Tag: legitimate rape

Donald Trump Hires Breitbart Dude To Fix Campaign, So He Can Win EVEN MORE

Is Donald Trump's new strategy the same as his old strategy? KIND OF!

Donald Trump Takes Firm Stand Against China Raping Us (Because That Is Mexico’s Job)

At a campaign rally in Fort Wayne, Indiana, on Sunday, Donald Trump forcefully described China's trade relationship with the USA as an act of sexual violence: "Don't forget. We're like the piggybank that's being robbed. We have the cards. We...

Idaho GOP Rep Is Big Fan Of Todd Akin, Covers His Smash Hit ‘Legitimate Rape’

What's good, Idaho Legislature? How is legislating going up there in the Great Potato State or whatever you call yourselves? Quick question: do you guys ever feel like you run, well, a little bit behind? Like perhaps your wingnuts...

Jizz Causes Lady Cancer, And Other Fun Sex Tips From The Duggars

We've learned so much about the Duggars in the past couple weeks! Of course, we now know, in grisly detail, about how Josh Duggar molested five girls, four of whom were also his co-stars on TLC's 19 Kids And Counting,...

Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your ‘Rape And Incest’ Story, Harlot

Sheila Butt, Republican state representative of Tennessee, is very misunderstood. In February, she was very upset because she just didn't understand why people would think that her call for a National Association For The Advancement of White People could...
Please come back and keep talking!

Magic Ladyparts Expert Todd Akin Would Like To Try For Senator Again, Yesssssss!

Todd Akin -- the former Missouri representative, failed senatorial candidate, and expert on how ladies have magic vaginas than can detect and deflect "legitimate rape" sperm to prevent pregnancy (right, THAT guy) -- is not going away. Sorry, Republicans, we know...
Understands Jesus

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

Usually, Yr Wonket has some discretion regarding which Palin-flavored entrees we will shove down your throats each weekend on the Fartknocker Report. Unfortunately, this was one of those weeks when the Tundra Grifter couldn't be bothered to do more than...

Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With ‘Our Republican Females’

Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, one of spittiest ragemonkeys the GOP has to offer, is feeling lots of upset feelings this week, and it is because House Republicans were forced to cancel a vote on their 20-week abortion ban bill...
and unfortunately I vote

Lindsey Graham Finding It Difficult To Separate Good Girls From Lying Sluts, Would Appreciate Suggestions

Senator Lindsey Graham (R-please just stop) spoke Thursday at the annual March for Life Rally/Recycled Offensive Placard Emporium about the House GOP's failure to get their act together enough to pass H.R. 36, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act....
Your lips are saying no but he's saying yes

Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?

Damn those feminists and their lies about "rape" and "sexual assault" and the "war on women" and other "things" Democrats say just to get people to vote for them. Because we all know that "hey, did you know rape...

I Am Mad About A Thing: Hooray, Todd Akin Has A ‘Book’

Ugh, Todd Akin, right? You remember Todd Akin, of course. He was a Republican representative from Missouri who just might have become a senator from Missouri if he had not made the catastrophic mistake, as Republicans are wont to...

More Legitimate Advice from a GOP Loser: Todd Akin Un-Ironically Discusses Winning

Seems like there are lots of failed Republicans taking positions on what the GOP should do to stop losing all the time. First, Bob Dole had a sad about the Tea Party on Sunday TeeVee, and the GOP was...

Honestly, You Guys, ‘Not Raping’ Is Actually Really Easy

Today is International Women's Day, which means two things. First, we have to listen to people say stupid things like: “I’m not a sexist, but why isn’t there an International Men’s Day?” The correct answer to that question is...

Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend

Craaaazy news out of Missouri, everybody. You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics, then got himself elected to the state legislature. Would you believe it was Sen. Todd Akin (R-Uterus)? It was! As...

Gentleman Scholar Todd Akin Laments Claire McCaskill’s Loss Of Ladydom

Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin is back in the Missouri Senate race ... because he never left it, son. Having weathered the storm caused by the liberal media pretending he thinks vaginas are washing machines for rape sperm (truth: he thinks...

Todd Akin Explains Inner Workings of Democracy In Language You Can Understand

Here is a pressing question that might be keeping you up nights, particularly if you live in whatever district in Missouri Todd Akin (R-Ladiesman) represents: What if you want to tell Todd Akin how much he sucks? How do...