Tag Archives: legislative shitmuffin Of the year

  fuck the poors

Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries

The Midwestern states sure do seem to be having a contest right now, over who can fuck the poors the baddest and the longest! Missouri gave it a shot, what with that dickhead rep who just wanted to make sure people receiving public assistance couldn’t waste it on seafood. But then Kansas totally took the lead, by passing a bill to ban poors from doing all kinds of things with their precious government-funded riches, like take Caribbean cruises. Gov. Sam Brownback signed the bill because DUH, everybody knows that poor people are always like “Oh I am busy that week, I’m going on a cruise.” But Wisconsin Rep. Jesse Kremer (R-You Knew That) has come up with some shit so demeaning to those struggling with poverty that we are kind of actually dumbfounded, which doesn’t happen often! Read more on Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries…
  Thanks Texas

Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change

Just being a good Christian
2014 was the year when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and became a true American. It was also the year when Cruz made his first successful title defense of Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award (National Division). How else did Ted save the soul of America this year? Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change…
  wonkette would never report this if he were a democrat

Jerk-Off Democrat Who Boned Medicaid Is Your State Legislative Sh*tmuffin Of 2014!

Congratulations, buddy, the medal's in the mail
Dear readers, do you live in a state? The Washington Bureau is located in a lawless wasteland known as the District of Columbia, where our primitive jungle council attempts to rule only to be thwarted by unseen but all-powerful overlords who hold the key to our riches. Someday, we shall find and defeat this “Congress.” Read more on Jerk-Off Democrat Who Boned Medicaid Is Your State Legislative Sh*tmuffin Of 2014!…
  Legitimate Legislating

Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up

Missouri State Rep. Rick Brattin is a dedicated foot soldier in the war against abortion. It must stick in his craw that the state still has one clinic performing the procedure in St. Louis, despite Brattin and his fellow Republicans in the legislature bombarding it with new restrictions at every opportunity and requiring patients to endure a 72-hour mandatory waiting period after the initial consultation, the longest in the country. Read more on Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up…
  The Lannisters Send Their Regards

Virginia Democrat Takes The Perfectly Legal Bribe Money From Republicans, Runs

We have a new entry into the coveted Wonkette Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award! His name is Phillip Puckett, and he was until very recently a Democratic state Senator from the Commonwealth of Virginia. That is, until some GOP senators gave him this nice bunch of cash for his daughter’s wedding a real nice job, and one for his daughter too. A bit of background: Virginia’s governor Terry McAuliffe (D-former DNC chair) is trying to push through the tyrannical Obummercare Medicaid expansion, and his plans rested on a razor-thin margin in the state Senate. Take it away, WaPo. Sen. Phillip P. Puckett (D-Russell) will announce his resignation Monday, effective immediately, paving the way to appoint his daughter to a judgeship and Puckett to the job of deputy director of the state tobacco commission, three people familiar with the plan said Sunday.[…] The news prompted outrage among Democrats — and accusations that Republicans were trying to buy the Senate with job offers in order to thwart McAuliffe’s proposal to expand health coverage to 400,000 low-income Virginians. This, kiddos, is how the corrupt sausage gets made. Virginia Republicans went to their dog-eared copies of The Necronomicon, found which of Virginia’s state Senators was the most cravenly self-interested piece of shit of all, and then cooked up a tit-for-tat for him. And as far as Yr Wonket can tell, it is all perfectly legal. Read more on Virginia Democrat Takes The Perfectly Legal Bribe Money From Republicans, Runs…
  a real comer

Montana Legislator Dave Hagstrom Makes Run At Title With Homophobe/Die-Poors One-Two Punch

Ladies and gentlemen, do we have a new contender? Is Montana Rep. Dave Hagstrom here to take home the whole shebang with his one-two knockout punch? First Hagstrom wrote a fairly hilarious letter to all his tenants explaining that they were just going to have to die young for the good of the nation — before it was revealed that when it comes to federal moneys and his rentier lifestyle, a river runs through it. And then Montana Cowgirl gifted us with this video, above, where Hagstrom explains how gay penises should retract like ball point pens, because of how they are not “normative.” Aw man, next we are going to be hearing about Foucault and cis-privilege and hegemony and stuff, like we never escaped from grad school at all. Read more on Montana Legislator Dave Hagstrom Makes Run At Title With Homophobe/Die-Poors One-Two Punch…
  call of maternal duty: blecch ops

Oklahoma State Senate Bill: Employers Ain’t Gotta Insure Contraceptives Because Women Are Meant To Be Mommies

Oh, hey, here’s a new twist on an old story! You already know how having to pay for insurance coverage for birth control is a violation of an employer’s sacred right to tell employees how to live, but a genius state Senator in Oklahoma, Clark Jolley (R-Not All That Jolly) has just placed himself in the race for Wonkette Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year by introducing yet another bill that that would allow employers to opt out of covering slut pills. The opt-out isn’t a new idea, but the justification is truly novel: Jolley says he introduced the bill at the request of a constituent, Dr. Dominic Pedulla, of Oklahoma City. Pedulla is a cardiologist, but bills himself as “a natural family planning medical consultant and women’s health researcher” and contends that contraception “suppresses and disables” women’s true nature: “Part of their identity is the potential to be a mother,” Pedulla said. “They are being asked to suppress and radically contradict part of their own identity, and if that wasn’t bad enough, they are being asked to poison their bodies.” We know we are somewhat stepping on the line of regular commenter Callyson here, but, Oh, for fuck’s sake. Read more on Oklahoma State Senate Bill: Employers Ain’t Gotta Insure Contraceptives Because Women Are Meant To Be Mommies…
  Stems and Seeds of Liberty

Idaho State Senator Loves States’ Rights But Not For Demon Weed

If there’s anything your wingnuts love, it’s the hallowed concept of States’ Rights. Your modern wingnut says the states should never have to knuckle under to Federal tyranny, because freedom! In the Great State of Idaho, one of the freedom-lovingest Freedomeers is State Sen. Chuck Winder (rhymes with “splinter”), who loves freedom so much that he supported a 2011 bill to nullify health care reform, and has also signed on to efforts to allow health-care providers to refuse to provide health care for slutty women. He loves states’ freedom so much that he thinks states should be free to make slutty women undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before getting an abortion, because the state has an interest in making sure babbies get borned. So here’s a man who loves freedom for states, which is good for everyone else’s freedom, too, except slutty ladies, of course. But Sen. Winder is also a deeply moral man, and he has serious concerns about what other states have been doing, particularly those stoners next door in Washington, where the voters got tired of having to guard their stashes with alligators and just plain legalized the filthy weed. So Winder has introduced two bills in the current session of the Idaho Lege, one of which will promise to keep pot illegal in the state forever and ever, and the other one a “non-binding memorial calling on the federal government to enforce federal anti-drug laws in all states,” including those with medical marijuana laws. Because Chuck Winder would do anything for states’ rights, but he won’t do THAT. Read more on Idaho State Senator Loves States’ Rights But Not For Demon Weed…
  We The Livid

To Promote Freedom, Idaho Senator Wants To Require All Students To Read ‘Atlas Shrugged’

To make a point about government efficiency or something, an Idaho state senator has introduced a bill that he has no intention of actually passing. The proposal would require all Idaho high school students to read Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and pass a test on it in order to graduate. The Spokane Spokesman-Review reports that state Sen. John Goedde, who chairs the Senate Education Committee, had a perfectly objective (ha-ha!) reason for wanting all high school students to read Rand: When Sen. Bob Nonini, R-Coeur d’Alene, asked Goedde why he chose that particular book, Goedde said to laughter, “That book made my son a Republican.” Read more on To Promote Freedom, Idaho Senator Wants To Require All Students To Read ‘Atlas Shrugged’…
  sheryl nuxoll

Idaho State Senator Says Obamacare Just Like The Holocaust, Because Of Course It Is

Idaho state Senator Sheryl Nuxoll does not like this Obamacare thing one bit, and she also does not like that Idaho Gov. Butch Otter is supporting legislation to set up a state health exchange, because what kind of freedom-loving American simply goes along with something as trivial as federal law? So Sen Nuxoll sent a very coherent mass email and Twitter message saying that insurance companies going along with the healthcare exchange plan are “Much like the Jews boarding the trains to concentration camps” and that after the exchanges are formed, the federal government will somehow take everything over and “will pull the trigger on the insurance companies.” For some reason, a bunch of people thought maybe it was a little strange, and maybe even offensive, to compare a health insurance plan to actual genocide, but Nuxoll is unrepentant: “There is no disrespect for any group or people with the analogy.… I just want people to know the truth.” Which is, apparently, that Barack Obama first segregated insurance companies from the rest of the corporate population, forcing them to live in crowded ghettos and not allowing them to marry, uh, gentile corporations. And next, he will send insurance companies to Auschwitz, where some will go directly to the gas chambers and others will be worked to death producing synthetic rubber. This is definitely a true thing, and not batshit insanity at all. Read more on Idaho State Senator Says Obamacare Just Like The Holocaust, Because Of Course It Is…
  Don't Ask Don't Tell Worked So Well Before!

Idiot Tennessee Senator Behind ‘Report Gay Kids’ Bill Explains He Just Wants To Help Young Sodomites

Hey, you know that absolutely terrible bill in Tennessee that would require schools to out gay kids to their parents if the kids say they’re gay? And also that OTHER idiotic bill that would cut poor families’ welfare benefits if their kids fail in school? Somehow, what with Your Wonkette being written by people who are not actually (*shudder!*) from Tennessee, we didn’t notice that both bills were the brainchildren of state Senator Stacey Campfield, who is running a strong campaign for Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Year Award. Sen. Campfield is so very sure of brilliance of his retooled “Don’t Say You’re Gay” bill that he took to the comments section of the Knoxville News Sentinel to defend it. And he’s every bit as douchey and obtuse as you might expect! Read more on Idiot Tennessee Senator Behind ‘Report Gay Kids’ Bill Explains He Just Wants To Help Young Sodomites…