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Tag: legalize it

Maryland Rep Opposes DC Statehood Because Of All These Facts He Just Made Up

You know what would be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad thing for the country? If Washington DC, the only part of the continental United States that currently gets no actual say in the legislative branch of government, got full...

Nebraska and Oklahoma Harshing Colorado’s Mellow With Totally Uncool Lawsuit, Man

Colorado is coming up on its one-year weediversary! In keeping with the paper gift traditionally given on first anniversaries, two of its neighbors went in on a lovingly handcrafted lawsuit. In the most serious legal challenge to date against Colorado's legalization of...

Burning Issues: Is That Weed On Your Ballot?

Our great nation is in danger of falling under the influence of Reefer Madness this Election Day, with weed-related ballot questions in three states plus that fake state the "District of Columbia." America, what has gotten into you? It's almost like rational adults started interpreting...

House Passes ‘No Welfare For Weed’ Bill, Which Fails To Ban Welfare For Weed

After coming back from a five-week "district work period" for eight action-packed days of legislating, members of the House and Senate went slinking out of DC on Thursday while mumbling over their shoulders that they'd be on email if...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Scaling New Heights Of Wedding Absurdity Edition

OK, before you do anything else today and before we really delve into today's New York Times, go read the single most terribawesome wedding/celebration article the NYT has ever written. We'll wait right here. Done? What was your favorite...

Nice Time! Colorado Hemp Farmers Boldly Grow Where No Man Has Grown Before

In excellent news for everyone who's ever harangued you about the marvels of industrial-grade hemp (which is not pot, no it isn't, and legalizing it has nothing to do with trying to legalize the smokable stuff, man, it's just...

John McCain Just Wants To Get Hiiiiiiiiiiigh

We told you about John McCain's dumb town hall -- it included a dude with marshmallows, which we guess is a better town hall prop than an AK, or a brick. But what we did not tell you, because...

Hippies At Seattle P.D. Will Feed You Snacks For Your Trip On ‘The Pot’

Would you like to know what it looks like when police are not busy arresting 750,000 people A YEAR for getting "high" on the pot? That is so many arrests, but how else are you going to put all...

Idaho State Senator Loves States’ Rights But Not For Demon Weed

If there's anything your wingnuts love, it's the hallowed concept of States' Rights. Your modern wingnut says the states should never have to knuckle under to Federal tyranny, because freedom! In the Great State of Idaho, one of the...

Pat Robertson Calls For Pot Legalization, Ruins Everything

Pat Robertson, the 81-year-old titan of Goddist bombast, has proven that some boxed sacks of two-buck chuck age well if you can wait eight decades and have nothing else to drink, not even water. Robertson experienced a brief tic...

Pot Fanatics Ruin Obama’s Attempt to Talk About Serious Things Again

In another failed attempt to have a Serious Discussion about things that allegedly matter to the American people, like the invisibility of jobs, the mirage-like appearance of money and the light-as-air noggins of the land's lawmakers, the White House...

White House Will Now Pretend To Listen To Everyone’s Crazy Ideas

Hey, America! Do you have ideas? Do you think that maybe everyone should be able to smoke lots of weed, or drive in cars without seat belts, or that we should all be ruled by robots, instead of Barack...

Mexican President Fears California Will Ruin His Pot Business

Wake up, West Coast dope hippies! If voters approve California's Proposition 19, everything will be ruined for Mexico's farmers, soldiers, and cops! Thus speaks Don Pito Calderone, the top narco-capo of the República de México who moonlights as a...

HIPPIE ALERT: Weed Is Going To Be Legal Soon In California

First the California Hippie Unions backed this so-called Legalize It law. And now normal, not-union hippies (the rest of California) support it. Oh dear, weed: In a new Field Poll of likely voters in the Nov. 2 election, the...

‘Smoke That Weed,’ Says Important California Union

America is one step closer to being encapsulated in an enormous hippie bong cloud, thanks to the evil unions: Adam Nagourney reports that one of California's most powerful unions, the Service Employees International Union, has come out in support of...

Barney Frank and Ron Paul Will Get Us High

Famous liberal Barney Frank has aligned with famous Internet character Ron Paul and three other congresspeople to make the Marijuana legal, finally, in America! The bill is called the "Act to Remove Federal Penalties for Personal Use of Marijuana...