Tag Archives: lawsuit

  Also Their Football Team Sucks

Lawsuit Against Trump’s Scammy ‘University’ May Reveal What The Bastard’s Really Worth

On the other hand, we would totally go to Twilight Sparkle University
Here’s a little bit of trivia that you might want to stash away in the same corner of your brain that remembers how Al Capone was finally busted not for being a mobster, but for tax evasion: It’s starting to look like the best glimpse America may really get of Donald Trump’s actual net worth will probably come from a discovery filing in a class-action lawsuit against his dumb fake “University,” rather than from his federal election financial disclosure forms. We can’t wait for Trump to condemn the people suing him as idiots and lightweights for falling for his distance-learning scam, just as he screamed at the New York AG who sued Trump “University” for fraud. Read more on Lawsuit Against Trump’s Scammy ‘University’ May Reveal What The Bastard’s Really Worth…
  Go In Dumb Come Out Dumb Too

Giant Pussies At LSU Fire Professor For Saying Bad, Bad Words

Really. What the actual fuck?
For your “You have got to be fucking kidding me” files, we present the story of Louisiana State University associate professor Teresa Buchanan, who was fired effective June 19 for having “sexually harassed” her students — if, that is, you buy the idea that occasionally saying “Fuck no” (and other variations on the Fuck-word) and having told a slightly off-color joke during class constitutes “sexual harassment.” No, we are not fucking kidding. In addition to those two offenses, Buchanan also, as the local paper put it, used “a slang term for vagina that implies cowardice,” which was a nice way to pussy out on saying what she actually said. Teresa Buchanan was a tenured professor with 20 years experience teaching early childhood education and training elementary school teachers at LSU. And yes, you bet your sweet ass she’s planning to sue. Read more on Giant Pussies At LSU Fire Professor For Saying Bad, Bad Words…
  Justice Of Miscarriage

Miscarrying Lady Almost Dies At Catholic Hospital, But At Least She Didn’t Get An Abortion

How cool is Steve Brodner? Cool enough that he gave us permission to use this within five minutes of asking!
Oh, Wonketteers, you’re going to want to remove any heavy objects from the vicinity of your computer before you read this one, lest you hurl anything through your monitor (mobile users are advised to tie down their throwing arms). Tuesday, a federal district judge in Michigan dismissed a woman’s lawsuit against the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and three chairs or former chairs of the Catholic hospital chain that owns Mercy Health Partners’ hospital in Muskegon, Michigan. In 2010, Tamesha Means was only 18 weeks pregnant when her water broke and she went to Mercy — one of only two hospitals in Muskegon County, which are both owned by the same Catholic company, Trinity Health. We’ll let the ACLU tell you how that went: Read more on Miscarrying Lady Almost Dies At Catholic Hospital, But At Least She Didn’t Get An Abortion…
  Will The Thing On His Head Testify?

Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans

Also Free Speach!
Humungous bag of weasel smegma Donald Trump is suing Univision for $500 million because it canceled its coverage of the Miss Universe pageant after his really smart (and totally accurate, he says) analysis of Mexicans, who are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.” Some, he figures, are “good people,” so he doesn’t even see why everyone’s having a hissy fit, he’s covered that. And who knows, depending on the details of the contract, he might even have a case against the network. Oh, but it turns out that the lawsuit isn’t just about breach of contract. No, this is Donald Trump, so he had to go Full Palin and accuse the network of trying to stifle his FREE SPEACH. Read more on Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans…
  Believe It Or Nuts

Atheist Lady Sued For Calling Fraud Faith Healer A Fraud

I *am too* a credible healing practitioner!
So there’s this guy in Bisbee, Arizona, named Adam Miller, who had himself a near-death experience in 1977 and believes it imbued him with the power to heal people — tens of thousands of them, in fact! An atheist video blogger, Stephanie Guttormson, was a tad skeptical about some of Miller’s claims, so in December of 2014, she posted a YouTube video mocking Miller’s claims and pointing out that faith healing isn’t actual doctorin’. After hearing back from several of his clients who were outraged that anyone would criticize the man who made them all better, Miller sued Guttormson, claiming copyright infringement and defamation. So far, the chief effect seems to have been that Guttormson’s video has gone viral, and thousands more people now share her opinion that Miller is a fraud. Read more on Atheist Lady Sued For Calling Fraud Faith Healer A Fraud…
  You Need Jesus In School. Where Else In Tennessee Would Kids Hear About Him?

‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding

Oh Christ, now I'm going to have to *watch* these...
Cry for the poor oppressed Christians of Grundy County, Tennessee, will you please, O Wonkers? Lo, they are sore afraid, and most put upon, for an HERETIC is amongst them, using arcane magicks (the Constitution of the United States) and consorting with Devilish Forces (the Freedom From Religion Foundation) to withhold from the public schools the Word Of God! Which is to say, some old evangelist fart calling himself “the Bible Man” won’t be allowed to hold taxpayer-funded revival meetings at the elementary schools anymore, because of some stupid thing about it being unconstitutional. Happily, it all worked out for the best because the good Christian townspeople have figured out the identity of the troublemaking atheist mom who complained to the FFRF, and they’ve been threatening her with violent retribution, seeing as how God Himself hasn’t gotten around to smiting the godless bitch yet. But they know that’s what He’d want. Read more on ‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding…
  First Amendment? What First Amendment?

Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)

Hey, that dude looks like Breitbart!
Happy Nice Time Update: See end of post! The Tennessee House voted Wednesday to name the Bible the official state book. But don’t worry, it’s not a violation of the First Amendment, because the people who wrote the bill said, nahh, it’s exactly like a state song or a state bird, and nobody complains that those violate the Constitution, do they? And then they turned right around and said that they had to make the Bible the state book to show that Tennessee loves Jesus a whole bunch. Read more on Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)…
  Bringing Back 'Drive Through Deliveries' For Freedom

Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’

Larry, you ignorant Stutts
Here’s a shining example of how the noble institutions of democracy can address injustice: Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, MD, an OB/GYN who just took office in January, has introduced a bill to repeal a law inspired by the death of one of his patients. Needless to say, Stutts insists that he just wants to keep the state from interfering with the precious doctor-patient relationship, for freedom; just please don’t anybody look too hard at how that doctor-patient relationship worked out 17 years ago for one of his patients who died, we think we mentioned that, didn’t we? Read more on Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’…
  A Plague O' Both Your Houses

Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?

Please don't send me to the Bad Kennel!
Now here’s a moral quandary for you: Who are the least loathsome characters in this little drama playing out in Maricopa County, Arizona? Is it Austin and Logan Flake, who were temporarily in charge of a dog-boarding facility last summer when 21 dogs died of heat exhaustion after the air conditioning failed in a shed where the dogs were housed? Probably not! But that would leave as the least loathsome character Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, so … [BRAINS EXPLODE]. Read more on Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?…
  Would You Like Breadsticks With Your Class War?

Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!

No extra compensation for the shitty pizza
Here’s some Nice Time/Justice Done news for all you fans of class warfare: A Papa John’s pizza franchise in New York has been ordered to pay almost $800,000 in back pay to workers it cheated out of wages. The court found that for more than six years, the franchisee “Emstar Pizza Inc,” which operates seven restaurants, rounded each employee’s hours down to the nearest full hour, cheating hundreds of employees out of their full pay, as well as underreporting hours worked and not paying overtime. Let’s hear it for the job creators, who deserve a tax cut for all the hard work they put into earning profits, huh? You don’t just come up with scams like that by being lazy. The owner of the franchise, Emmanuel Onuaguluchi tried unsuccessfully to escape previous court orders on back pay by attempting to sell the franchise. Read more on Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!…
  Fox To Call For French Tort Reform

Paris To Fox News: See You In Court For Being Lying Liars

Terrifying real news that's verified... to be fake
Now that Fox News has admitted it completely made up a series of stories about supposed “no go zones” in France and England — districts where the police and other officials supposedly leave local Muslims to run things on their own and create little islands of Sharia where no non-Muslim dare enter — the mayor of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, says she’s planning to sue Fox News for lying about Her Fair City: Read more on Paris To Fox News: See You In Court For Being Lying Liars…
  And Lawyers Are Like Pipe Bombs Or Something

California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win

Don't mind me. Just sitting in. Hey, kids, want some loaves and fishes? I have extra
The school board of Chino, California, is being sued by the mean old Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) just because it likes to open its meetings with a few prayers to Jesus. Plus some proselytizing during board meetings, and, OK, offering Bible classes taught with materials from a church, too. Members of the board are pretty sure they’re just doing what George Washington and Jesus want, which is to make sue that God isn’t excluded from public life. At a meeting last week, during which the board voted to seek an attorney to volunteer to defend the case, one board member compared the lawsuit to the recent terrorist attacks in France, because of course the First Amendment is a lot like an automatic rifle. Read more on California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)

Wonkette's fiance
A goodly chunk of the Rachel Maddow Show Thursday was devoted to an exclusive story on the John Ensign sex scandal and its fallout, much of which had been hidden away in Justice Department records. You see, Ensign, Nevada’s “other” Senator until his abrupt resignation in 2011, wasn’t merely a family-values horndog who was sexing a staffer. His lover’s husband, Doug Hampton, was also an Ensign staffer, and once the affair ended in 2009, Ensign tried to make things better by getting Hampton a job as a lobbyist — which violated federal laws. Guess which one of the two ended up getting prosecuted for that? Hint: It was not the disgraced Senator, who now plies his trade as a veterinarian in Las Vegas. Hampton pleaded guilty, and Ensign went back to giving shots to poodles. Read more on Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)…
  Two Live Crude

Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)

You now have the Narwhal Song going through your head. You are welcome.
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of Oil Spills, Oil Drilling, Oil Corruption, and Pathetic Compensation Offers From Oil Companies. Here’s a sort-of Nice Time story. Royal Dutch Shell, the international giant that makes life better all over the world by keeping us safe from marauding polar bears and painful sunburns that might result from going to clean beaches, has agreed to pay out £55 million (about $83.5 million) to a Nigerian fishing community that it pretty much made uninhabitable with two huge oil spills in 2008: Read more on Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)…
  Secrets And Lies

Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks

We concur. Lightly salted rat dicks are called for in this case
You may find this very hard to believe, but it looks like we haven’t heard the final word on the grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson in the killing of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. Even though Sean Hannity and the rest of the Fox “News” legal team told us that Darren Wilson had been proven innocent by a flawless grand jury process! Read more on Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks…