Tag Archives: kwanzaa

  He's almost as good as Michele Bachmann

GOP Congresstwit So Sad SCOTUS Pissed On Graves Of Christian Civil War Heroes

He does history good
Wisconsin’s freshman Republican Rep. Glenn Grothman is fast becoming our favorite numb-nutted wingnut in the House. He’s the one who recently suggested the good people of his district spy on suspicious looking grocery store shoppers, just to make sure those fake welfare queens aren’t buying too many crab legs. He’d already created quite a name for himself as a state senator, with some neat ideas about getting rid of weekends and officially declaring single parents child abusers, and we expect great derptastic things from him during his congressional career. Read more on GOP Congresstwit So Sad SCOTUS Pissed On Graves Of Christian Civil War Heroes…
  Do They Even Know It's Kwanzaa?

Obamas Can’t Help Dragging Race Into Kwanzaa Statement

Barack and Obama Michelle Obama have released their Annual Perfunctory Message for Kwanzaa: A “celebration highlighting the rich African American heritage and culture”? Why not just release Michelle’s “Whitey” tape while you’re at it, Barry? Read more on Obamas Can’t Help Dragging Race Into Kwanzaa Statement…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps

Would you believe it’s the final Derp Roundup of 2013? This is where we bring you the virtual melon rinds and coffee grounds of stories that didn’t quite earn a full post of their own, but were too stoopid to ignore altogether. We find they go down a lot easier if you’re heavily anaesthetized — if you can’t find alcohol, a couple whacks with a large cartoon mallet may do the job. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sleaze

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly collection of cranky crap that wasn’t worth a full post, but was too incandescently stoopid to ignore altogether. First up, Bryan Fischer told all his followers on Twitter today to go read this shocking billion-word exposé of what Teh Ghey is really all about, as explained by Ronald G. Lee, a Catholic gay guy who discovered that for all the talk of gay marriage, and for that matter, of “gay culture,” the only thing really going on among gay people is constant promiscuous sex and porn. He has even discovered the perfect metaphor to explain this indisputable science fact: When he was a grad student in Austin, he went to Lobo’s, a “gay” bookstore that had “gay” fiction and poetry, “gay” memoirs, and books about the “gay rights” movement in the front of the store (happily, he mostly gives up the scare quotes after the first couple paragraphs), but the back of the store, in “a section not visible from the street” was where the real money got made, because that’s where all the porn was. And all that stuff in the front was just a façade, but a vital façade (metaphor time here!): Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sleaze…
  It's Ok Because My Black Friend Told Me Once

Wisconsin Pol: Why Do We Care About Kwanzaa When It Wasn’t Even on The Cosby Show?

Do you yearn for a time when the day after Christmas was all about throwing your useless wrapping paper into the man-made canal behind your house, instead of marking the beginning of the white, leftist holiday of Kwanzaa with a ceremonial dangling of the American flag inches above a lit Kinara? Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman does too, which is why he’s thrown together a little press release with his fancy, newfangled “pen and paper” to ask the important question, “Why Must We Still Talk About Kwanzaa?” Read more on Wisconsin Pol: Why Do We Care About Kwanzaa When It Wasn’t Even on The Cosby Show?…
  war on christmas

Take Bill O’Reilly’s Heathen ‘Holiday’ Quiz About Afrikans!

HATS OFF to esteemed thing Parade for this sexy clip art collage of a mall Santa preparing to bone claymation Rudolph who is stepping on Bill O’Reilly as black people do their black African holiday whatevers in the background. The Jew Cookies see it all. This masterpiece, folks, accompanies “Bill O’Reilly’s Great American Holiday Quiz,” because suddenly you’re NOT ALLOWED to say “Merry Christmas” anymore, in America, because of the Prop 8 protesters. Read more on Take Bill O’Reilly’s Heathen ‘Holiday’ Quiz About Afrikans!…
 

George W. Bush’s Kwanzaa War On Christmas

Whatever Kwanzaa is, most experts say it’s definitely not about worshiping the little white baby in the snowy forest who grows up to be a crucified guy in Judea. That’s why god-fearing Americans are understandably furious that the supposedly-Born Again president thinks it’s just fine to also worship whatever Kwanzaa worships — probably pagan African things, or Islam! Read more on George W. Bush’s Kwanzaa War On Christmas…