Tag Archives: laws

 

Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal

The United States House of Representatives, man, what a place. When they’re not quoting the Bible to piss on climate change or trying to gut Social Security or voting for the 407th time to REPEAL OBAMACARE or fellating their corporate benefactors or holding their collective breath until the usurper resigns in disgrace or gets tried for treason, whichever, they’re voting to make already-illegal taxpayer-funded abortions even more super-duper illegal, because they really, really want all you ambulating vaginas out there to get to babymakin’, for God and country. Read more on Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal…
  seems reasonable

Utah State Rep: We Need More Divorce School Because My Friends Are ‘Surprised’ When Wives Leave Them

What is a divorce? It’s when you mix gin and chocolate milk in a rubber glove. Everyone knows that! But did you know that when you “divorce” your spouse, you aren’t married anymore? You would, if you had gone to divorce school. Your divorce education is so important, in fact, that Utah mandates a divorce class for anyone who wants to obtain the state’s blessing to not be married anymore. But is that really enough? No, says Utah State Rep. Jim Nielson, who thinks that not only should you have to go to divorce school if you want a divorce, but you should have to go, like, right this instant! And pay attention! That will fix the divorces, thinks Jim. He’s also pretty sure that it’s mostly women who are getting these divorces, based on “anecdotal information,” which is defined as “information upon which it is appropriate to base laws in Utah.” Read more on Utah State Rep: We Need More Divorce School Because My Friends Are ‘Surprised’ When Wives Leave Them…
  wake up sheeple

House GOP Already Failing According To New Standard John Boehner Just Made Up

“How is John Boehner helping House Republicans ruin the government today, along with my access to health care and possibly my ability to put food on my family?” you might be wondering. The answer is, of course, “Same as yesterday, mostly, only now he is speaking openly about it on Sunday yap shows”:  House Speaker John Boehner says Congress “ought to be judged on how many laws we repeal” [because] the U.S. has “more laws than the administration could ever enforce.” An excellent idea from a man who could not pass his ass with both hands!..Or IS it? Would Boehner benefit from such a bizarre metric? The answer is no, he would not. For the purposes of critical analysis, we evaluated how the House is doing so far this year based on how many bills they repealed, and were not terribly shocked to learn that they are not doing too well! Behold, the tally of laws they have tried and failed to repeal: Read more on House GOP Already Failing According To New Standard John Boehner Just Made Up…
  rumors on the internets

Ocean Infested By Undocumented Sea Monsters (Illegals)

The liberals are going to poop all over Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission by making WordPress weblogs illegal. Makes sense and very sneaky! [RedState] The president of Brazil (Hugo Chavez) has been hanging out with the unfashionable Moscow/Tehran crowd, and you know what that means! Yes, Brazil has the Bomb and also probably the Earthquake Machine. [Weekly Standard] Read more on Ocean Infested By Undocumented Sea Monsters (Illegals)…
  new socialisms

CREDIT CARD BILL AWAITS NOBAMA: “The House today gave final approval to a bill that would prohibit credit card companies from arbritarily raising interest rates on existing balances and charging certain fees. With a 367-61 vote, the House ensured that President Obama will be able to sign the bill into law by Memorial Day, as he requested.” What is wrong with Congress, making such quick work of an overwhelmingly popular bill? [Washington Post] Read more on …
  more money for everyone

OBAMA SIGNS A LAW!: Your president, Barack Obama, signed his first bill into a law today, just like you read about in the textbooks! And it was the famous Lilly Ledbetter Act that will make it easier for employees to sue for wage discrimination. This has been a major women’s rights cause for some time, and now it’s passed, and we are waiting to see the reactions here and here, which seem a bit tardy. [Dow Jones/CNN] Read more on …
 

Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles

With hot-button issues like immigration, the environment, and the failing real estate market crowding the “national conversation” these days, it’s nice to see a few ballsy Floridians with the cojones to take on important issues like fake testicles, and how some tasteless individuals like to dangle them from trucks. The brave Florida state Senate passed an amendment to a transportation bill that would levy a $60 fine against anyone with TruckNutz or generic-made fake testicles dangling from their rear bumpers. Read more on Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles…