kim jong il
Just as millions of decent people around the world were marking the death of revolutionary Czech philosopher/playwright (and former president) Vaclav Havel with the realization that it is very rare to actually mourn a public figure’s death, North Korean clown-monster Kim Jong Il kicked the bucket, and the world found it could laugh again. What [...]
China’s former president has gone all “Kim Jong Ill” on everyone and now the entire Internet is fighting about whether or not ex-leader Jiang Zemin being missing from a public photo-op means he is automatically dead. China “sorta” denied it and censors are furiously blocking searches of “Jiang Zemin” on its Sina Corp. Chinese Twitter-thingy. [...]
According to diplomacy nip-slip site WikiLeaks, North Korea loves Eric Clapton and wants him to perform in their country as a Clapton-American favor of “good will,” which is what North Koreans call temporarily halting their development of nuclear weapons and targeting of South Koreans to shoot in exchange for free stuff from the West. Or [...]
They know how to do politics right in North Korea: No voting, no campaigns, no food for the citizens, etc. And Lil’ Kim Jong Il just surprised everybody at his big fancy Royal Banquet by announcing that his dumb son Very Lil Kim Junior the 2nd will be the brand new most loved Dear Leader [...]
Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]
Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU [...]
Oh, thank you, North Korean YouTube, that almost looks like a real news segment! Yes, Kim Jong-il gets to paste together another fun photo collage of him with a former American president, and America gets back one of its citizens. It’s a win-win situation! So Jimmy Carter has arrived, and here he is receiving flowers [...]
One of the things we all loved about Communism in theory was that it was going to provide, like, a radical alternative to everything about how our economy works, man. But in practice communist countries generally work a lot like capitalist countries, but with less toilet paper, and with money with pictures of ghastly brutalist [...]
Here’s North Korean midget Kim Jong Il playing “Know Your Cuts of Meat.”
Erick Erickson insists upon a Great Purge to keep the GOP pure. Erick, you sick sick Stalinist bastard! [RedState] Sarah Palin is “ready” to be “president,” according to “Rush” “Limbaugh.” [Gateway Pundit] Who else is on the CIA payroll, besides Ahmed Wali Karzai and Luis Posada Carriles? The answer will not surprise you in the [...]
NO, SORRY, WE CANNOT FULLY MOCK THIS TRAGIC PAJAMAS TEEVEE MOVIE: As much as we like to take requests from young conservative portions of the Internet during “Monday Fun Lunch Hour,” this terrible Pajamas TV thing, where their token black guy gets tortured by Nancy Pelosi and Kim Jong Il, is just impossible to finish. [...]
You know how some business trips end up with everybody naked in the hot tub singing Don’t Stop Believin’, and others end with everybody awkwardly standing around making small talk while furtively glancing at their watches? Bill Clinton’s North Korea summer vacation trip likely falls into the latter category, which is a historical first for [...]
BILL CLINTON SAVES LADIES FROM NORTH KOREA: Uhh, hooray! In a “private mission” rife with secret diplomatic motives and back-door conversations with the U.S. government, Bill Clinton hopped on a jetplane to North Korea, talked up Kim Jong Il for a while, probably offered him exclusive bidding rights to various natural resource contracts in autocratic [...]
Oh hey did you hear crazy dwarf-alien Kim Jong-Il has been shooting rockets into the sea, by North Korea? No? ARE YOU SILLY AMERICANS SO OBSESSED WITH THE DEATH OF KING-POP MICHAEL JACKSON AS TO NOT FOLLOW NORTH KOREA’S MIGHTY THREATS? Well, Lil’ Kim wants you to know he is twice as weird as Wacko [...]
