Barack Obama Relaxed Your Summer Dress Code!
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
Guess what, Democratic National Committee kids working through the hot summer months while everybody else is pretty much not thinking at all about the election?
The DNC says you can sorta dress down for summer — but not like a complete whore or a bum! Read the new Dress Code and feel the wind beneath your … uh, skirt. MORE »
Guess what, Democratic National Committee kids working through the hot summer months while everybody else is pretty much not thinking at all about the election?
The DNC says you can sorta dress down for summer — but not like a complete whore or a bum! Read the new Dress Code and feel the wind beneath your … uh, skirt. MORE »
The frustrating 2008 Democratic primary season has been made even more insufferable by the Obama campaign staff’s refusal to talk smack about any of their coworkers. This leaves a bitter press corps with no fun tidbits to write about, which is why it’s still good that Hillary Clinton is in the race. Basically, Barack Obama is like the George Bush of 2000, commanding a team of eerily happy and loyal drones who will all become torture-loving yes-men once they seize the reins of power. The secrets to Barack’s success, after the jump. 
Ex-chief of staff to Dick Cheney, known perjurer and wuss jail-dodger I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been disbarred, according to a D.C. Court of Appeals ruling. The cut-and-running court explained: “When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory.” Yes, dumb old Scooter was a textbook case of “moral turpitude,” that old scourge of an offense. Remember when he lied all those times? They were the most morally turpitudinous lies since the great Turpitude Outbreak of 1913. [
In an attempt to quell angry God people from getting all self-righteous (good luck!), Mitt Romney held an invitation-only event with students, faculty and alumni of Bob Jones University Tuesday. Guess he figured that since it was a closed event, whatever private revelations about his campaign that would be discussed would never in a million years reach the press. And who wouldn’t believe that!? Sure enough, some sleuth at the meeting sneaked in an “audio recording device” — they can tape soundz people make! — and 
Valerie Plame is testifying before congress right now, as the Democrats try to salvage some scandal from Patrick Fitzgerald’s now-concluded crusade of justice. 
Every year about this time, a group of elderly newspaper editors is slowly led to a table and shown stacks and stacks of three-part investigative reports about the recent problems with polar bears, the long boring process of building some civic auditorium, or the proud journey of a little Guatemalan girl born with six heads. The senile newspapermen drool a bit on the “finalists,” and pretty soon Editor & Publisher has posted the leaked list. 
No, it’s true, he said something noncommittal about it! 
The more we learn about the Libby jury, the more we hope we’re never tried by a jury of his peers. From the post-it notes asking “
When we said Scooter’d get 24 months earlier, how could we be so sure? Because, well, we asked a lawyer. And he responded with a billion words explaining, in great detail, precisely what will happen to Mr. Scooter Libby. Here’s the conclusion: