Wonkette

Oooh this looks sexy, what the hell is it? “Cuddle Party is a playful social event designed for adults to explore communication, boundaries and affection.” The website also has… Cuddlemonials: “You continue to open new arenas up for me in regard to my own sexuality and my love for women, as well as in learning to love myself and my body.” So basically at Cuddle Party, you just fuck for a while. And one is coming to DC! MORE »

It is not even a slow news day, but all the news is about tire pressure so kill us now. So we went to Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig’s webpage to see if anything gay was going on and lo and behold, everything gay was going on, in this one screen cap. What a frightening devil this one is, oh, what a terror. [Larry Craig]

So there is this Democratic paraphernalia vendor called Tigerye Design, and they sell buttons and other crap. One such button, briefly available for purchase on their site, showed Barack Obama and Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig instead of Obama and Idaho Senatorial candidate Larry LaRocco. So until the vendor pulled it, a button was available that showed the guy who even straight dudes want to do and the straight guy who wants to do dudes. Prediction: this button will retail on eBay for fifteen thousand whore diamonds. [AP]

Here’s Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig describing a handjob he gave Hugo Chavez gayly saying we can’t let foreign dictators “jerk us around by the gas nozzle” doing both of the things we’ve crossed out. Note the flailing hands. [TPM]

LARRY CRAIG FINALLY HAS INTERNET FRIENDS! One of you noticed Gay Larry Craig had no virtual pals on this FreedomSpeaks site, so a bunch of you people went over there and kindly befriended the Idaho Bathroom Goblin. Who says chivalry is dead? [FreedomSpeaks]

Why is gay Senator Larry Craig always getting arrested in public restrooms? Because he’s the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, that’s why! Also, as this picture proves, it’s because he has no Internet friends. So sad. [Official Profile: Sen. Larry E. Craig]

Republican Senator Larry Craig can’t walk past a public restroom without rushing in and offering to suck everybody’s cock. Republican Senator David Vitter spends all his time and money fucking hookers while shitting in his Depends. Imagine what these creeps might do if homosexual couples got married! MORE »

Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]

A Wonkette Senate operative has informed us that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig is on the Senate floor now, and “he’s talking about the ‘Craig Does Act,’ and said ‘we adjusted ourselves a little bit’ referencing ‘the no zone’ as well.” Yes folks, it’s true: Larry Craig is a major player in Congressional efforts to end the ban on domestic drilling (for oil), with his very special “Craig D.O.E.S. Act,” which seeks to alleviate “Pain at the Pump.” Craig reasons that once America gets used to being drilled, the pumps won’t be as painful. [Sen. Larry Craig]

The untouchables who sit by the Ganges plucking human waste from the river hold the most thankless job in the world. The American vice president holds the second most thankless job in the world. So it’s no surprise that most senators have zero interest in the position — except for Larry Craig, who admitted in a creepily protesting-too-much fashion that “I would say ‘No, Hillary.’” What are some other hilarious things America’s jokester senators might say to the presidential nominees if tapped for the number two spot? MORE »