Tag: Koch brothers

Your Weekly Top Ten Is All HEY, SARAH PALIN, HEY!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW.
Not really the whole planet. Just the life on it. Know any?

Trump To Planet: Drop Dead :D

It was a nice biosphere while it lasted.
This child can't stand Maureen Dowd either

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, September 7, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 9, 2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

Your Senate Sunday: Florida’s U.S. Senate Race About As Screwy As Everything Else In Florida

Florida's having another election. Please tighten your safety belts and assume your crash positions.

Dead Scalia Saves Unions

We're happy to say we saw this coming: with Antonin Scalia's vote now completely hypothetical (despite the best hopes of some loonies), the Supreme Court voted in a 4-4 tie on a major case that could have stripped public...

New Hampshire’s Kelly Ayotte And Maggie Hassan Gonna Lady-Fight For Senate Seat

Happy Easter, Wonkers! We hope you have all been inspired by the annual rites celebrating the rebirth of pagan fertility gods as distilled through Christian cultural hegemony. Or that you'll at least chow down on half-priced chocolate bunnies tomorrow....
It's almost as if we wanted one of these gents to look bad.

Russ Feingold Seeks To Retake Senate Seat From Teabagger Crapsack Ron Johnson

We've got another fun Senate race for you this week, kids, and this one's actually a rematch: In Wisconsin, former Sen. Russ Feingold wants to win back the seat that teabagger, would-be Obamacare-murderer, and all around schmuck Ron Johnson...

No, Chuck Todd, Bernie And Hillary Will Not Brawl To The Death For Your Amusement

Though Thursday night's Democratic Debate saw a lot of actual fighting between Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, it might have been more notable for the aggression that didn't happen. Specifically, Bern and Hill's repeated refusal to engage when professional...

Hugh Hefner Will Let You Live In His Playboy Mansion Jizz House For $200 Million

Wouldn't it be nice to come home after a hard day running a drug cartel or being Beyoncé or ruining all of America because you're a Koch brother, and having meaningful chit-chats about life and boys and stuff, with...
PEW! PEW! PEW!

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Wants To Kill The Constitution Dead. Pew Pew Pew!

Texas Governor Greg Abbott knows what's gone wrong with American government: it's let the Constitution get completely out of control! There's the Supreme Court telling the gays they deserve equal protection under the law, even when that grosses out...

Scott Walker Finally Able To Ensure All Elections In Wisconsin Will Be Rigged

Do you remember Scott Walker? He was one of the eleventy billion people running for the GOP nomination, and we were actually worried about him winning because he managed to seem slightly less bloodthirsty and craven than the rest of...
The Nashville skyline has a building what looks like Batman, what does YOUR dumb city have?

Koch Brothers Protect White Nashville Ladies From Scary Blacks Riding Buses

Nashville is a fast-growing city that looks like it was originally designed by a toddler on meth who just REALLY loves circles. The traffic there? ES BAD! But at least downtown is in the middle. Memphis, on the other...
Hey, what do I know?

Dumb A-Hole Scott Walker Not Going To Be President, Just Like We Told You

Recall, if you will, the puppy days of summer, when we told you dumb a-hole Scott Walker was not going to be president. We had many fine reasons at the time, like how nobody was impressed that he's traveled...
Bringin' back the good old days

Scott Walker Revives Campaign With Promise To Bring Back Sweatshops

Scott Walker -- described, in an edition of the Encyclopedia Galactica that conveniently fell through a rift in the time-space continuum from 1000 years in the future, as "a mindless jerk who was first against the wall when the revolution came" -- has a...
I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Fox News Has Thoughts On Kim Davis. They Are Strangely Interesting Thoughts!

So, the other day, we showed you a video of a nice panel discussion on the Fox News, about how Kentucky clerk Kim Davis's lawyer Mat Staver is "ridiculously stupid," and we remarked that when a wingnut has lost...