WASHINGTON, DC, 11:37 AM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘laura bush’

NICE CHAIN-SMOKING LADIES

Laura Bush Loves Socialism Again

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

GayIn the early 1800s, a nice nerdy Democrat gal named Laura “Matt” Welch was attending a “common backyard barbecue” in Texas when this drunk slob, George W. Bush, started grabbing her boobs and vomiting all over her. Bush made Ms. Welch become a Republican, if she wanted in on the family money, and this arrangement worked out alright until just now, when Laura Bush said a nice thing or two about Barack Obama and his commie speech to the schoolchildren. MORE »


HA HA DUBYA IS 'HUNG'

Portraits of George and Laura Bush Unveiled

Friday, December 19th, 2008

It's teevee's Cindy Williams!We were going to do some kind of comedy thing, regarding this dumb story about the National Portrait Gallery unveiling the paintings of George and Laura Bush, but why bother when the, uh, the CBS Evening News is already on the job:

A Public Hanging (Of Sorts) For The Bush Family
You’ve seen him assaulted with a shoe, but care to see President Bush “hung?”


REAL ESTATE MARKET

Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look! MORE »


UNCREDITWORTHY CUSTOMERS

Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

Not the Bushes' home, but we expect a McMansion along these lines.Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife “Laura” are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. “Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are buying a house in Dallas, about two hours from his beloved Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas.” Superfluous! MORE »


DECORATING ADVICE

Terribly Offensive Ornament Will NOT Hang On White House XMas Tree After All

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

This is a repellent image.Ha ha, so after it looked like Laura Bush was going to be all gracious about festooning the White House Christmas tree with a repulsive ornament decorated in tiny letters detailing a Washington State representative’s support of her husband’s impeachment, the first lady’s spokeswoman says that she will have none of this nonsense. MORE »


REQUIRED READING

Laura Bush Is Shoppin’ Her Memoirs

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

All you people have already read American Wife, right? If you did, you already know the “secret ending” to Laura Bush’s memoirs, which involves a Venezuelan sex orgy and nuclear war. But for those fans who can’t get enough of the First Lady, she will pen an Official Account of her life. The tentative title is Why Nice Librarians Should Not Marry Ignorant Clowns. MORE »


ISN'T THAT SPECIAL?

Friday, October 24th, 2008

FOX NEWS COLUMNIST TAKES A STAND, AGAINST SATAN, AND THE COMMENTS ARE HILARIOUS: Some dildo asks, “Could Lucifer play a role in this presidential election?” And then he provides … well, so much material for these libtard commenters. [Fox News]


DISPATCHES FROM THE FIERY STOMACH OF HELL

Greetings From The Empty, Terrible Republican Convention-a-thon

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Here’s the deal: we’re all voting for John McCain on November whateverth. Some hurricane somewhere is completely foiling this convention’s plans, and yet the show here is shockingly better managed, more efficient and less stressful than the Denver thing. Probably because no one else is here, at all. Heh. Here are some more pictures from Convention Monday which just ended FOR CHRIST’S SAKE like 20 minutes ago, around 5:15 “local” time. MORE »


THE SADDEST THING

Laura Bush Talks A Bit, And Cindy McCain Says Hi, The End

Monday, September 1st, 2008

OH SHIT IT'S A GIANT RICK PERRY!Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane! MORE »


DISASTERS

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Here comes the story of the hurricane ...OUR NATION’S WEATHER LADIES: Cindy McCain and Laura Bush will actually (maybe) speak today — beginning at 4:50 p.m., Central time — at the Republican convention! They will talk about, uh, Gustav. The hurricane. They will talk about a hurricane. This is the new GOP platform: Talking about a hurricane. [McClatchy]


LITERARY CONTEST

Win A Free Copy Of ‘American Wife’!

Monday, August 11th, 2008

All this can be yours!Hey Wonkette readers, are some of you “into” actual books? Here is your chance to win one, for free: a galley copy of Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife, which tackles the difficult question of why a tasteful librarian with all the apparent trappings of a human soul would end up married to a snickering idiot jock who likes bombing things. Just write to tips@wonkette.com by noon o’clock Eastern on Wednesday with the subject line MY FAVORITE FIRST LADY IS NOT THAT STRUMPET ABIGAIL FILLMORE and tell us, in 25 words or less, who your favorite first lady is. The ten lucky winners will be announced Friday. More rulez ‘n stuff after the jump. MORE »