Tag Archives: laura bush

  uncreditworthy customers

Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas

Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife “Laura” are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. “Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are buying a house in Dallas, about two hours from his beloved Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas.” Superfluous! Read more on Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas…
  decorating advice

Terribly Offensive Ornament Will NOT Hang On White House XMas Tree After All

Ha ha, so after it looked like Laura Bush was going to be all gracious about festooning the White House Christmas tree with a repulsive ornament decorated in tiny letters detailing a Washington State representative’s support of her husband’s impeachment, the first lady’s spokeswoman says that she will have none of this nonsense. Read more on Terribly Offensive Ornament Will NOT Hang On White House XMas Tree After All…
  required reading

Laura Bush Is Shoppin’ Her Memoirs

All you people have already read American Wife, right? If you did, you already know the “secret ending” to Laura Bush’s memoirs, which involves a Venezuelan sex orgy and nuclear war. But for those fans who can’t get enough of the First Lady, she will pen an Official Account of her life. The tentative title is Why Nice Librarians Should Not Marry Ignorant Clowns. Read more on Laura Bush Is Shoppin’ Her Memoirs…
  isn't that special?

FOX NEWS COLUMNIST TAKES A STAND, AGAINST SATAN, AND THE COMMENTS ARE HILARIOUS: Some dildo asks, “Could Lucifer play a role in this presidential election?” And then he provides … well, so much material for these libtard commenters. [Fox News] Read more on …
  dispatches from the fiery stomach of hell

Greetings From The Empty, Terrible Republican Convention-a-thon

Here’s the deal: we’re all voting for John McCain on November whateverth. Some hurricane somewhere is completely foiling this convention’s plans, and yet the show here is shockingly better managed, more efficient and less stressful than the Denver thing. Probably because no one else is here, at all. Heh. Here are some more pictures from Convention Monday which just ended FOR CHRIST’S SAKE like 20 minutes ago, around 5:15 “local” time. Read more on Greetings From The Empty, Terrible Republican Convention-a-thon…
  the saddest thing

Laura Bush Talks A Bit, And Cindy McCain Says Hi, The End

Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane! Read more on Laura Bush Talks A Bit, And Cindy McCain Says Hi, The End…
  disasters

OUR NATION’S WEATHER LADIES: Cindy McCain and Laura Bush will actually (maybe) speak today — beginning at 4:50 p.m., Central time — at the Republican convention! They will talk about, uh, Gustav. The hurricane. They will talk about a hurricane. This is the new GOP platform: Talking about a hurricane. [McClatchy] Read more on …
  literary contest

Win A Free Copy Of ‘American Wife’!

Hey Wonkette readers, are some of you “into” actual books? Here is your chance to win one, for free: a galley copy of Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife, which tackles the difficult question of why a tasteful librarian with all the apparent trappings of a human soul would end up married to a snickering idiot jock who likes bombing things. Just write to tips@wonkette.com by noon o’clock Eastern on Wednesday with the subject line MY FAVORITE FIRST LADY IS NOT THAT STRUMPET ABIGAIL FILLMORE and tell us, in 25 words or less, who your favorite first lady is. The ten lucky winners will be announced Friday. More rulez ‘n stuff after the jump. Read more on Win A Free Copy Of ‘American Wife’!…
  annals of real estate

The Bushes Are House Hunting In Dallas!

It’s easy to forget that some other guy was president before the McCain/Obama joint rulership of America began. The other guy’s name was “George Bush,” and he flew around the world dancing with the natives and bombing nonexistent nuke installations. But now that Dick Cheney has tired of operating the chip in his brain, George Bush needs a new place to live, so he has dispatched his wife to investigate every cavernous tacky 7,000-square-foot limestone piece of shit in the greater Dallas area. Let’s explore the possibilities, together. Read more on The Bushes Are House Hunting In Dallas!…
  political literature

Sizzling Fictional Laura Bush Potboiler Coming Soon!

Once upon a time, Curtis Sittenfeld wrote a funny thing for Salon about her terrible case of Nell Freudenberger envy. Then she wrote two best-selling novels and now she has another novel coming out in September: a piece of RACY SPECULATIVE FICTION that is totally obviously about Laura Bush! If Wonkette had a Book Club for Fancy Ladies and Gentlemen, this might be an inaugural selection. Lesbians, abortions, and sexy sex quotations via Radar after the jump. Read more on Sizzling Fictional Laura Bush Potboiler Coming Soon!…
 

Laura Bush Gets A Friendly Hello From New Zealand Soldiers

We had forgotten about these crazy war-dances the Maori like to do before important events like rugby matches and visits from the American First Lady. What is it with the Bushes and their weird knack for ending up at nutty dance parties? [YouTube] Read more on Laura Bush Gets A Friendly Hello From New Zealand Soldiers…
 

Jenna and Laura Bush, On Ellen’s TeeVee Show!

You will certainly want to watch all eight minutes of Jenna and Laura’s crazy time over on the lesbian teevee show! Let us know if anything good happens. For us, the highlight was about 35 seconds in when Jenna sits down and crosses her legs and flashes some panty. And then we quit watching, because who fucking cares what these people say, right? [Campaign Circus] Read more on Jenna and Laura Bush, On Ellen’s TeeVee Show!…
 

Bush Administration Scolds Another Government For Not Dealing With Natural Disaster Effectively

For some reason, Laura Bush decided to be president today and gave a press conference attacking the Burmese government for the way it handled the cyclone that has killed upwards of 10,000 citizens. Laura Bush said, “Although they were aware of the threat, Burma’s state-run media failed to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm’s path.” How would the Bush administration have handled a large natural disaster, however? Read more on Bush Administration Scolds Another Government For Not Dealing With Natural Disaster Effectively…
 

NATION OF CRETINS: “A man who heckled Laura and Jenna Bush as they were leaving a discussion about their children’s book was arrested after he allegedly punched a girl who was in a wheelchair.” [TransWorldNews] Read more on …
 

Jenna Bush, Secret Democrat

Jenna Bush loves planning her wedding and walking around with feed sacks, but there’s one thing she might not love so much: John McCain. In a shocking appearance with her mother on Larry King Live, she allowed as how she might not be voting for a Republican in the fall. Her incendiary remarks, after the jump! Read more on Jenna Bush, Secret Democrat…
 

Popemania: George & Laura & Jenna Bush Say Hi To Pope!

The leader of America’s religion, Christianity, finally arrived in America today! The president and his wife and their daughter, Jenna, rushed down to the airport to say howdy. The pope held Jenna’s hand and cackled, in German, “You’re very pretty, for a girl.” Read more on Popemania: George & Laura & Jenna Bush Say Hi To Pope!…