Tag: larry craig

Sen. James Inhofe Wishes Transgender Folk Would Stop Peeing All Over His Neck

The trans folk are making Sen. Inhofe very pee-shy. ALLEGEDLY.

Alabama Governor Didn’t Bone That Lady, Sexism Boned That Lady!

Oh great, now it's time to hear from the woman Republican Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley DID NOT have physical relations with. Honest! He may have penis-lusted after her in his brain, but he did not brain-lust her with his...
Not sure if this is the judge or not, we just found it on the internet.

Arkansas Judge Invited Hot White Felon Boys Over For Sexytime. Totally Normal.

Judging is real tough because sometimes you're just going about your day and saying "GUILTY!" and "IT'S SLAMMER TIME, MAURICE," but then you get distracted by all the OMG CUTE WHITE GUY BUTTOCKS that came through your courtroom for...
Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...
Gotta have two monitors. One to call sports plays on the radio and one to talk to YOUR SEX BOYFRIENDS.

Gay-Hatin’ Indiana Republican Caught Trolling For Online Dick, What A Shock

You know the old saying: "Scratch a homophobe, but please don't knock the dick out of his mouth, he's not finished yet." (We think that's the saying?) Anyway, meet your new gross Republican gay-sexing scumbag, what doesn't support gay rights,...
Values Voters arriving.

It’s The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?

Hooray, the Values Voter Summit started Friday morning in Washington ... and you're late! Haha, just kidding, it's never too late to go to a sausage party full of sad, closeted dicks. We woulda been ALL OVER THIS SHIT...
Wonder if they have this book?

Sexy Republican Lawmakers Sorry For ‘Exchanging Documents’ In Each Other’s Pants

Did you hear about these two crazy kids in Minnesota? They are Republican state Reps. Tim Kelly and Tara Mack, and they are married, but not to each other. They were caught doing normal Republican legislator stuff to each other...
Maybe this is happening because Jesus hates you.

Oh No, Josh Duggar’s Cheatin’ Penis Makes The Family Values Crowd Look Bad!

Oh no, Josh Duggar has strayed from his Christian marriage by getting on the internet to find strange hoo-ha to dip his Duggar Stick into, and the Family Research Council, AKA the Southern Poverty Law Center-designated "family values" hate group where...
Fun-employed

Family Values Republicans Just Fine With Gross Duggar Family Sex-Criming

Are we even remotely surprised that the oh-so-holy Family ValuesTM Duggars have been keeping a dirty secret about that time Josh Duggar repeatedly molested his sisters, and his parents knew and did not do a goddamned thing about it, except...
And then he did it to me like this.

Toe-Tapping Sen. Larry Craig Liked His Manwhores Butch (No Femmes, No Asians, No Fats)

Well, well, well, your favorite former senator, the "Larry Craig" one who liked to teabag you with his "wide stance" in the men's room at the airport, is back in the news! You remember him. He is the one...

Hey, Remember When Tucker Carlson Beat Up That Gay Dude In The Bathroom?

This piece has been UPDATED, because this is a post about Tucker Carlson being creepy about transgender people in bathrooms, and we are smacking ourselves on the face and on the bottom, because we forgot to talk about that...
Stop stalling

Idaho Republicans Tap Larry Craig For Financial Head

In an inspiring holiday story of forgiveness and redemption, the Idaho Republican Party has welcomed back former Sen. Larry Craig, installing him this week as "financial chair of its executive committee." It's heartening to know that even after Craig...

Idahoans Like Butch Otter, Hate Hillary Clinton, Go Both Ways On Potatoes

Our pals at Public Policy Polling (we like to say they're our pals, but they don't know us from Adam's off ox) have graced us with a poll on the Idaho midterm elections, and you will be astonished to...

Larry ‘Wide Stance’ Craig Is Back! And Guilty! Again!

Life is full of important lessons. Look both ways before crossing the street. If you are a professional sportsball player, don’t domestic violence a woman on video. Ladies, don’t get raped. And today, we learn a political lesson: If...

Here Is Your Rick Perry Mugshot And All The Other Great Ones Too

Tuesday was the day for Gov. Rick “Yosemite Sam” Perry to turn himself into the authorities for fingerprinting, mugshot-taking, and general merriment over the extremely thin felony charges he faces over defunding the Travis County Public Integrity Unit. Finally, we...

Wonkette After Dark: Your Politician Sex Scandal Choose Your Own Word-Lib!

Is it just us, or has it been a long time since we had a really revolting sex scandal? What was the last one, Bob Filner? That was a "good" one. We are trying to remember before that but...