Tag Archives: lauri apple

  wonkette human resources

Introducing Lauri Apple, Several Months After She Arrived!

Wonkette contributing editor Lauri Apple started blogging for us two months ago, but her art has been seen here since before Barry Hussein Nobama even became the socialist president. What is going on? We will find out. Read more on Introducing Lauri Apple, Several Months After She Arrived!…
  oh yeah her

Teabaggers Are Racist Against Orly Taitz

Important news about old what’s-her-name, America’s Dentist: “Lawyer Orly Taitz has been told she won’t be allowed to speak at a Tea Party tax day rally in Pleasanton on Thursday because other candidates planning to be on the platform basically don’t want to be seen with her.” Why not? She’s great at old sex, which is the whole point of the tea party. (That and LYNCHING.) Read more on Teabaggers Are Racist Against Orly Taitz…
  sacks of pulitzers

Obama Betrays America’s First Amendment Free Press For ‘Soccer Game’

So now Barack Obama thinks he can just lose the White House press corps whenever he feels like it, because he “needs his space” or “wants some uninterrupted family time” or whatever. This guy is not a patriotic real American, with his hatred of our nation’s most cherished traditions and his unseemly love for the Mexican sport called “soccer.” Read more on Obama Betrays America’s First Amendment Free Press For ‘Soccer Game’…
  op-art with lauri apple

Tom Coburn Is Just a Sad Lesbian Cat Lady Now

Poor old Tom Coburn was a wingnut proto-teabagger Republican Hero until the other day, when he went INSANE and told a crowd of morons they should maybe not be so hateful and personal about politics, when reasonable people can disagree, etc., and Nancy Pelosi is actually a “nice lady.” Wonkette op-art contributor Lauri Apple takes Coburn’s transformation to its only logical conclusion, and you must see it. Read more on Tom Coburn Is Just a Sad Lesbian Cat Lady Now…
  political art violence

LAURI APPLE IS FAMOUS IN THE NEW YORK TIMES: Famous Chicago artist and Wonkette contributor Lauri Apple has a crazy art show coming up in Chicago, which, according to the NYT, may provoke “mass hysteria, a police presence and flaming piles of artwork.” [New York Times] Read more on …
  there's nothing about harry

Harry Reid’s Yoga Pants Have No Negro Dialect

Did you read the big New York Times Magazine thing about Harry Reid? Neither did we! But artistic contributor Lauri Apple claims to have at least skimmed the 58,000-word feature, which apparently revealed that the 70-year-old Nevada senator wears black (African-American?) yoga pants and Grateful Dead t-shirts. Gross. Also, from another article altogether — about how Reid has a 52% unfavorable rating in his home state, and has three no-name teabaggers ahead of him in the polls for whenever he’s up for re-election — we learned that the scene in Casino where the mobster is getting the what-for from that Gaming Commission guy, well the Gaming Commission guy was really Harry Reid! (We don’t remember that scene, either.) [NYT Magazine] Read more on Harry Reid’s Yoga Pants Have No Negro Dialect…
  war on xmas emergency gift

Tom Friedman Talking Doll Won’t Stop Talking!

Wonkette artistic contributor (and Chicago Reader staffer, yay!) Lauri Apple has a special War On Xmas Eve present to bless all of you, everyone: It’s the Talking Thomas Friedman Doll, direct from a business-class flight from some exotic foreign destination with Pizza Huts and golf courses! He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try to eat him! Read more on Tom Friedman Talking Doll Won’t Stop Talking!…
  smells like freedom

Jesus Is Wearing a Snuggie and Eating Nachos From a Freedom Tray

The Freedom Tray is America’s Favorite New War On Xmas Fad! Wonkette artistic contributor Lauri Apple made this beautiful representation of Jesus himself enjoying all the fruits of Amerikkka, in His own Laz-E-Boy porta potty. And legitimate newspaper the News-Observer has published a lovely history of the Freedom Tray, which was created by a team of nuclear physicists at Raleigh’s Research Triangle. The article features a discourse on ironic and un-ironic War On Xmas gifts, with quotes from your Wonkette editor. [News-Observer] Read more on Jesus Is Wearing a Snuggie and Eating Nachos From a Freedom Tray…
  op-art by lauri apple

What Will Levi Johnston Use To Hide His Schlong?

Our little Levi Johnston is known for one thing, and that’s putting his wang into Sarah Palin’s teen-aged daughter’s hoohah. AND YET … his Playgirl pictorial will be ruined by some type of duck blind over his ding-dong. But what will cover Wasilla’s most infamous working-class wiener? Our op-art specialist Lauri Apple has many suggestions. Read more on What Will Levi Johnston Use To Hide His Schlong?…
  op-art by lauri apple

Who Groped David Brooks?

Even though we attended The Week‘s Opinion Awards with David Brooks a few months back and very much looked forward to making pleasant conversation with him over the lobster thermidor, we got stuck in the back with some old gents who did not believe anybody could blog “for a living.” But if we had sat next to David Brooks, we probably would have laid a hand on his juicy amber thigh — so who can blame whatever Republican senator it was that did this thing once? Read more on Who Groped David Brooks?…
  op-art

Lil’ Kim Jong-Il Bombs Internet Because He Loves Show Biz

Oh hey did you hear crazy dwarf-alien Kim Jong-Il has been shooting rockets into the sea, by North Korea? No? ARE YOU SILLY AMERICANS SO OBSESSED WITH THE DEATH OF KING-POP MICHAEL JACKSON AS TO NOT FOLLOW NORTH KOREA’S MIGHTY THREATS? Well, Lil’ Kim wants you to know he is twice as weird as Wacko Jacko, with the additional freaky habits of kidnapping regional movie stars and starving his people, because why not, right? Dwarf motherfucker got to have his Cristal & ‘hos. Read more on Lil’ Kim Jong-Il Bombs Internet Because He Loves Show Biz…
  op-art by lauri apple

Collect All Six Sarah Palin Regrets!

Good news for the Political Arts: Our Chicago pal Lauri Apple is now officially Wonkette’s op-art artist-contributor of Fine Political Arts! And here is her delightful chart of Sarah Palin’s many, many half-dozen regrets in life. Click for the full-size version, and say hi to Lauri. Read more on Collect All Six Sarah Palin Regrets!…
  weekend thread

Farewell, David Souter, and Thanks For Hating Washington!

David Souter, the “stealth yankee” who drove wingnuts crazy with his plain old New England Republican common-sense decisions, is finally leaving the town he hated for the entire two decades he spent working at the Supreme Court. And now he is free, thanks to Barack Obama, the Dream-Maker. Let’s celebrate with this latest political art from our favorite Chicago street organizer, Lauri Apple. Good-bye, Justice Souter! Enjoy whatever it is one does in New Hampshire forever. Read more on Farewell, David Souter, and Thanks For Hating Washington!…
  can't judge a book by lookin' at the cover

Blago’s Book Sure To Be Bestseller

There is only one way we’re buying Rod Blagojevich’s sure-to-be-shitty “inside story” about how he’s an “incompetent crook” and “washed-up circus clown” — and that’s if Chicago’s Lauri Apple actually provides the cover art. And the “book” is not actually written by Rod Blagojevich, and is also not about him at all. The back cover needs to be the famous “I CAN PARACHUTE ME THERE” illustration, the end. [Chicagoist/TrendPiece] Read more on Blago’s Book Sure To Be Bestseller…
  artistic feats with magic marker

Iconic Image Of Roland Burris Found In Chicago

Lauri Apple! She’s that artist who did the wonderful picture of Rod Blagojevich parachuting himself there! Now she has produced a little drawing of Roland Burris, which is great, because we were getting sick of using the old video capture and the mausoleum shot all the time. [Chicagoist] Read more on Iconic Image Of Roland Burris Found In Chicago…