Tag: laura bush

Oh Nothing, Just Another Member Of The Bush Family Schmoozing For Hillary Clinton

It's Barbara Bush! The one who hangs out with Dakota Fanning, not the one who's old.

George H. W. Bush Voting For Hillary Clinton, Like All Patriotic Americans

We thought he was just going to vote for her SECRETLY. Now the cat's out of the bag!

Jenna Bush Lathers Up A Tongan

JENNA BUSH, YOUR HUSBAND IS WATCHING.
Never gets old. The picture, we mean.

Is George W. Bush In The Tank For Crooked Hillary Clinton? We Are Just Asking.

Dubya talked some smack about Donald Trump at a fundraiser, without even saying Trump's name. Does this mean he is #ImWithHer? MAYBE.

George W. Bush Is Great Tipper, Terrible President, Did Not Actually Do 9/11

When a famous person comes into your restaurant and turns out to be a great customer, there are many things you should do as a server. Treat them like you would anyone else, give them good service, don't bring...
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comments: Don’t Call Trump Supporters Thugs. They’ll Kick Your Pinko Ass

Greetings, Ye Wonkers! We're back with all the comments that weren't fit to keep printed, and we've got a bit of a backlog to work through. Fortunately, there's no expiration date on deleted comments: They're usually rancid to start...

Wingnuts Will Never Forgive Michelle Obama For Outlawing Bacon Sundaes In Schools

Michelle Obama, Queen First Lady of our hearts, has long cared deeply about America's obesity crisis, particularly among kids. How have right-wingers been dicks to her about it over the years? Let us count the ways. First, some quick backstory....

Bernie Bro Just Wondering Who Her Royal Highness Michelle Obama Thinks She Is Anyway

It has come to our attention that a young man on the internet has all the feels for Bernie Sanders. Oh, sorry, we ought to be more specific, oughtn't we? This particular young man enjoys freelance blogging his undying love for...

America’s BFF Saudi Arabia Says Dancing Makes You Gay, Which Is Obvious Science Fact

Our bestest friend Saudi Arabia knows what is up. While the religious freedom American Jesus people are still stuck in the past, saying that your mother made you gay because she was too nice, or your father made you...
It's not like he can just hand his brother the presidency

George Dubya Bush Says Brother Jeb Has To ‘Earn’ The Presidency, LOL Just Kidding

Here's some shock-and-awing political insight from the man who never had a gig his daddy didn't set up for him. From the champagne unit of the National Guard, to the Texas governorship, to the state of Florida his brother...
He Kept Us Mostly Safe Kind Of

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism

Well, fans of Christianist textbooks, just like in 1989, we're just about at the end of history once again, or at least the end of our two rightwing Christian textbooks, almost. Last week, our 11/12th-grade textbook, United States History...

Laura Bush, Feminist Hero: When There Is A First Gentleman, We Should Fat-Shame Him And Laugh At His Clothes

We usually don't get around to praising Laura Bush much in these parts. Our feelings on her tend to run the gamut from "meh" to "oh, do shut up." But we are pretty into her latest interview, where she...

Michelle Obama Is Being A Thug Again

It has been a rough week for non-thugs in America, as blackity-black people are flaunting their sportsball prowess all over the place. Why, even Michelle Obama used the precious sacred White House space to FLOTUS like a butterfly, sting...

It Is Eleanor Roosevelt’s Birthday And We Have Discovered The Best Website Ever

So write a thing about Eleanor Roosevelt, Editrix said, on account of how it is her birthday. We don't really know anything about Eleanor Roosevelt, we said, except that she is cool. Write it anyway, said Editrix. Which is how...

Laura Bush, Profile In Courage

Former First Lady Laura Bush, do you love gheyz and homosex and done wrote a book where you talked about loving gheyz and homosex and went on Larry King and talked about loving gheyz and homosex? That is very...

RNC Offers Video Tributes To Ron Paul, Other Losers

Sorry you can't be president Ron Paul! Also, sorry you didn't win enough states (any states, the Virgin Islands is not a state) and thus couldn't secure a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention! Also also,...