Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi got to go back to the rumored land of her ancestors. No, not Russia, Africa! Her last trip there was a royal dud, but this time she brought along friends: the boss, his wife, Josh Bolten, etc., and she got to see the boss dance! She got a pretty sash! She got molested by scary natives! And then she got back and nobody cared. Relive the magic, after the jump…

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Those crazy Kosovars! Their little declaration of independence has caused quite the shitstorm — not just among the great powers who are wrangling over whether to recognize them or not, but among the world’s other pissant quasi-countries, who are mad that they didn’t get to do it first. Palestinian presidential aide Yasser Abed Rabbo whinily declared that “Kosovo is not better than us. We deserve independence even before Kosovo!” — and it’s probably more true for his blighted semi-occupied wasteland than most. This week, The Foreigns will take you on a tour of the world’s saddest unrecognized not-countries. MORE »

Kosovo was this little place in Eastern Europe where there was some war thing we got involved in, like, a decade ago. In any case, not that much has changed politically there because no one but the Serbs and the Kosovians really cared about anything but no more fighting. But, in that decade, the Kosovians managed to get a couple key backers for their peaceful break from Serbia — the U.S. and Germany. Both nations reportedly plan to back Kosovo’s declaration of independence from Serbia when they make it after the Serbian elections in February. And, um, also, this guy will be their peacefully elected prime minister. His name is Hashim Thaci and there’s about to be a new entrant in the race to see who the hottest head of state is in 2008. [International Herald Tribune]

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week’s edition of The Foreigns: They’re Just Like Us! Our goal as always is to prove that we Americans and those foreign Foreigns have nothing to fear from one another, and that under our variously colored skins, we’re really more alike than different. For instance, did you know that, like you, the Foreigns can’t get enough of the infectious 2002 smash hit single “In da club?” Also like you, they have ludicrously misguided ideas about AIDS, are racists, and are high as fucking kites. Join us for a guided tour of depravity, after the jump! MORE »

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was totally topsy-turvy in Condiland, but not really in a fun way. There was that NIE thingy which made a lot of people uptight, an absolutely awful trip to Africa, which experts tell us is the land of her ancestors, and then on to Brussels, where half the people wouldn’t shut up about Iran, and the other half nagged her about the possibly fictional land of Kosovo. But first! Gay rumors! Relive the memories of photo-ops past after the jump!

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