Here’s Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig describing a handjob he gave Hugo Chavez gayly saying we can’t let foreign dictators “jerk us around by the gas nozzle” doing both of the things we’ve crossed out. Note the flailing hands. [TPM]

LARRY CRAIG FINALLY HAS INTERNET FRIENDS! One of you noticed Gay Larry Craig had no virtual pals on this FreedomSpeaks site, so a bunch of you people went over there and kindly befriended the Idaho Bathroom Goblin. Who says chivalry is dead? [FreedomSpeaks]

Why is gay Senator Larry Craig always getting arrested in public restrooms? Because he’s the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, that’s why! Also, as this picture proves, it’s because he has no Internet friends. So sad. [Official Profile: Sen. Larry E. Craig]

Republican Senator Larry Craig can’t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody’s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! MORE »

Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]

A Wonkette Senate operative has informed us that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig is on the Senate floor now, and “he’s talking about the ‘Craig Does Act,’ and said ‘we adjusted ourselves a little bit’ referencing ‘the no zone’ as well.” Yes folks, it’s true: Larry Craig is a major player in Congressional efforts to end the ban on domestic drilling (for oil), with his very special “Craig D.O.E.S. Act,” which seeks to alleviate “Pain at the Pump.” Craig reasons that once America gets used to being drilled, the pumps won’t be as painful. [Sen. Larry Craig]

The untouchables who sit by the Ganges plucking human waste from the river hold the most thankless job in the world. The American vice president holds the second most thankless job in the world. So it’s no surprise that most senators have zero interest in the position — except for Larry Craig, who admitted in a creepily protesting-too-much fashion that “I would say ‘No, Hillary.’” What are some other hilarious things America’s jokester senators might say to the presidential nominees if tapped for the number two spot? MORE »

This old coot is Walt Bayes, a 70-year-old retired Bitter who is running for Idaho’s House of Representatives. Two years ago, Bayes went on a comical 59-day hunger strike because of abortion. Quitter! That’s OK, because Bayes has lots of good ideas for Larry Craig’s state. In his “campaign literature,” there are all sorts of innovative ideas for public education, such as this: “It is absolutely wrong to force any student to share the same bathrooms and showers with homosexual teachers or students.” He explains. MORE »

Montana Congressman Denny Rehberg is worth tens of millions of dollars, but because he is drunk most of the time — including a 2004 trip to Kazakhstan where he “had several shots of vodka before he fell off a horse, got trampled on by another and broke at least one rib” — he usually sleeps in his Capitol Hill office. He has absolutely no idea where he is or what he is doing at all times. So what is this $300 in campaign money he dropped for “lodging” at Capitol Hill’s delightful Tune Inn bar, where they don’t have “lodging” in the traditional sense? MORE »

This week, Al Franken, Mike Shields, and Larry Craig were all spotted being various degrees of “Famous for DC” at various places by our spies and operatives. It is not the Biggest Ever Wonk’d, but you really only get something like that once in a lifetime. Plus, gay Larry Craig! MORE »

Disgraced “singing senator” Larry Craig will soon have a new career after he leaves the Senate in January after bringing us all a million laughs: The Idaho homosexual will write a book about energy policy! Craig visited some little county somewhere in Idaho last week to push a great new pollution method called a “coal-gassification plant.” MORE »