Tag: laws

Let’s Go Spit All Over Minneapolis, Because It’s Legal Now!

A dozen members of the Minneapolis city council voted Friday to repeal century-old laws against lurking and spitting, leaving the city's population dangerously vulnerable to train-jumpers and tuberculosis carriers. Critics of the laws cited a damning ACLU report that showed they were disproportionately...

Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal

The United States House of Representatives, man, what a place. When they’re not quoting the Bible to piss on climate change or trying to gut Social Security or voting for the 407th time to REPEAL OBAMACARE or fellating their...

Utah State Rep: We Need More Divorce School Because My Friends Are ‘Surprised’ When Wives Leave Them

What is a divorce? It’s when you mix gin and chocolate milk in a rubber glove. Everyone knows that! But did you know that when you “divorce” your spouse, you aren’t married anymore? You would, if you had gone...

House GOP Already Failing According To New Standard John Boehner Just Made Up

"How is John Boehner helping House Republicans ruin the government today, along with my access to health care and possibly my ability to put food on my family?" you might be wondering. The answer is, of course, "Same as yesterday,...

Ocean Infested By Undocumented Sea Monsters (Illegals)

The liberals are going to poop all over Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission by making WordPress weblogs illegal. Makes sense and very sneaky! The president of Brazil (Hugo Chavez) has been hanging out with the unfashionable Moscow/Tehran crowd,...

CREDIT CARD BILL AWAITS NOBAMA: "The House today gave final approval to a bill that would prohibit credit card companies from arbritarily raising interest rates on existing balances and charging certain fees. With a 367-61 vote, the House ensured...

OBAMA SIGNS A LAW!: Your president, Barack Obama, signed his first bill into a law today, just like you read about in the textbooks! And it was the famous Lilly Ledbetter Act that will make it easier for employees...