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Posts Tagged ‘lawsuits’

Andrew Giuliani Throws Apples At People

Friday, September 12th, 2008

Over the summer we mentioned that Andrew Giuliani, the son of 9/11, was suing Duke University because “he was wrongfully kicked off the golf team,” because talent should have had nothing to do with whether he made the cut on a sports team. But maybe this stuff does: “Duke said in a court filing Wednesday that the 22-year-old Giuliani was properly suspended after throwing an apple in the face of another player, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and becoming verbally abusive with a coach.” Andrew denies all of this, which brings us back to the original argument: that he sucks at golf. [Charlotte Observer via Above The Law]


Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

FAILEvery four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be bombed from space as a Republican takes office yet again. So which state will we be able to blame when Sarah Palin is hastily sworn in as America’s 45th president after John McCain expires from gout and agues in the spring of 2009? MORE »


Lucky Ex-NYC Cop Fed Pot Meatballs

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

a great way to complement your super tuberAn ex-NYC counterterrorism cop who was suspended and ultimately fired for failing a drug test is claiming his wife laced a meatball recipe with pot because she thought his job would kill him or something. He’s using that excuse in a suit he’s just filed against the NYPD, which will either continue to not give a shit or start not giving a new shit in response. MORE »


Saturday, November 24th, 2007

Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, who has been on a leave of absence since Cocktober, resigned Friday, effective immediately. Satan’s forces are advancing! The pants party don’t never stop. [AP]


Friday, September 21st, 2007

Wacky Nebraska-state Senator Ernie Chambers sued God for being a terrorist, and the court in Omaha has already received two responses from two different Gods making the usual Cheney-esque claims of immunity from prosecution. [My Fox]


Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Your telephone company wants the government to forbid you from suing them for cooperating with said government in spying on you. All the lobbyists are Bush family connected, except the ones who are Democrats. But have you seen those new Wes Anderson AT&T ads? [Newsweek]


Radio Person Suing TV Star For Stealing Klingon Joke

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007


This is Cenk Uygur from ‘The Young Turks,’ Air America’s morning show. He is suing Stephen Colbert for $65 million, just like the pants guy, for stealing a joke about Klingons. You can see both jokes in the clip. Of course, we’re bloggers, so we steal all of our material, but apparently standards are different for basic cable and niche radio people. Still, you can sue for a “stolen” joke? Milton Berle is shaking in his boots while rolling in his grave. After the jump, a fun assignment! MORE »


Nebraska State Senator Sues Eric Clapton

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

God said to Abraham, kill me a son... - WonketteIn order to make the point that there is no such thing as a “frivolous” lawsuit, Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers has filed the most fivolous lawsuit ever, suing God himself. Chambers “seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.” While his confused political point is pretty much impossible to understand, Chambers’ suit itself is hilarious. Seriously, look at the details from the filing, it’s like a Randy Newman song come to life: MORE »


Law School Textbook Rips Off Two Blogger Roman a Clefs

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

what a crazy pair - WonketteA law student sent us this example of the thinnest veiling we’ve ever seen, from a Torts textbook (specifically Tort Law: Cases, Perspectives and Problems. 4th Edition. Galligan, Haddon, McClellan et al if you’re interested). It’s the story of “Jessica Butler,” her filthy sex with an aide to “Senator Foghorn,” and her salacious blog that detailed the whole seedy affair. MORE »


Friday, August 10th, 2007

Johnson & Johnson (founded 1886) sues the Red Cross (founded 1881) for appropriating their red cross trademark. [CNN]


TSA Detains Man for Anti-American T-Shirt

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

It says Did you know that wearing a t-shirt with arabic writing to an airport is the equivalent of a “”person wearing a t-shirt at a bank stating, ‘I am a robber’”? No? Then you clearly don’t work with the TSA, who barred Reed Jarrar over there from boarding his flight at JFK because his shirt had terrifying non-Roman characters on it. MORE »


Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

Remember that thing from the other day when all the Republicans walked out of the House because the Dems apparently kinda sorta reversed a vote they lost? Now some guy is suing Nancy Pelosi, apparently. Anyway, here’s his website. He’s a doctor, just like Bill Frist! He has standing to sue Nancy because he dislikes her very, very much, and he is a doctor. [Robert B. Sklaroff, M.D.]


CIA Sued for Being a Dick

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

Valerie “Plame” Wilson worked for the CIA for exactly “20 years, 7 days,” with “six years, one month and 29 days of overseas service,” according to the CIA via the Congressional Record. MORE »