Wonkette

Last month, on Wonkette:

LAURA BLUMENFELD YOU ARE OUR NEW FAVORITE WRITER. [...] Will you please make your next piece an epic high-seas romance with international intrigue, swashbuckling, and daring-do, starring Joe Biden and a giant lizard?

Today, in Laura Blumenfeld’s “Off Camera” Column:

“I imagine I’m a pirate,” [Norman Mineta] said. “Of the Caribbean.”

Exciting conclusion, after the jump!

MORE »

* This is how the world will end, not with a bang, but a clank, and the thump of a pneumatic hammer on an elevator. We’re relieved that no one was hurt, but it sure was exciting covering all the action. Er, whatever it is that passes for action. In the end, the biggest danger of the day was the risk of some soiled gabardine, but even that was averted. MORE »

Really, what is there to say, but WHAT THE FUCK.

Frist, at heart, is a doctor. At 5:45 a.m., before a recent Senate workday, he prepared for a quirky slice of surgery. During congressional breaks, Frist, 54, has been known to fly to Africa to operate. But in Washington, he has quietly cultivated another practice: gorillas at the National Zoo.

It is very difficult to refrain from quoting this entire column. This entire insane, hideous fever dream of a column. It is the story of BILL FRIST — GORILLA SURGEON!

Won’t you join us after the jump?

MORE »