Wonkette

Ever since the Bingo Hall (Clinton campaign HQ) closed, we’ve experienced a tragic drop-off in whimsical nutball emails. So it was with both gratitude and relief that we opened this gem today. Apparently we should not watch any movies with Scarlett Johansson in them, because it upsets the parents of her clone, or something. Maybe this is one of them viral marketing dealies, for The Island, three years late? Or maybe this chick really is a clone, which sort of makes sense: the blank expression, the monotone … Full frontal kookiness after the jump. MORE »

Bush-groping robot-loving Foster MILF Michele Bachmann is America’s favorite Republican lady congressperson from Minnesota, but is the baby-farming beauty getting busy with a fellow lawmaker who is not her husband? Read the hot rumor that is suddenly sweeping the state, after the jump. MORE »

Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann recently took a little break from her baby-farming to remind voters of how crazy she is. She assured her constituents that God had not abandoned them in Iraq and called global warming “voodoo.” She also warned them about a terrible place called “Democrat land” where something is horrifically wrong with the phone systems. More gibberish after the jump. MORE »

Attention child pornography fans! Are you planning your next vacation? You’ll be in good company in Virginia, where over 20,000 computers contain your preferred reading materials! MORE »

Richard Armitage, formerly of the State Department, is now more or less outed as the first guy to tell the first reporter who Valerie Plame worked for. Much, much, much more interesting: WTF was he doing meeting with TOM CRUISE the SAME DAY? Along with two Church of Scientology bigwigs? We demand the lapdog press look into this. MORE »