lawsuit
Bankers Might Have to Cough Up Tip Money In Exchange For Ruining The Economy, Our Lives
Good news everyone! No one is finally going to jail for ruining the entire economy, and many of your lives, and the lives of your children. But! Someone or someone might have to pay a fine as punishment, so at least that’s something, right?
Jury: KBR Caused Troops’ Cancer; KBR: Pay Up, America!
A guest post from your comrade “Glasspusher.” Remember when liberals had Dick Cheney’s Halliburton to be OUTRAGED about, like common wingnuts have a black president? Well, jump in your time machine and set it for “2002,” because Halliburton and its subsidiary, KBR, are whispering your name from across space and time! Yes, now we find [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Things In New SEC Lawsuit That Are More Hilarious Than Its Sex Triangle
Oh goody, another day, another set of government officials involved in a sex scandal. Rolling Stone brings us the ewww tale of SEC Inspector General David Kotz (ALLEGEDLY) boning every lawyer (like this pretty lady) with business before the agency, as well as his successor, Noelle Maloney, who then refused to meet with said lawyers because [...]
Totally Not Gay Andrew Shirvell Ordered To Pay $4.5 Million For Heterosexually Stalking Gay College Student
Lispy former Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell, who is absolutely not gay, will have to pay $4.5 million in damages just because he stalked, harassed, and obsessively chronicled the private life of former University of Michigan student body president Chris Armstrong (Gay-Go Blue!). Naturally, he plans to appeal the verdict. Shirvell isn’t going to just [...]
Elite School For Disadvantaged Children Reverses Course, Will Let In Student With AIDS (AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS)
Oh is it Tuesday Nice Time already? Then it is time to have a story about someone NOT being AWFUL! (With a little “guidance” from the Justice Department.) And that is why you are about to read about a 13-year-old boy who is being admitted to the elite Milton Hershey School (yes, funded by the [...]
How Could They Cram So Much Racism And Sexism Into Just One Lawsuit Against Paula Deen?
It seems — it is possible — that diabeetus queen Paul Deen is perhaps and maybe not the nice lady she pretends to be on her television program, “Cooking Hot Garbage With Paula Deen.” Lisa Jackson is a woman who worked as a restaurant manager for Deen for so many years, turning around a failing [...]
Romney Firm Too Busy Firing People For Not Being Mormon To Create Those Jobs He Keeps Talking About
What kind of underwear do you have on? Are they magical? No? Outta here! Bain Capital, a job creating powerhouse established by America’s number one job creator Mitt Romney, is being sued by a group of people that claim they were fired for not being part of the Mormon church (LDS). This rogue group of [...]
Why Is ‘The Bachelor’ Racist Against Hot Black Football Players?
Oh, guess we sort of answered our own question there, duh, it is because they are black! Christopher Johnson and Nathaniel Claybrooks are two hot black guys who are also football players, and they wanted to be on television but they never got chosen for the wildly popular television program “Bachelor Wives” because of blackness [...]
Al Gore And Keith Olbermann Now In Battle Of Snaps, Yo Mama Jokes
What is this, unfolding before our delighted eyes? It is a SNAP. First Current TV totes fired Keith Olbermann for (ALLEGEDLY) being a glass-chucking work-shirking screamy freakout monster. Then Olbermann went on Letterman, called himself a “$10 million chandelier” (?) and sued Current and its execs for being “dilettantes” and playing make-believe, which are not [...]
Ted Kennedy’s Week of Books, Love Children and Lawsuits!
CBS Files Motion to Dimiss Dan Rather’s Bizarre, Mystifying Lawsuit
Federal Lawsuit Over Sharapova’s Assets
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