Back awhile ago Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi achieved international renown for hurling his loafer at our President at the time, George W. Bush. This was the like the “Kanye West doing something spontaneous at the teenager show” of its time! “George W. Bush is going to torture the shit out of him,” was the conclusion made in what everyone was pretty sure was hyperbolic jest. Anyway, long story short, apparently George W. Bush has been torturing the shit out of Muntader al-Zaidi since December. MORE »

• In a statement that’s positive never to come back and haunt him, child ironist Bobby Jindal said he doesn’t think the government should be spending so much money monitoring possible natural disasters. [Top of the Ticket]
• Virginia Democrats will win the governorship by choosing to run against Sarah Palin. [CNN Political Ticker]
• This endless Minnesota to-do with Norm Macdonald and Lorne Michaels is disheartening to the local young lizard people, who are now doubting their own place within democracy. Sad times! [The Caucus]
• The Red Cross’ report on all of America’s famous recent torture has leaked. [Daily Dish]
• Throwy Journalist, he who tossed of loaferfull of misguided vigilantism at Bush, will be released from jail in just one year now, instead of three. [Gawker]

• Here is your Sarah Palin 2009 glamour porn calendar with “pre-drilled holes” to more easily hatefuck it. One more year! One more year! [Marc Ambinder]
• David Paterson is fighting secret name-calling wars with Caroline Kennedy (of the prestigious Sulzberger family) via the New York Post. [Ben Smith]
• The identity of “Individual D” in the Blaggy thing has been uncovered: it’s Raghuveer Nayak, some billionaire whose money was of interest to Blaggy, and the only name in the world that will be copied and pasted and not spelled out a higher percentage of the time than “Rod Blagojevich.” [Top of the Ticket]
• Here is Dick Cheney, being saucy and continuing to send his ill-wishes, unprovoked, to Dark Knight star Patrick Leahy. [CNN Political Ticker]
• The type of shoe that Throwy Journalist tossed at George Bush is now a best-seller! The economy is saved forever, etc.! [Hit & Run]