Tag: larry pratt

Noted Gun Fondler Will Stop Mass Shootings At Bars By Stiffly Regulating … No, Not Guns, Silly!

Maybe if bars didn't have to serve all that devil booze, nobody would get murdered at them!
This would fix everything

Shame If Someone Had To Shoot SCOTUS Nominee To Teach Him About Second Amendment

In case you were wondering if we have reached peak foaming-at-the-mouth outrage yet over President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, hahaha, aren't you adorable? We have, however, reached the part of our civilized national debate where Very Concerned Citizens casually...
Something like this.

Let’s Help Jesus Punish That Judge For Being Mean To Poor Kim Davis!

Pull out your pitchforks and trim your bushes, Christian warriors of God's love, it's time for some Crusades! How are we going to show everybody just how much Jesus loves the little children, all the little children of the...
Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Dewegates!

Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz

Hey, Ted Cruz, what's your next cool fundraiser idea? Wow, a chance for some lucky gun-humping donor to go shootin' with the senator? That sounds like more fun than staying up all night playing RISK with Rand Paul! Funny thing...

Larry Pratt Pretty Sure That Congresswomen Should Be Afraid He’ll Shoot Them, For Freedom

Oh hey look everybody! It's Larry Pratt, emperor of Gun Owners Uber Alles American Style, who we last saw making really confusing Hitler comparisons and explaining that teachers who hide in classrooms during school shootings to protect students are not...

Supreme Court Says You Can’t Lie About Gun Purchases. How Is That Even Fair?

Did you hear that? It's the sound of Ted Nugent and Wayne LaPierre's and zombie Charlton Heston's heads, all exploding in glorious concert, because the Supremes ruled against a Gun Thing yesterday, which is weird because we totally figured that the...

Gun Fondler Larry Pratt Pretty Certain Teachers Helping Kids Stay Safe During School Shootings Are Wusses

Larry Pratt, king of Gun Owners for Gun Owners For And By America, Amen, showed up on the un-delightfully misnomered Christian Information Radio last week to talk about new spring floral arrangements how guns are the very bestest thing...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of Tawdry Trifling Trivia

Welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn't quite merit their own posts but were too stupid to ignore altogether. As usual, we recommend you fortify yourself...

Gun Guy Larry Pratt Wonders Why Our Blacks Can’t Just Sing And Be Happy Like The African Ones

Larry Pratt, the descriptively named executive director of Gun Owners of America, has figured out how to improve The Blacks in America: In a recent radio interview, he explained that American blacks would have a much better time of...

A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: So Much Crazy, So Little Time

Somehow, the end of the week brought us a flurry of stories that are all special wonderful snowflakes of stoopid, and while they're all worthy of pointing and laughing at, we just can't devote an entire post to each...

Larry Pratt: Guns As Much Fun For Kids As Water Pistols, Just Stain Your Clothes A Little Worse

As a writer, yr Wonkette is accustomed to people asking where we get our ideas (for the record: we mix up a special cocktail of opium and despair and inject it directly into our eyeballs). We would like to...

Very Sane Tea Party Man Warns Of Obama’s Army Of Blacks

Ever wonder what is really behind all this "they deserve a vote, let's all stop killing each other, no more crazy guns everywhere all the time" nonsense push for "rational" gun policies in America? Ever thought it might all...

Why Does Liberal Weenie Antonin Scalia Not Love Guns At All?

When you think Antonin Scalia, you think squishy liberal, right? Who doesn't? He of the Throw Everyone Out Of The US But Whitey Decision and the distressingly narrow view of the 14th Amendment — he is our go-to guy...