Tag Archives: koch industries

  Save The Drilling Rigs Save The World

Fox Host To Grads: Want To Save The World? Go Work For Big Oil

From 'Children's shows we never watched, Volume 3'
It’s Graduation Season, and time for all kinds of inspiring thoughts from Olds to Youngs, mostly aimed at telling the Youngs to not fuck things up as badly as the Olds did. One exception, of course, was Kurt Vonnegut, who reminded graduates at Bennington in 1970 that they couldn’t possibly hope to save the world because they had no money or power: “You don’t even know how to handle dynamite.” But he nonetheless urged them, once they did gain some money and power, to work for a form of socialist government. That’s still much better advice than the thoughts on success ladled out by two of Fox’s The Five Monday. Read more on Fox Host To Grads: Want To Save The World? Go Work For Big Oil…
  Kochsplaining

Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!

Is he even Catholic?
While most of the world is trying to figure out what to do about this whole climate change thing before it’s too late and we are all OOPS! dead, the concerned citizens at the completely objective Heartland Institute, which happens to be funded by the also very objective Koch brothers, are looking out for more important things, like teaching Pope Francis that God loves pollution: Read more on Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!…
  Your Lump Of Christmas Clean Coal

Dumb New Mexico Hippies Refusing To Burn Their Fair Share Of Coal

Princess Celestia is going to be SO pissed about this...
Image by Daniel Nadelbach, Mother Earth Living In what’s just the latest of several similar moves to make customers who have rooftop solar electricity systems “pay their fair share” for being less polluting, the largest utility in New Mexico, PNM Resources, has proposed a surcharge on home solar customers, aimed at keeping those damned greenies from getting a free ride for the cost of their connection to the power grid. Read more on Dumb New Mexico Hippies Refusing To Burn Their Fair Share Of Coal…
  Another Beneficiary Of Wingnut Welfare

Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny.

Finally a place for his talents
Congratulations to disgraced torturer ex-Rep. Allen West on finding a jerb! (We were going to say “honest work,” but this is Allen West we’re talking about, after all.) According to a big ol’ press release, come Jan. 2, 2015, the former disgraced colonel and former one-term congressman will become CEO of the “National Center for Policy Analysis,” a Dallas-based think tank that shills for the oil and insurance industries and thinks that global warming is a big conspiracy. And yes, it probably gets money from Koch Industries, too. Read more on Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny….
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates The Koch Brothers, Through A Window

We detect sarcasm
The Daily Show has a new advertiser, and it is Koch Industries, owned by those “lovable scamps” Charles and David. Jon Stewart graciously and very sincerely welcomes the new sponsor, who is simply trying to appeal to Stewart’s “not yet dying” audience. And how does he describe Koch’s charming ad about how heartland American the company is? Read more on Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates The Koch Brothers, Through A Window…
  war forever

Wisconsin Becomes Orgy of Chaos As Recall Elections Begin

The forces of good and evil resume their bilious clouded swirl over the state of Wisconsin today as primary voters go to cast votes in the state’s recall elections against six of Scott Walker’s senate puppets, and it is already just an orgy of dead fetuses and robots. Robocalls possibly from Wisconsin “Right to Life” are reportedly going out to voters telling them to stay home or to vote for fake candidates. We say “fake candidates” because Wisconsin allows open primaries, which means the Republicans are trying to confuse the electoral process by running fake drone candidates against Democratic candidates. So pay attention, Wisconsin voters, and don’t pick the one with pupils that won’t close and the Koch Industries logo tattooed on the back of the head.   Read more on Wisconsin Becomes Orgy of Chaos As Recall Elections Begin…
  everybody just go move to canada

Democrats Forget They Hate Koch Bros. Long Enough To Ask For Money

What do Democrats and Republicans have in common these days, besides a total disinterest in governance and a massive crush on Twitter slapfights? They both love those sweet-tasting Koch bucks printed on paper made of ground orphans. DSCC Chairwoman Sen. Patty Murray called up Koch Industries and left a voicemail asking for the Kochs to renew their $30,000 DSCC donation from last year, oh and, would those nice Koch boys like to join the Democrats for a special summer picnic retreat? Uh, go kochsuck somewhere else, was the public reply from Koch Industries president Philip Ellender, who is still laughing. Are we amused, also? Kind of, except it is more like a horrible burning sensation. Can this filthy kind of Koch humor give you herpes? Read more on Democrats Forget They Hate Koch Bros. Long Enough To Ask For Money…