Li’l Giuliani Loves Barack Obama, Seagram’s Coolers
Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
Yesterday the nation shrugged at the news that Rudy offspring Caroline Giuliani was on Facebook and might support Barack Obama. Slate broke the story in a prize-worthy feat of investigative social network searching. But we wanted more: as everyone knows, Facebook is designed to aide in the hooking-up process and also to document totally bitchin parties. While we may never know which of Caroline’s pokes ended in pokings, anyone with access to her profile should have a window into her partying ways. Thankfully, one commenter came through, and provided the now-requisite pictures of a candidate’s child drinking underage.
Yesterday the nation shrugged at the news that Rudy offspring Caroline Giuliani was on Facebook and might support Barack Obama. Slate broke the story in a prize-worthy feat of investigative social network searching. But we wanted more: as everyone knows, Facebook is designed to aide in the hooking-up process and also to document totally bitchin parties. While we may never know which of Caroline’s pokes ended in pokings, anyone with access to her profile should have a window into her partying ways. Thankfully, one commenter came through, and provided the now-requisite pictures of a candidate’s child drinking underage.
Shame on Slate. Shame on them for invading the privacy of young Caroline Giuliani, daughter of Rudy, and publishing this screengrab just so we can all giggle at how she supports Barack Obama. Shame on them for making political hay out of Rudy’s messy family life, mocking his poor estranged child. Shame on them, most of all, for not showing us any of the 207 other photos of Caroline listed, some of which surely involve 
Barry Hussein wants this terrifying furry to teach your 6-year-old about “bad touching.” [
Did you know that there are ten Congresswomen with little kids?? It’s true! Ten ladies strutting around voting for shit when they should be at home raising their poor children! 
A petulant little girl tried to shame the President at a Cleveland Q&A on Tuesday. Jessica Hackerd, 13, had Bush right where she wanted him. Defeated and confused, Bush had just finished his rambling remarks when young Jessica pounced. She went right for his weak spot with a pointed question about the recently-defeated immigration bill, the final nail in the coffin of the President’s domestic legacy. 
Tomas “The Tanc Engine” Tancredo is taking Iowa by storm as hicks across our nation’s second-boringest state thrill to his message of banning brown people once and for all. To help drum up the natives even more, “Tanc and Tonic” is holding an ol’ fashioned child exploitation contest. 
During an Iowa campaign stop, 9-year-old Emma Claire Edwards made 
Perfect for the newest Cheney’s trips to the beach, chilling at the pool, or field trips to Iraqi prisons!
Whether you’re a 50-year-old American captain killed in Iraq or a 33-year-old Egyptian hijacker flying into the World Trade Center, George W. Bush considers you “kids.” 