Tag Archives: laura ingraham

  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.
Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied the pictures. Most people said things like “Wow, she looks beautiful!” and “Good for her!” and, in the case of badass trans actress Laverne Cox, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” (Cox also said many other important things, read it.) Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts…
  never gonna be as smart as his brother

Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq

Is me the president I have been waiting for?
Jeb Bush sat down for a Fox News interview with Megyn Kelly that aired Monday, to talk about how much he wants to do presidenting, because his big brother (George W. Bush) got to do it and his dad got to do it, and he wants to be just like them. Kelly asked a completely straightforward very misleading question about the Iraq War his bro instigated: “Knowing what we know now, would you have authorized the invasion?” Either the baby Bush didn’t hear FULLY HALF OF THE VERY SIMPLE QUESTION, or he is a real big stupidhead, because this was his answer: Read more on Jeb Bush Answer To ‘Would You Have Invaded Iraq?’ Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq…
  Criming While White

Rand Paul Knows Baltimore Thugs Just Need Good Dads, Like His Drunk, Criming, Jerk Son Has

Be like this, Baltimore!
Sen. Rand Paul is A Expert on many things, like racial tension, and morality, and parenting, and why cops kill black people sometimes (because of high taxes, duh), and, like, other stuff too. So of course we are all eager to hear his Hot Takes on the mysterious death of Freddie Gray, whose spinal cord somehow got broken while in the custody of the Baltimore police, and the riots and violence and destruction that has occurred in the city over the past few days. Splain it at us, Senator, preferably with a fellow expert on everything like radio wingnut and soon-to-be publisher of her own “news” site LifeZette, Laura Ingraham: Read more on Rand Paul Knows Baltimore Thugs Just Need Good Dads, Like His Drunk, Criming, Jerk Son Has…
  Here have some news n stuff

Confused Republican Senator Continues To Insist He’s President of America

Now you listen here Mister Sassy Iranian Foreign Minister!
A certain newbie senator is still running his mouth off about how he is not going to allow the president to act in his authority as president because he’s suffering the delusion that “freshman senator” is the most powerful gig in government: Read more on Confused Republican Senator Continues To Insist He’s President of America…
  Thanks Obama AND feminists

Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously

At least we can all agree she isn't the best
Photo by Gage Skidmore The White House has had a number of security problems recently — namely, that there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of security. One could argue that maybe the Secret Service is too busy banging Colombian hookers on the job. But White House Security Expert Laura Ingraham (R-Fox News), who used to work at the White House one time with St. Ronald Reagan, so ergo expert, knows the real reason: It is because, like football, White House security is a man’s game that has been feminized and wussified and political corrected, thanks A LOT, liberals. Read more on Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously…
  There'll Be No One Left To Blame Us

Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out

Help him!
“Help him, help him,” Bill Kristol was sobbing. “Help him, help him.” “Help who? Help who?” Yossarian called back. “Help who?” “The bombardier, the bombardier,” Kristol cried. “He doesn’t answer. Help the bombardier, help the bombardier.” Read more on Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out…
  Thugghazi

Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug

Think tank is so thinky
In times of civil unrest and racial tension and cops killing unarmed black teenagers, the number one expert you want to explain it to you is wingnut radio gum-flapper Laura Ingraham. That’s just obvious, at least if you are a Fox & Friends bobblehead: Read more on Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug…
  can't....breathe

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter

We’ve been putting off writing about this all night, not because we don’t know what to say, but because we wanted to let the anticipation build, to feel a thrill up our leg, to see starbursts, and savor that first perfect moment when we type these words: HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR LOST HIS FUCKING PRIMARY TO A TEA PARTIER OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. Read more on House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter…
  don't get her started on the smoot-hawley tariff

‘Please Stop Laughing At Laura Ingraham’ — Laura Ingraham (Video)

Fox News Sunday was trundling along in a pretty predictable discussion of U.S. American President Barack Obama’s pretty predictable West Point speech, with Laura Ingraham saying that Obama’s statement that America is strong “doesn’t even pass the straight-face test,” because duh, Barack Obama is president, and Bob Woodward saying that there really wasn’t any need for an “Obama Doctrine,” when a bit of teevee news magic happened. Or maybe it was just a cheap shot, but we LOLed. Read more on ‘Please Stop Laughing At Laura Ingraham’ — Laura Ingraham (Video)…
  our liberal media

Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News

Hissing hate module Laura Ingraham will be joining the roundtable on ABC’s This Week With George Stephanopoulos, apparently because they need someone who’s got the guts to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington by cutting off a recording of a speech by John Lewis with the sound of a gunshot. Or maybe they need someone with a keen analytical mind that recognizes the uncanny parallels between Obamacare and standing in a car rental line. Or maybe she won the spot with her witty observation that Sonia Sotomayor prefers the term “undocumented immigrants” to “illegal aliens” because, as a Puerto Rican person, Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Beats us. Maybe Stephanopoulos just wants Ingraham to wear a red dress and sing “I like to be een A-mer-ee-ca!” Read more on Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News…
  is our pundits learning?

Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor

‘Sup, Laura Ingraham? How’ve you been? Keeping busy? Cool, cool. You’ve been doing what? Being deeply confused and kind of full of racist bullshit about immigrants and Puerto Rico? Well, that’s a thing to pass the time, we guess. What idiot wind blew out of your mouth lately? The context of Ingraham’s statement was a rant about Sotomayor’s decision to refer to people in the United States without citizenship or immigration papers as “undocumented immigrants” because, in Sotomayor’s words, calling “them illegal aliens seemed . . . insulting.” After claiming that Sotomayor’s preference for one term over the other somehow reflects insufficient respect for the rule of law, Ingraham said that Justice Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Read more on Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor…
  leave the deep thoughts to chuck grassley please

Hero Laura Ingraham Uses Car Rental Line As Opportunity To Deliver Obamacare Lesson

Amoebic dysentery vector Laura Ingraham is not one bit pleased with how Barack Obama has made waits at airports longer, because it is just like waiting for a hip replacement. Never mind that most folks old enough to need a hip replacement are on Medicare, which isn’t even the Affordable Care Act, and that the ACA is not Britain’s National Health Service, or that Laura Ingraham is not a competent user of analogies. She has made one hell of a point here, in the long car rental line (THANKS OBAMA) and then tweeted the wise and clever thing she said to the car rental line so we all could receive her wise bon mot, and we salute her. It’s just like we told the woman taking our order at the coffee shop this morning, “Get used to taking orders, only you’ll be taking them from the commandant at the FEMA camp.” #Obamacare Read more on Hero Laura Ingraham Uses Car Rental Line As Opportunity To Deliver Obamacare Lesson…
  not quite at the mountaintop

Laura Ingraham Frets: Liberals Are Trying To Act Like Martin Luther King Was Some Liberal Or Something

Amoebic dysentery vector Laura Ingraham celebrated the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom yesterday by chatting with Pat Buchanan about black-on-white crime, fretting that liberals were stealing the legacy of Martin Luther King, and cutting off a recording of a speech by civil rights hero John Lewis with the sound of a gunshot. But don’t worry about that last one, it was only a joke! Ingraham was very unhappy with Saturday’s march celebrating the anniversary of the 1963 event, complaining that its goal “was to co-opt the legacy of Martin Luther King into a modern-day liberal agenda,” because as everyone knows, Martin Luther King was really a conservative Republican who gave a beautiful anti-affirmative action speech that consisted of a single line about his dream that one day people would be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. Read more on Laura Ingraham Frets: Liberals Are Trying To Act Like Martin Luther King Was Some Liberal Or Something…
  blame canada

Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian

Ivy-league graduate and Harvard Law Review editor Ted Cruz is a startling example of how a Grade A Dumbass can become a U.S. Senator. From Texas, but it still counts. Apparently, despite attending Princeton for undergrad and Harvard for law school, this guy had no idea that being born in Canada makes one a Canadian citizen, even though he himself was that guy who was born in Canada and was therefore a Canadian citizen. If only there was some sort of World Wide InterConnected Web of Electronic Pages one could consult to learn about these things. Someone should get on that. Well, the dual-citizen is finally unburdening himself of his Canadian heritage, allowing him to proudly declare that he is an American and only an American. Per The Hill: “Now the Dallas Morning News says that I may technically have dual citizenship,” Cruz said in a statement. “Assuming that is true, then sure, I will renounce any Canadian citizenship.” Although technically, you are still a giant asshole, but we aren’t sure there is a form you can fill out to renounce that.  Read more on Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian…
  advice for dummies

Count-Pointercount: Olympia Snowe And Laura Ingraham Have Some Advice For Republicans

RINO Olympia Snowe retired last year, so now is a great time for her to speak out about how it’s maybe a bad thing that her party has been taken over by a bunch of screeching addlepated spunk bandits, before the addlepated spunk bandits who keep losing elections convince their brethren that despite all the losing they still know what they are talking about. (Also she has a book to plug, so there’s that.) Tuesday morning she was on some MSNBC show that is not Morning Blowhard to tell the GOP to get its act together: (T)he Republican Party is undergoing some significant and serious changes and they’re going to have to rethink their approach as a political party, and how they’re going to regroup and become a governing majority party that appeals to a broader group of Americans than they do today. Snowe was responding to whatever some female MSNBC host who was not Rachel Maddow or Mika Brys Bryz Whathchamafuck had asked about some comments former Senator BOBDOLE! made over the weekend about how neither he nor the Great Sainted One Ronald Reagan could exist in today’s GOP because they were reasonable men and not just one giant id with memory and erection problems. This is all to be expected from a couple of old-guard moderates who to the party’s 2013 base are so far to the left they might as well be Fidel Castro and Che Guevara marching on Havana. But where we knew we had plunged into Bizarro World was when we heard that Laura fucking Ingraham might have said something similar. Let’s go to the tape: Read more on Count-Pointercount: Olympia Snowe And Laura Ingraham Have Some Advice For Republicans…