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Posts Tagged “Las Vegas”

shirkers

Why Won't Miss USA Share Her Sage Political Advice?

The current Miss USA, Rachel Smith, is America's most beloved and trusted source for political analysis second only to David Broder. So why did she clam up around one reporter for the Las Vegas Review-Journal? Doesn't she know it's her right and her responsibility, as a citizen and an elected leader, to tell the American public exactly what she thinks about conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center? More »

the tmz headline is 'gopeepee party'

Republican Convention Secretly Sponsored By Hot Porn Studio

Last Saturday, the Clark County, Nevada Republican party held its convention, and the biggest story was the keynote speaker who laughed at Obama for being abandoned by two (NON-WHITE) fathers. Ha ha, poor Hopey. Apparently, however, it was the Clark County officials who were doing the abandoning — of their morals. More »

WAR IS HELL: The Clintons’ “March to the Sea” continues today as she burns all defeated culinary union employees in Vegas. [CNN]

casino caucus carolina

MLK Holiday Spectacular: What Happened In Nevada?

While you people had a nice weekend, we went back to Nevada for Caucus Day. It was a very special time. We also “virtually” went to South Carolina, in our minds, to cover the GOP primary. Here’s what you missed:


confused nevada

'Nobody Understands What A Caucus Is'


While this Casino Caucus video can’t compete with Wonkette’s Cloverfield Coverage, it does provide actual verification of our hysterical claims: Nobody in Nevada even knows what Caucus means, let alone how to hold one. [Why Tuesday?]

ladies can vote now!

Inside The Casino Caucus

At nine casinos in fabulous Las Vegas today, the Democrats held these weird “at large” caucuses for the Culinary Workers Union, which happened to endorse Obama. And then there was a court case — not-so-secretly encouraged by the Clinton campaign — to stop these casino caucus spectaculars, because that might help Barry Hussein Obama. Well, in the end Hillary won even with the union people having the right to vote or whatever. Here’s what it looked like. More »

cinéma-vérité

Shocking Video Proves Dumbness of Caucus


So, turns out you can take crappy videos with this crappy little PowerShot I carry around ….

america is doomed

Hillary Forever: Liveblogging the Casino Caucus!

Here’s an idea as innovative as the Nevada Caucus “First In The West” itself: Invite the press, lock them in a terrible underground ballroom in a casino somewhere, and make sure there’s no sort of Internet or wireless or anything. Hooray! Anyway, that’s where your editor has been, and here’s the chilling semi-live-blogged account of this weird, weird process. More »

winning in the west

Crushing Victory For Hillary With 50.05%

Suck it, Barry! You only got like three percent less than Hillary! NOBODY LIKES BLACK PEOPLE.

Of course, you, the Wonkette reader with Internet Access, already know this, thanks to Newell’s post and, perhaps, teevee news. Lots more coming, including a stupid movie! [Las Vegas Sun]

daily briefing

And The Dealer Keeps On Joking As He Takes My Last Token

  • It’s super cold in South Carolina this morning, which suggests people won’t vote for McCain because he has a mulatto baby. [The State]
  • Nevada is so very different than those other states that already had a caucus or primary. There are legal whorehouses everywhere, for one thing, and people are also really dumb and poor and fat. [Las Vegas Sun]
  • Hey, Michelle Hussein Obama doesn’t know how to pronounce “Nevada,” either. [NY Daily News]
  • Mike Huckabee is walking a fine line between being a Jesus Freak and being a Jesus Freak who can beat McCain. [NYT]
  • All the sudden Hopeful Barry’s all being mean to Hillary, because apparently he is running a political campaign against her. [Washington Post]

baby's in reno with the vitamin d

Nevada Caucus Can't Compete With Reno Santa

Who loves Reno? Hardly anybody, that’s who. But the “Biggest Little City” and star of teevee’s Reno 911 is all excited about its role in the “First In The West” caucus tomorrow, as you can see from the Reno Gazette Journal’s lead story right now. [Reno Gazette-Journal]

paulians and their big ideas

Prize Fighter Refuses To Shame Himself With Ron Paul Tattoo

What better way for a champion to end his career in the ring than by, uh, permanently disfiguring his own body with a giant Ron Paul tattoo? That was the grand scheme hatched by the Paultards, who came up with this great idea to forever scar middleweight/heavyweight legend Roy Jones Jr. with Paul’s name in time for the big fight with Felix Trinidad on Saturday. But Jones just killed the $50,000 offer, the Las Vegas Sun reports, because it was just so fucking stupid. [Las Vegas Sun]

battle bored

Goodbye and Good Riddance, Las Vegas (Until Saturday)

Horrible smog. Chewed-up desert. Wind storms. Endless vistas of foreclosed stucco boxes. For Sale signs and Payday Loan joints. Crushing unemployment. No water. Rampant crime, prostitution, drug addiction, gambling addiction — all squirming around the edges of a never-finished vulgar theme park that should be blown up and reassembled in Dubai, where it belongs. More »

las vegas needs real change

Time For A Change, Nevada: Squirrel '08

Here’s the best campaign sign ever made by anyone, for anyone. It’s in downtown Las Vegas, by the jail. See, everything’s not always about Hillary and Barry and what’s his name, “Ol’ Mill Liver.”


this town, so glamorous

Mitt Romney Has A Supporter In Nevada

During my sad tour of the endless half-abandoned Vegas “single family home developments,” I saw exactly ZERO political signs until this half-hearted falling-over Mitt Romney “lawn” sign. (It’s kind of stuck in some half-dead ground-cover plant surrounded by gravel. Las Vegas is about 42% stucco and 56% gravel. The rest of the city consists of cigarette butts and dried-up condoms.) More »

four kinds of steak

Bill Clinton Is So Very Hungry

While common press people and local pols subsisted on mysterious buffet-line chicken pucks and leftover iceberg lettuce in the debate’s freezing media warehouse, Big Bill Clinton was feasting on “four kinds of steak” specially prepared for him by chef Barry Dakake of the swank N9NE steakhouse. And the food wasn’t just for Bill!

America’s beloved ex-president had about 20 “friends” over at his private Bellagio villa, and they were all so hungry. (Also please note that the Las Vegas Review-Journal gossip columnist proudly sports an eyepatch.) [NORM! Vegas Confidential]

DREAMS COME TRUE:
If you’ve been wondering what the debate maybe would’ve been like if the Highest Court in Nevada hadn’t barred the dangerous Dennis Kucinich from taking part, wonder no more. Democracy Now’s Amy Goodman has made some fantasy-baseball version where Dennis really did take part! [Democracy Now]

what they love most is each other, and themselves

Hillary, Barry & John's Hippie Threesome

That about wraps it up, doesn’t it? If John Edwards’ campaign wasn’t sending furious emails to every reporter on Earth each time Barry or Hillary denied whatever it is they do with the corporates, you’d think these people did Ecstasy and decided to sit around the living room all night, intensely talking about how much they all care about each other. “You’re such an awesome person,” Hillary would say to Barry. “Oh get over here, John,” Barry would say, as they all three embraced. “I just love you guys so much.” Meanwhile, Dennis and Elizabeth have have slipped off to the hot tub …. [Las Vegas Sun]