Tag Archives: lawsuit

  Bringing Back 'Drive Through Deliveries' For Freedom

Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’

Larry, you ignorant Stutts
Here’s a shining example of how the noble institutions of democracy can address injustice: Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, MD, an OB/GYN who just took office in January, has introduced a bill to repeal a law inspired by the death of one of his patients. Needless to say, Stutts insists that he just wants to keep the state from interfering with the precious doctor-patient relationship, for freedom; just please don’t anybody look too hard at how that doctor-patient relationship worked out 17 years ago for one of his patients who died, we think we mentioned that, didn’t we? Read more on Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’…
  A Plague O' Both Your Houses

Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?

Please don't send me to the Bad Kennel!
Now here’s a moral quandary for you: Who are the least loathsome characters in this little drama playing out in Maricopa County, Arizona? Is it Austin and Logan Flake, who were temporarily in charge of a dog-boarding facility last summer when 21 dogs died of heat exhaustion after the air conditioning failed in a shed where the dogs were housed? Probably not! But that would leave as the least loathsome character Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, so … [BRAINS EXPLODE]. Read more on Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?…
  Would You Like Breadsticks With Your Class War?

Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!

No extra compensation for the shitty pizza
Here’s some Nice Time/Justice Done news for all you fans of class warfare: A Papa John’s pizza franchise in New York has been ordered to pay almost $800,000 in back pay to workers it cheated out of wages. The court found that for more than six years, the franchisee “Emstar Pizza Inc,” which operates seven restaurants, rounded each employee’s hours down to the nearest full hour, cheating hundreds of employees out of their full pay, as well as underreporting hours worked and not paying overtime. Let’s hear it for the job creators, who deserve a tax cut for all the hard work they put into earning profits, huh? You don’t just come up with scams like that by being lazy. The owner of the franchise, Emmanuel Onuaguluchi tried unsuccessfully to escape previous court orders on back pay by attempting to sell the franchise. Read more on Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!…
  Fox To Call For French Tort Reform

Paris To Fox News: See You In Court For Being Lying Liars

Terrifying real news that's verified... to be fake
Now that Fox News has admitted it completely made up a series of stories about supposed “no go zones” in France and England — districts where the police and other officials supposedly leave local Muslims to run things on their own and create little islands of Sharia where no non-Muslim dare enter — the mayor of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, says she’s planning to sue Fox News for lying about Her Fair City: Read more on Paris To Fox News: See You In Court For Being Lying Liars…
  And Lawyers Are Like Pipe Bombs Or Something

California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win

Don't mind me. Just sitting in. Hey, kids, want some loaves and fishes? I have extra
The school board of Chino, California, is being sued by the mean old Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) just because it likes to open its meetings with a few prayers to Jesus. Plus some proselytizing during board meetings, and, OK, offering Bible classes taught with materials from a church, too. Members of the board are pretty sure they’re just doing what George Washington and Jesus want, which is to make sue that God isn’t excluded from public life. At a meeting last week, during which the board voted to seek an attorney to volunteer to defend the case, one board member compared the lawsuit to the recent terrorist attacks in France, because of course the First Amendment is a lot like an automatic rifle. Read more on California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)

Religious right hypocrisy: not a crime. Illegal lobbying? Oh, yeah.
A goodly chunk of the Rachel Maddow Show Thursday was devoted to an exclusive story on the John Ensign sex scandal and its fallout, much of which had been hidden away in Justice Department records. You see, Ensign, Nevada’s “other” Senator until his abrupt resignation in 2011, wasn’t merely a family-values horndog who was sexing a staffer. His lover’s husband, Doug Hampton, was also an Ensign staffer, and once the affair ended in 2009, Ensign tried to make things better by getting Hampton a job as a lobbyist — which violated federal laws. Guess which one of the two ended up getting prosecuted for that? Hint: It was not the disgraced Senator, who now plies his trade as a veterinarian in Las Vegas. Hampton pleaded guilty, and Ensign went back to giving shots to poodles. Read more on Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)…
  Two Live Crude

Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)

You now have the Narwhal Song going through your head. You are welcome.
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of Oil Spills, Oil Drilling, Oil Corruption, and Pathetic Compensation Offers From Oil Companies. Here’s a sort-of Nice Time story. Royal Dutch Shell, the international giant that makes life better all over the world by keeping us safe from marauding polar bears and painful sunburns that might result from going to clean beaches, has agreed to pay out £55 million (about $83.5 million) to a Nigerian fishing community that it pretty much made uninhabitable with two huge oil spills in 2008: Read more on Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)…
  Secrets And Lies

Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks

We concur. Lightly salted rat dicks are called for in this case
You may find this very hard to believe, but it looks like we haven’t heard the final word on the grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson in the killing of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. Even though Sean Hannity and the rest of the Fox “News” legal team told us that Darren Wilson had been proven innocent by a flawless grand jury process! Read more on Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks…
  It's A Dicktember Miracle!

Inconceivably, Ducky-Pajamas-Wearing Texas Congressman Has Been Accused Of Sexual Harrassment

Like THIS GUY would ever be nasty? Nahhh
Texas Congresscritter Blake Farenthold is a real peach. He was elected to the House in 2010, flirted with birtherism,, explained that Ebola was probably going to kill us all because that’s how it works in zombie movies, and has frequently suggested that Congress could totally impeach Barack Obama for a million things (but good luck getting a conviction, because liberals still exist in the Senate). And now, if you can believe it, the super-douchey Farenthold has been
  Serious Empty Gestures Say The Most

Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents

It was this or a hastily-shopped picture of Air Force One up on cinder blocks.
You may find this hard to believe, but not every Republican member of the House of Representatives thinks John Boehner’s Obama Sucks Act of 2014 is quite tough enough on Ineffectual Kenyan Usurper Weak Socialist Tyrant King Barack Hussein Obama. Instead of just passing a bill invalidating his recent executive action on immigration — which would just get vetoed anyway — some of Obama’s more strident teabagger critics want to vote for far stricter measures that would also just get vetoed, but would Send A Message. Read more on Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents…
  Unimpeachable Logic

House Finally (FINALLY) Sues Obama, For Doing Thing House Wanted Obama To Do

Almost sure that's not in Beckett
In a master stroke of timing, the House of Representatives has finally filed that big lawsuit against Barack Obama for his tyrannical actions in using executive orders as if he were some kind of president or something. As you recall, we thought it was dead, only, like Snake Plisskin, it turns out it had just vanished for a while, and then the House finally found a lawyer willing to take the case (who wasn’t Larry Klayman, even), because separation of powers — and now it is ON, Barry. You’ll be lucky if you can Escape From DC! Read more on House Finally (FINALLY) Sues Obama, For Doing Thing House Wanted Obama To Do…
  Joe Arpaio Me Oh My Oh

America’s Toughest Sheriff And Dumbest Lawyer Team Up To Sue Obama

A legitimate lawman extends his pinkie when showing his badge. Like Scud the Disposable Assassin would
In what promises to be a Very Important Legal Challenge to an out of control dictator, serial publicity whore Joe Arpaio, who’d rather play Border Patrol than enforce boring laws about robbery and sexual assault and stuff, has teamed up with failed revolutionary and terrible lawyer Larry Klayman to file a lawsuit against Barack Obama and his completely unconstitutional executive order on immigration. It may very well be the nation’s last best hope at preserving liberty, unless of course it gets thrown out by some biased Jewish judge. Or a mean lady judge. Read more on America’s Toughest Sheriff And Dumbest Lawyer Team Up To Sue Obama…
  Countdown To Imspeechment

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

Real wrath of God type stuff
We hear that the president’s giving a speech tonight — not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it — and while the full details of the executive action aren’t out yet, Republicans know it’s pretty bad. Here are just a few of the Psychic Predictions of disaster they’re floating: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech…
  Lapdances So Much Better When Strippers Have Living Wage

Strip Clubs Have To Pay Strippers, Unfair To Strip Clubs!

Still trying to wrap our heads around the 'George' thing.
Big labor news: Turns out that strip clubs can’t actually operate on the same principles as 19th century coal mines. A class action lawsuit against New York strip club Rick’s Cabaret awarded over $10 million in back pay to about 1,900 dancers the club had treated as “independent contractors.” Instead of paying wages to the dancers, the club actually charged them a fee for the use of its stage and private lapdanceatoria, according to the dancers’ attorney, E. Michelle Drake: Read more on Strip Clubs Have To Pay Strippers, Unfair To Strip Clubs!…
  'Invisible Man' Wasn't An Instruction Book

We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote

Or maybe you just don't exist. Can you prove it?
Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state take immediate action to process those missing voters. Judge Christopher Brasher of the Fulton County Superior Court ruled against a claim by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights, which said that tens of thousands of properly submitted registrations had not been processed. Brasher’s reasoning appears to be that there simply aren’t any missing voters, because Georgia’s attorney general says that the state and counties have processed all the applications they received. Why should the state go out of its way for applications that it’s quite certain don’t exist anyway? Those tens of thousands of Georgians who say they submitted their paperwork but haven’t received registration cards are probably just attention-seekers, we bet. Here are some, seeking attention right now: Read more on We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote…
  Just Look At All The Puppies He *Didn't* Kick

Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low.

Michelle Nunn has a pretty good 'You gotta be freakin kidding me' face
David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices, Georgia is very, very close to sending Nunn to the Senate, and Perdue didn’t exactly close the gender gap with his performance in Sunday’s debate with Nunn. You see, while Perdue was CEO of discount chain store Dollar General, the company was sued for discrimination by a couple thousand women who worked in management positions at the company. But come on, said Perdue at the debate, that’s all in the past, and besides, is “2000” really that many women suing for discrimination? Heck, just think of all the employees who weren’t managers or women, or women managers that didn’t sue! Read more on Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low….
  you don't say

Oops! House Republicans Forgot To Sue Obama For Presidenting

Which one is Boehner?
If you are anything like us, you have recently been wondering what happened to the plan by the House’s Rabid Ferret Caucus to sue the bejesus out of President Obama for moving around some deadlines to implement parts of the Affordable Care Act. (And if you are like us and have been wondering that, try to get out more.) Read more on Oops! House Republicans Forgot To Sue Obama For Presidenting…
  sext machine

National Review Online Really Wants To Read Eric Holder Word-Sexing His Wife

Portrait of a man looking forward to a nice university president job
Eric Holder, who is kind of a jerk sometimes and is pretty great other times, is in some sort of lawsuit or something because Fast & Furious Ebolagate Solyndraghazi. But did you know he has claimed he shouldn’t have to turn over in discovery some emails he sent to his wife? National Review Online knows, and they are all like “we will parse this legal mumbo jumbo and wonder what kind of exemption from discovery he could possibly be claiming, blah blah blah lawyer thing, we’re boring.” Read more on National Review Online Really Wants To Read Eric Holder Word-Sexing His Wife…
  Big Swinging Brass Baseballs

New York Mets Allegedly Fire Lady Exec For Forming Babby Out Of Wedlock

I need no permission
A former executive for the New York Baseball Mets is suing Mets COO Jeff Wilpon for ALLEGEDLY firing her because she got preggers out of wedlock. Leigh Castergine was the head of the Mets’ ticket sales office, and she was doing the absolute best she could considering that the Mets play terrible baseball at a terrible park in a terrible part of Queens. Casterigne performed her duties while with child, and her lawsuit alleges that Wilpon harassed and humiliated her for failing to lasso herself a man before producing her bastard offspring. Newsday brings us this blockquote. Read more on New York Mets Allegedly Fire Lady Exec For Forming Babby Out Of Wedlock…
  Libel Libel!

Smug Jerkface Stacey Campfield Might Go To Libel Jail After All

Buh bye now. Buh bye.
Oh, golly, outgoing Wonkette Legislative Shitmuffin of 2013 Stacey Campfield. You are not having a good past couple months, are you? First you lost your primary election by a whopping THIRTY-NINE POINTS — seriously, what incumbent Tennessee Republican loses a primary? — and now, having to face a future where you can no longer introduce petty legislation to harass gay kids or cut food assistance for poors if their kids don’t do well in school, you’re going to have to get by in the Private Sector, where… aw, who are we kidding? You’re in Tennessee. You’ll be fine, you asshole. But at least you may have to actually have to face some consequences for just cold lying about a political opponent. We are so pleased with this development that we’ll even drop this annoying second-person pretense. Read more on Smug Jerkface Stacey Campfield Might Go To Libel Jail After All…
  Black Until Proven Innocent

Michael Brown: Non-Felonious Monster, Still Needed To Die

Pet Shop Boys have the answer
As any fool knows, it’s vitally important to know whether Michael Brown’s death was justified by anything he ever did long before Officer Darren Wilson told him to stop walking in the middle of the street, which is why, in the name of Justice, America absolutely needs to have his juvenile court records released. And so today, in a hearing on the St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s request for the release of Brown’s records, court officials said that Brown had no Class A or Class B felony convictions in juvenile court and was not the subject of any active cases when he died: Read more on Michael Brown: Non-Felonious Monster, Still Needed To Die…