legalize it

OK, before you do anything else today and before we really delve into today’s New York Times, go read the single most terribawesome wedding/celebration article the NYT has ever written. We’ll wait right here. Done? What was your favorite part? Was it the part where she had “Ophelia-like boots” back in the 1990s? (We do […]

In excellent news for everyone who’s ever harangued you about the marvels of industrial-grade hemp (which is not pot, no it isn’t, and legalizing it has nothing to do with trying to legalize the smokable stuff, man, it’s just good ecology and good economics!*), a few pioneering Colorado farmers are bringing in their first harvests […]

We told you about John McCain’s dumb town hall — it included a dude with marshmallows, which we guess is a better town hall prop than an AK, or a brick. But what we did not tell you, because we did not know it, is that John McCain thinks it is time for you to […]

Would you like to know what it looks like when police are not busy arresting 750,000 people A YEAR for getting “high” on the pot? That is so many arrests, but how else are you going to put all the black people in jail? (Sorry black people, you are three times more likely to be […]

If there’s anything your wingnuts love, it’s the hallowed concept of States’ Rights. Your modern wingnut says the states should never have to knuckle under to Federal tyranny, because freedom! In the Great State of Idaho, one of the freedom-lovingest Freedomeers is State Sen. Chuck Winder (rhymes with “splinter”), who loves freedom so much that […]

Pat Robertson, the 81-year-old titan of Goddist bombast, has proven that some boxed sacks of two-buck chuck age well if you can wait eight decades and have nothing else to drink, not even water. Robertson experienced a brief tic of normalcy when he came out of the marijuana closet this week, telling the New York […]

In another failed attempt to have a Serious Discussion about things that allegedly matter to the American people, like the invisibility of jobs, the mirage-like appearance of money and the light-as-air noggins of the land’s lawmakers, the White House held a contest to see which American person-submitted questions President Obama should answer in a YouTube […]

Hey, America! Do you have ideas? Do you think that maybe everyone should be able to smoke lots of weed, or drive in cars without seat belts, or that we should all be ruled by robots, instead of Barack Obama or, Allah-forbid, Rick Perry? Well, terrific, because now the White House will humor you with […]

Wake up, West Coast dope hippies! If voters approve California’s Proposition 19, everything will be ruined for Mexico’s farmers, soldiers, and cops! Thus speaks Don Pito Calderone, the top narco-capo of the República de México who moonlights as a Napoleonic president. Here’s the shocking headline from the Guadalajara daily Informador: “Calderon: Problems for Mexico if […]

First the California Hippie Unions backed this so-called Legalize It law. And now normal, not-union hippies (the rest of California) support it. Oh dear, weed: In a new Field Poll of likely voters in the Nov. 2 election, the state’s Proposition 19 marijuana initiative leads by a 49 percent to 42 percent margin. The measure […]

America is one step closer to being encapsulated in an enormous hippie bong cloud, thanks to the evil unions: Adam Nagourney reports that one of California’s most powerful unions, the Service Employees International Union, has come out in support of a ballot measure to make California the first state to legalize the sale and use […]

Famous liberal Barney Frank has aligned with famous Internet character Ron Paul and three other congresspeople to make the Marijuana legal, finally, in America! The bill is called the “Act to Remove Federal Penalties for Personal Use of Marijuana by Responsible Adults,” which sounds very responsible, and would make it federally legal to possess up […]

LIVES OF THE SLUM DWELLERS  12:56 pm January 31, 2009

by Ken Layne

OBAMA BRO BUSTED FOR ONE JOINT! Oh noes, one of Barack Obama’s million half-brothers somewhere got arrested, for having a single joint. Where does this dude live, Oklahoma? No, the slums of Kenya! So the cops are just going to fuck with anyone named “Obama” for the next eight years. [Gawker/Telegraph]