Tag Archives: law and order

  Must Be A Day Ending In Y

Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)

David Brooks Is Wrong
Sometimes David Brooks says things that are true or correct. However, this does not occur in the above clip from Meet the Press, a popular television fiasco. Not even once! Can we divide David Brooks’ clump of TV words into complete sentences and explain why each of them is wrong? We can. Read more on Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)…
  media circus

Sean Hannity Does Not Care For Jon Stewart’s Unseemly Criticism Of Sean Hannity

Professional Conservative Victim Sean Hannity shared his tears with the nation Tuesday night, carefully debunking Jon Stewart’s satirical commentary on Hannity’s coverage of the Great Cow Freedom Movement. You see, Jon Stewart is a “hack comedian” who is among the “chief apologists for the Obama administration.” In a prolonged rant and panel discussion that lasts a couple minutes longer than Stewart’s full segment on Bundy (of which four minutes were about Hannity), the Fox News host gets super-even with Stewart, conveniently editing out Stewart’s main point, which is that Cow Hero Cliven Bundy is exactly the kind of moocher who wants something for free, and who wants to pick and choose what laws to obey, that Sean Hannity usually likes to mock. The true takeaway, of course, says Hannity, is that John Stewart is “kind of obsessed” with Sean Hannity. Oh, Sean, we don’t know how to break it to you, but honey, Jon Stewart is obsessed with idiots in the media, and you are just one of many, dear. Read more on Sean Hannity Does Not Care For Jon Stewart’s Unseemly Criticism Of Sean Hannity…
  law and ordure

Arizona Tea Party Lady Shocked By Parallels Between Bundy Ranch, Tiananmen Square

Today’s winner of the “At Least You Didn’t Say Hitler” award goes to Arizona state Rep. Kelly Townsend, who said she was shocked to see video of police using a stun gun on one of the sons of Hero Nevada Scofflaw Cliven Bundy. How upsetting was the video, exactly? “Watching that video last night created a visceral reaction in me,” Townsend told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “It sounds dramatic, but it reminded me of Tiananmen Square. I don’t recognize my country at this point.” She apparently doesn’t recognize China, either, where in 1989 People’s Liberation Army troops killed hundreds of peaceful protestors, possibly upwards of 1,000, depending on whose estimates you use. But apart from that, yes, the stunning of one guy and the seizure of a couple hundred cattle is almost exactly the same. Once again, however, we do wish to congratulate Ms. Townsend on not comparing the action to the Nazis. Read more on Arizona Tea Party Lady Shocked By Parallels Between Bundy Ranch, Tiananmen Square…
  you try being funny about this

Du Pont Heir Did Not Go To Prison For Sexually Assaulting His Babies Because Prison Is Hard On Rich People

So we were thinking this HuffPo article could not possibly be real, because this is the sort of shit that only happens on teevee when there was always one of the terrible caricatures of “liberal judges” on “Law and Order,” but unless Delaware now has its own not funny super depressing version of The Onion, this shit totally happened: super rich du Pont heir dude Robert H. Richards IV did not see one minute of jail time for sexually assaulting an infant, because he wouldn’t fare well in prison. The light sentence was hush hush for several years, but has just come to light in a lawsuit filed by Richards’s ex-wife. In related news, everything is awful. Read more on Du Pont Heir Did Not Go To Prison For Sexually Assaulting His Babies Because Prison Is Hard On Rich People…
  jail is for democrats

Bankers, Please Feel Free To Stab Any Cab Driver You Wish

When we were a little kid and someone asked us the inevitable “what do you want to be when you grow up?” we usually said something like “a movie star!” But in retrospect, we probably should have said “gainfully employed,” or, in the event that we were aiming super high, “a banker!” because bankers appear to have one of the best gigs on earth: it’s gravy all day long, what with all the taxpayer bailouts and Cayman Islands bank accounts, and, as we’ve just learned, bankers can even get away with mundane crimes like stabbing ethnic cab drivers. Read more on Bankers, Please Feel Free To Stab Any Cab Driver You Wish…
  fuck tha police

Law-And-Order Republicans In Indiana Now Let You Stand Your Ground Against Cops

So here is what we are having a hard time wrapping our puny girly brains around: we remember, due to oldness, when the NRA lobbied to keep Kevlar-piercing bullets legal (for those Kevlar-vested deer), but when did Ted Nugent and pals come to so wholly outrank sensible Establishment Republicans as to get cop-killing legalized? Was it when cops became just another Wisconsin Thug union, along with 9/11 Heroes (firemen) and teachers (teachers)? We will say sure, yes, Wisconsin. And now Mitch Daniels, Indiana governor, has signed a law allowing people to shoot cops who bust into their homes we are not even kidding that is not even a hoax. It is unpossible that anything could go wrong. Read more on Law-And-Order Republicans In Indiana Now Let You Stand Your Ground Against Cops…
 

Thompson To Save Economy With ‘Law & Order’ Joke

Fred Thompson was asked today what he would do with the economy. Instead of making a real answer, he said something about Law & Order on TNT. When pressed for a real answer, he said economic stimulus plans sound “boring.” Oh shucksy humdinger, that ole Dipshit McGoo sure knows how to tickle the underbelly. He can get away with such things, however, given his reputation as the smartest, least lazy presidential candidate in American history. Read more on Thompson To Save Economy With ‘Law & Order’ Joke…
 

Four Losers Show Up At Fred Thompson Event

Exactly four local losers showed up at a Salt Lake City GOP party to celebrate Hollywood Fred Thompson’s webcam announcement that he’s running for president yesterday — and there were snacks set up for so many more “Fredheads.” Read more on Four Losers Show Up At Fred Thompson Event…
 

Gossip Roundup: ‘Flying High’

* Reliable Source: Fox News will not stage a party after the Radio & Television Correspondents Association Dinner. . . White House to host small “social dinner” tomorrow night to celebrate Ben Franklin‘s 300th birthday. [WP] * Under the Dome: “Law & Order” plot line strikes the GOP the wrong way. . . Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.) and Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) seek temporary memorial in the Capitol Rotunda for soldiers killed in Iraq. [The Hill] * Page Six: New book claims that Laura Bush took “hormone adjustment” to conceive twins. . . Blind item asks, “Which political reporter attends so-called ‘circuit parties’ while flying high on ecstasy?” [NYP] * Inside the Beltway: Ben Bradlee is visiting the South Pacific for The New Yorker. . . PETA wants Antonin Scalia to stop killing fish. [WT] * Rush & Molloy: Giuliani hits the ground in Iowa. . . Photos of Pataki‘s daughter downing tequila land on the Internet. [NYDN] Read more on Gossip Roundup: ‘Flying High’…