Tag Archives: laura ingraham

  A noun a verb and Hewlett-Packard

Carly Fiorina Gets Lady Quota Affirmative Actioned Into Next Republican Debate

It's not because she's a woman, everybody just wants to see the demon sheep again.
It’s not because she’s a woman, it’s because of that Demon Sheep look in her eyes. Remember how Carly Fiorina has been complaining all the time, like every day, except for how she is SO NOT COMPLAINING (she’s been complaining), that CNN has some sort of lame “rules” about who gets to stand under Donald Trump’s armpits at the next debate? Well, all that complaining has paid off, because CNN decided to change the rules, JUST FOR HER, AWWWWWWW: Read more on Carly Fiorina Gets Lady Quota Affirmative Actioned Into Next Republican Debate…
  Americans actually wake up to these people

Fox & Friends Confused Which Toys Have A Penis And Which Have A Vagina

What Brian Kilmeade looks like shopping for toys.
It is a day, which means there is a news story that is evidence of the PC police gone whackadoodly, and the adult daycare couch of “Fox & Friends” is exhibiting signs of confusion. The culprit: Target. How is Target making the Fox hosts confused and sad and scared? By removing gender-based labeling on children’s toys.  Read more on Fox & Friends Confused Which Toys Have A Penis And Which Have A Vagina…
  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.
Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied the pictures. Most people said things like “Wow, she looks beautiful!” and “Good for her!” and, in the case of badass trans actress Laverne Cox, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” (Cox also said many other important things, read it.) Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts…
  never gonna be as smart as his brother

Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq

Is me the president I have been waiting for?
Jeb Bush sat down for a Fox News interview with Megyn Kelly that aired Monday, to talk about how much he wants to do presidenting, because his big brother (George W. Bush) got to do it and his dad got to do it, and he wants to be just like them. Kelly asked a completely straightforward very misleading question about the Iraq War his bro instigated: “Knowing what we know now, would you have authorized the invasion?” Either the baby Bush didn’t hear FULLY HALF OF THE VERY SIMPLE QUESTION, or he is a real big stupidhead, because this was his answer: Read more on Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq…
  Criming While White

Rand Paul Knows Baltimore Thugs Just Need Good Dads, Like His Drunk, Criming, Jerk Son Has

Be like this, Baltimore!
Sen. Rand Paul is A Expert on many things, like racial tension, and morality, and parenting, and why cops kill black people sometimes (because of high taxes, duh), and, like, other stuff too. So of course we are all eager to hear his Hot Takes on the mysterious death of Freddie Gray, whose spinal cord somehow got broken while in the custody of the Baltimore police, and the riots and violence and destruction that has occurred in the city over the past few days. Splain it at us, Senator, preferably with a fellow expert on everything like radio wingnut and soon-to-be publisher of her own “news” site LifeZette, Laura Ingraham: Read more on Rand Paul Knows Baltimore Thugs Just Need Good Dads, Like His Drunk, Criming, Jerk Son Has…
  Here have some news n stuff

Confused Republican Senator Continues To Insist He’s President of America

Now you listen here Mister Sassy Iranian Foreign Minister!
A certain newbie senator is still running his mouth off about how he is not going to allow the president to act in his authority as president because he’s suffering the delusion that “freshman senator” is the most powerful gig in government: Read more on Confused Republican Senator Continues To Insist He’s President of America…
  Thanks Obama AND feminists

Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously

At least we can all agree she isn't the best
Photo by Gage Skidmore The White House has had a number of security problems recently — namely, that there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of security. One could argue that maybe the Secret Service is too busy banging Colombian hookers on the job. But White House Security Expert Laura Ingraham (R-Fox News), who used to work at the White House one time with St. Ronald Reagan, so ergo expert, knows the real reason: It is because, like football, White House security is a man’s game that has been feminized and wussified and political corrected, thanks A LOT, liberals. Read more on Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously…
  There'll Be No One Left To Blame Us

Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out

Help him!
“Help him, help him,” Bill Kristol was sobbing. “Help him, help him.” “Help who? Help who?” Yossarian called back. “Help who?” “The bombardier, the bombardier,” Kristol cried. “He doesn’t answer. Help the bombardier, help the bombardier.” Read more on Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out…
  Thugghazi

Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug

Think tank is so thinky
In times of civil unrest and racial tension and cops killing unarmed black teenagers, the number one expert you want to explain it to you is wingnut radio gum-flapper Laura Ingraham. That’s just obvious, at least if you are a Fox & Friends bobblehead: Read more on Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug…
  can't....breathe

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter

We’ve been putting off writing about this all night, not because we don’t know what to say, but because we wanted to let the anticipation build, to feel a thrill up our leg, to see starbursts, and savor that first perfect moment when we type these words: HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR LOST HIS FUCKING PRIMARY TO A TEA PARTIER OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. Read more on House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter…
  don't get her started on the smoot-hawley tariff

‘Please Stop Laughing At Laura Ingraham’ — Laura Ingraham (Video)

Fox News Sunday was trundling along in a pretty predictable discussion of U.S. American President Barack Obama’s pretty predictable West Point speech, with Laura Ingraham saying that Obama’s statement that America is strong “doesn’t even pass the straight-face test,” because duh, Barack Obama is president, and Bob Woodward saying that there really wasn’t any need for an “Obama Doctrine,” when a bit of teevee news magic happened. Or maybe it was just a cheap shot, but we LOLed. Read more on ‘Please Stop Laughing At Laura Ingraham’ — Laura Ingraham (Video)…
  our liberal media

Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News

Hissing hate module Laura Ingraham will be joining the roundtable on ABC’s This Week With George Stephanopoulos, apparently because they need someone who’s got the guts to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington by cutting off a recording of a speech by John Lewis with the sound of a gunshot. Or maybe they need someone with a keen analytical mind that recognizes the uncanny parallels between Obamacare and standing in a car rental line. Or maybe she won the spot with her witty observation that Sonia Sotomayor prefers the term “undocumented immigrants” to “illegal aliens” because, as a Puerto Rican person, Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Beats us. Maybe Stephanopoulos just wants Ingraham to wear a red dress and sing “I like to be een A-mer-ee-ca!” Read more on Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News…
  is our pundits learning?

Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor

‘Sup, Laura Ingraham? How’ve you been? Keeping busy? Cool, cool. You’ve been doing what? Being deeply confused and kind of full of racist bullshit about immigrants and Puerto Rico? Well, that’s a thing to pass the time, we guess. What idiot wind blew out of your mouth lately? The context of Ingraham’s statement was a rant about Sotomayor’s decision to refer to people in the United States without citizenship or immigration papers as “undocumented immigrants” because, in Sotomayor’s words, calling “them illegal aliens seemed . . . insulting.” After claiming that Sotomayor’s preference for one term over the other somehow reflects insufficient respect for the rule of law, Ingraham said that Justice Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Read more on Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor…
  leave the deep thoughts to chuck grassley please

Hero Laura Ingraham Uses Car Rental Line As Opportunity To Deliver Obamacare Lesson

Amoebic dysentery vector Laura Ingraham is not one bit pleased with how Barack Obama has made waits at airports longer, because it is just like waiting for a hip replacement. Never mind that most folks old enough to need a hip replacement are on Medicare, which isn’t even the Affordable Care Act, and that the ACA is not Britain’s National Health Service, or that Laura Ingraham is not a competent user of analogies. She has made one hell of a point here, in the long car rental line (THANKS OBAMA) and then tweeted the wise and clever thing she said to the car rental line so we all could receive her wise bon mot, and we salute her. It’s just like we told the woman taking our order at the coffee shop this morning, “Get used to taking orders, only you’ll be taking them from the commandant at the FEMA camp.” #Obamacare Read more on Hero Laura Ingraham Uses Car Rental Line As Opportunity To Deliver Obamacare Lesson…
  not quite at the mountaintop

Laura Ingraham Frets: Liberals Are Trying To Act Like Martin Luther King Was Some Liberal Or Something

Amoebic dysentery vector Laura Ingraham celebrated the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom yesterday by chatting with Pat Buchanan about black-on-white crime, fretting that liberals were stealing the legacy of Martin Luther King, and cutting off a recording of a speech by civil rights hero John Lewis with the sound of a gunshot. But don’t worry about that last one, it was only a joke! Ingraham was very unhappy with Saturday’s march celebrating the anniversary of the 1963 event, complaining that its goal “was to co-opt the legacy of Martin Luther King into a modern-day liberal agenda,” because as everyone knows, Martin Luther King was really a conservative Republican who gave a beautiful anti-affirmative action speech that consisted of a single line about his dream that one day people would be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. Read more on Laura Ingraham Frets: Liberals Are Trying To Act Like Martin Luther King Was Some Liberal Or Something…