lawsuits
Hero Judge Teabags Birther To Tune Of $177 Large
Brooklyn judge Arthur Schack pulled out his punking thesaurus the other day to slap down birther Christopher Earl Strunk’s latest frivolous lawsuit (of around 20), which claims that your Barry Soetoro is not eligible to run for preznet. In a written order, Schack went all Gabe Kotter on Strunk, saying that his 2011 suit was [...]
Report: GOP Tried to Hire Lady Gaga to Play Her Sex Music at RNC
It turns out everyone’s favorite closeted homosexual support group the Republican Party seems to have wanted Lady Gaga at last summer’s Republican National Convention far more than it wanted noted sleeping aid Mitt Romney there: according to the hilarious details of a lawsuit against one of the RNC vendors, Lady Gaga was offered one million [...]
Bradlee Dean, Who Has Never Advocated Beating Children, Advocates Beating Children Again
Wonket bestie Bradlee Dean is still trying to tell schools how they should be, even though he keeps getting chased out of schools (and even whole towns!) for being The Worst. But here is a funny thing! In his newest “Good Old Days” column, in which he pines for a yesteryear when children could take [...]
Mommyblogging! New Mexico Jailers Send Man To His Room For Two Years, By Accident!
Well, here is a terrible story out of New Mexico that is about as funny as a feminist: A 59-year-old man jailed (BUT NEVER PROSECUTED OR CONVICTED) for alleged DUI was dumped into solitary confinement to keep him away from other prisoners due to his history of mental illness — and left there for almost [...]
Betsy Rothstein, FishbowlDC Sued Just For Calling Some Publicist A Slut Every Week For A Year
“Why is Betsy Rothstein such a fucking cunt?” we were asking sometime last year, after FishbowlDC editor Betsy Rothstein decided we were a giant alcoholic who loves to make things up (fine) without even checking to see if we were indeed making things up! (We weren’t; the goodly folks at Politico had their own thoughts [...]
Gingrich Sugar-Daddy Took Our Manhood, Say Peons
If there is one thing you will learn from the workplace accident documentary Extract, it is that losing one ball is the sweet spot in any work-injury claim. Lose both, and the jury can’t identify with you, as they themselves would never — could never — be similarly unmanned. Lose neither, and why are they [...]
‘Don’t Worry About That,’ Cops Tell Women Before Giving Them Roadside Handies
Why is that cop putting on rubber gloves and coming towards me, you might be wondering next time you are pulled over for littering and live in Texas and see a cop coming towards you wearing rubber gloves. Oh THAT, don’t worry about that, just close your eyes and think of England! This is what [...]
It Is Like This Chick Suing The Family Research Council Thinks She Shouldn’t Have To Be Harrassed On The Job
Sure, there’s a war on women (but it’s more like a no-fly zone on women, no?), but why isn’t anyone paying attention to that other catastrophic American culture war -the war by women. It’s bad enough that young boys suffer as casualties when women of all ages insist on assaulting traditional American gender roles, but [...]
(Not Kate Middleton’s) Baby News! Hero Business Offers Preggo Employee Bigger Puke Bins, For Freedom!
We have news! Pregnancy news! Unfortunately, it is not about Kate Middleton, whom we have never met, but would like to, because WOWIE. No, no. Listen up, this one is not about royal babies, this one is about America the land of the fucking free, where we do not have duchesses, we have pregnant call [...]
Strippers Score Hot Legal Victory Over Terrible Rhino
Here at Wonkette, we take our goal of bringing you Very Serious Legal News very seriously. Whether it is politicians getting busted for the sexytime, politicians getting busted for the sexytime, or politicians getting busted for the sexytime, we here at Wonkette are ON it. Sometimes sexytime isn’t so sexy, though! Sometimes ladies who deliver [...]
Televangelists Jan and Paul Crouch Live Like Jesus With $100,000 Motorhome For Their Dogs
Oh whoops, Trinity Broadcasting Network and superduper good Christians Jan and Paul Crouch are getting sued (again) and this time it involves a whistleblower who noticed things like their $50 million jet, the $100,000 motorhome for their dogs, and a whole bunch of fraudulent loans maybe? And then the whistleblower got fired from handling their [...]
Koch Brothers Sue Their Own Crown Jewel Think Tank
The Cato Institute, originally conceived as the Charles Koch Foundation in 1974, is the proud upper-crust luxury hotel for all of DC’s most erudite corporate libertarians, as well as Glenn Greenwald. It is a popular vehicle for right-wing economic ideology to sneak its way into conservative legislation. And it is, of course, one of the [...]
Meghan McCain Finally Takes Offense At Someone Calling Her Stupid
Oh boohoo, Meghan McCain is furious because mean old troll Erick Erickson’s right-wing website RedState.com posted some kind of half-wit parody of Meghan McCain’s vapid Daily Beast columns that her lawyers say too closely resembles her actual half-wit columns to count as satire. The original post has been taken down, but the full version of [...]
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