Tag Archives: kkk

  This Was A Real Nice Klanbake

KKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists

Ghostbusters? Now there's some heritage we can respect
As promised, on Saturday, the Loyal White Knights Who Say “Ni” of the Ku Klux Klan traveled from North Carolina to Columbia, South Carolina, to hold their Great Big Sadfest over the removal of the Confederate flag from the Statehouse grounds. As it happened — one of those little coinicidences, we guess — the 50 or so Klansmen, who showed up without their robes were at the Capitol near the end of a nearby “Countering the Attack on Black Unity Rally” that had started before the Klan’s little hatefest. The Black Unity rally was organized by “Black Lawyers for Justice and Black Educators for Justice, a Florida organization with links to the New Black Panther Party,” according to MSNBC, and while the two groups were separated by barriers, they were still within megaphone distance of each other. Some of the counter-protesters managed to grab a Klansman’s precious Confederate flag and rip it to pieces, and although at least one fistfight broke out, there were no serious injuries. Read more on KKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists…
  Here have some news n stuff

All Of U.S. America Was A Total Sh*t Show, How Was Your Weekend?

Oh sorry, it's not
So. It is work o’clock, Monday morning, and you’re eco-commuting to your job and sipping your vegan free trade zen tea, made with real zen, and scrolling through your iDevice to find out hmm, did anything of import happen this weekend? Because maybe you were not on the interwebs; instead, you were taking the kids to soccer practice, or perhaps drinking alone with your cat, or downing some hair of the dog with your sunglasses on — inside. Not that we’re judging. Read more on All Of U.S. America Was A Total Sh*t Show, How Was Your Weekend?…
  greetings from america’s limp penis!

It Was A Bad Week To Go To The Grocery Store: Your Florida Roundup

Florida, for all of its many demerits, has one thing going for it: Publix, a chain of truly excellent grocery stores that stretches throughout the Southeast (Protip: There is no sub quite like a Publix deli sub). But every so often, the reality of Florida creeps in to this paradise of sundries. Exhibit A: The above fight in an Orlando Publix aisle, over, well, very Florida things: Read more on It Was A Bad Week To Go To The Grocery Store: Your Florida Roundup…
  Scar Strangled Banner

South Carolina Removes Confederate Treason Flag That U.S. House Republicans Can’t Quit

Time to put that sucker out
It took 13 hours of debate and disposing of a boatload of dumb amendments designed to slow down the process, but the South Carolina House of Representatives finally voted — at 1 AM Eastern Thursday — to remove the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds. And for all the angry talk about slaps in the face of the honored Confederate dead, the vote wasn’t even close: 94-20, well more than the 2/3 majority necessary under the state’s stupid flag law. The bill is headed to Gov. Nikki Haley, who has said she would sign it, and the flag should be removed by the weekend, even despite the very real risk that the Devil will take over our great land because of gay marriage. Read more on South Carolina Removes Confederate Treason Flag That U.S. House Republicans Can’t Quit…
  Afterbirth of a Nation

Come Make Lifelong Friends And Learn New Skills At The KKK’s Funtimes Summer Camp!

revolution all day. party all white
Are you a bored American looking to salvage the summer with a memorable camp experience? Sure you are. But are you also an impressionable young mind who wants nothing to do with sports, building houses, or miscegenation? Then you’re in luck, little ticking time bomb. Because America’s Very Own Ku Klux Klan has just the place for you. Read more on Come Make Lifelong Friends And Learn New Skills At The KKK’s Funtimes Summer Camp!…
  Tragical History Sewer

New Texas Textbooks Love The Confederacy (And Their Sisters) So Much

This is not an actual Texas schoolbook. This illustration has been chosen for its humorous hyperbole. Please complain on Facebook about this illustration.
Hey, just in time for the post-4th-of-July reminders that school starts up again far too soon, comes this Washington Post story about the brand new history books that will be hitting Texas classrooms in the fall. As we’ve noted previously, the Texas Board of Education adopted some fun new history standards in 2010, and the final products of all that hard work to ensure that children know that Moses wrote the Constitution are finally on the way! We can hardly wait to get our hands on a copy! Read more on New Texas Textbooks Love The Confederacy (And Their Sisters) So Much…
  Civil Whites March

KKK Throwing Totally Non-Racist Confederate Flag Party At South Carolina Capitol

Hello KKKitty
In South Carolina, the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan are planning to rally in support of the Confederate flag at the South Carolina Statehouse July 18. Yr Wonkette is wholly in favor of the event, since it will be the first completely honest show of support for the treason rag. We love Bree Newsome, the woman who climbed up and pulled the flag down Saturday, but the Klan’s support may actually be far more effective at getting the flag permanently removed from the Statehouse. Read more on KKK Throwing Totally Non-Racist Confederate Flag Party At South Carolina Capitol…
  Sunday In The Park With George Wallace

If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins

If you put a different name on this, it's the same as blowing it up!
Now that Tennessee has murdered the Confederate flag on license plates, and is giving serious thought to removing a bust of Confederate general and founding KKK member Nathan Bedford Forrest from the Capitol building, some Democrats in the state legislature think maybe it would be a good idea to change the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park. The park was established in 1963, when for some reason there was a regular mania for naming things after Confederate heroes, but now some people think there’s no good reason to sully a lovely recreational area with camping and hiking trails by keeping it named after a guy generally thought to be the Klan’s first Grand Wizard. Read more on If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins…
  Sue the bastard

Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes’ Birthdays?

Jesus was a party animal.
Time for a dispatch from the ever-changing, goalposts-moving definition of the phrase “religious freedom.” All these whiny bitchy wingnuts have been protesting that they DO NOT EITHER hate the gays, but it violates their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs™ to do things like “participate in” gay weddings, by making cakes or flowers or pizzas for them. And if you make them do that, you are literally Holocausting them, and they know Jesus will send them right to hell for it, because Jesus Is Love. So here’s a story that will show y’all what a lie that is! Read more on Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes’ Birthdays?…
  Teach us oh white people!

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.
Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something — anything! — to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on from this tragedy. Because they care so much, honest! Should we cut off their food stamps? Give everybody more guns, so they can Stand Their Ground? Send them all some more Jesus, and good dads like Rand Paul? Well, worry not, because there are still more turd ideas to throw at the wall, so here is this week’s roundup of White Wingnut Wisdom for Baltimorean Blacks! Read more on How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?…
  Clean-up on aisle six

Let’s Jizz All Over The Walmart: Your Florida Roundup

Dumber than a speeding bullet
Lots of hot, fresh Florida Man action this week! Let’s dive right in and see what trouble he’s gotten himself into this time. Cited For Inappropriate Usage Of Floridian Genitals So … ever been at a Walmart, seen a purrrty lady walk by, and decided you needed to choke the chicken right fucking there? No? Meet 20-year-old jerker-offer Taylor Davis, who flogged the bishop and then wiped the, um, byproduct on a couple of Hefty trash bag boxes: Read more on Let’s Jizz All Over The Walmart: Your Florida Roundup…
  The KKK Took My Baby Away And Ate My Homework

Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!

Even the far-left liberal blog Wonkette says you don't get a free pass over art that bothers you
The University of Iowa has urged faculty members to let students miss or re-take tests if they were upset over some campus art that was SUPER RACIST (because it addressed racism). Apparently some students were so broken up over either the artwork itself — or the controversy surrounding its removal by the university — that they simply couldn’t get their schoolwork done. Letting students ignore their assignments because they had really strong feelings about a work of art strikes us as maybe a bad idea? Read more on Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!…
  Butt I can't even see race!

Tennessee Lawmaker Lady Named Butt Not Racist, Just Loves White People

Gather round, little children, your Tennessee Wonkette has a nice story for you! It is about one of our august state representatives, a gentlelady by the name of Sheila Butt, who once said there would be no global warming if we used more hairspray, but this is not about that. This is about the fact that Sheila is Not Racist. Everybody is being mean to her and saying she is racist, though, because she went on the Facebook recently to comment on a nice note from the Council on American-Islamic Relations encouraging Republicans to stop hating Muslims so much. Butt said what we REALLY NEED is a “Council on Christian Relations” and a “NAAWP,” which some dumb liberal media types are dumbly and liberally assuming might stand for National Association For The Advancement Of White People, but they are wrong. Read more on Tennessee Lawmaker Lady Named Butt Not Racist, Just Loves White People…
  Only White Creme Allowed

‘Time To Make The Donuts’ — The KKK

What do they have against the Kappa Kappa Kappas?
Delicious fried lard conglomerate Krispy Kreme is in trouble in the UK for a Facebook promotion issued by its Hull branch. The flyer was intended to advertise upcoming events at the local heart attack emporium, including face painting and the company’s official fan club. Neat! Problem is nobody told these guys it might be a bad idea to name your official fan club the Krispy Kreme Klub, and to advertise its meeting nights as KKK Wednesdays. Presumably, the only donuts sold that night would be the vanilla ones. Read more on ‘Time To Make The Donuts’ — The KKK…
  David is actually a Jewish name

OG Hip-Hop-Head David Duke Reviews New Album By Nicki Minaj And The Jews

yasss nicki, work/slay
In the wake of her critically and commercially well-received third album, The Pinkprint, Nicki Minaj gave a wide-ranging interview to Rolling Stone. When the discussion turned to the killing of unarmed black people, Minaj gave an explanation as to why she thought more hip hop artists didn’t speak out, citing Kanye West’s infamous critique of George W. Bush during a Hurricane Katrina telethon: Read more on OG Hip-Hop-Head David Duke Reviews New Album By Nicki Minaj And The Jews…
  what about WHITE history month

You Know Who Needs To Rebrand? The KKK, Which Is All About Love

white fang
Let’s face it: while white supremacy and racism is still pretty popular in the United States, actually SAYING you’re a white supremacist racist is manifestly UNpopular, and looks to remain that way for a little while at least. So you really can’t blame the Ku Klux Klan for its recent PR and rebranding campaign, in which they desperately insist that they aren’t racists because how gauche, unfashionable, and completely unmarketable. Instead of being known as a group that hates everyone who isn’t white for not being white, they want to be known as a group that loves white people for being white. The latest salvo in this rather pathetic campaign is this billboard Klan affiliate The Knights Party has erected in the town of Harrison, Arkansas. Read more on You Know Who Needs To Rebrand? The KKK, Which Is All About Love…