Wonkette

Well, this is the topper. Barack Obama cannot be the American president because he refuses to participate in our glorious national tradition of giving our children lots of expensive plastic shit for them to choke on all the time. These communist Obamas throw birthday parties for their tots but do not give them actual presents. What other subversive values are the Obamas teaching their children? MORE »

Wonkette’s own Liz Glover took her video camera and Polaroid to an April 1 party for “Our America,” a thing to help the low-income youth. As you can imagine, the powerful D.C. media wanted nothing to do with this (poor black kids are such downers), but John Kerry was there! MORE »

When Barry Hussein Obama becomes the world’s Enlightened Prince of Hope next year, people will be literally lining up to get their new permanent Obamaworld tattoos, on their foreheads. Obama’s campaign has already produced a staggering array of Obama-logo variations for every race and birthplace and interest. The “mark of the Beast” has never looked so good! MORE »

I can’t tell which kid it was in the picture, but Mike Huckabee’s son John Mark — the one who didn’t kill the dog — might have had quite the porn stash while attending Ouachita Baptist University, from where he graduated in 2000. Totes hilare details from a witness, after the jump. MORE »

Joel Stein has an op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times today bemoaning the current state of Halloween, in which he laments the fact that the once kid-friendly Satanic festival has been ruinously besmirched by adults running around dressed as sexy nurses, libidinous witches, randy stewardesses, etc. etc. This year, of course, it’ll be even worse when every single party will be befouled by at least one toe-tapping, stall-bound senator. Blah, blah, blah, we hear this stuff every year, right? But then, unexpectedly, Stein comes up with the most wonderful idea! Why not save Halloween for the little bastards by creating a new holiday for adults: Slut Day! We’re listening. MORE »

Which not-gay Romney son is your favorite? Meet them all, after the jump!

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Ohio State Rep. Matthew Barrett, addressing a high school civics class yesterday, inserted a memory stick into his computer and claimed to be shocked when a picture of a naked lady was immediately projected before the class. When police questioned Barrett about the incident, he said he got the stick three weeks ago from the state Library of Ohio. And he knew nothing at all about the entire directory of porn on it. [AP]

* 1. Bush declares Oct. 1 “Child Health Day.”
* 2. Bush vetoes children’s health care bill.

Anne Kristol, daughter of Bill, granddaughter of Irving, is aboard the Freddie Thompson Express! Has Fred announced his intention to make permanent war with Iran forever yet?

(Worst = Goldbergs, btw)

Seriously? No party? The terrorists have won.
Twins Born on 9/11/01 [CNN]

Yesterday the nation shrugged at the news that Rudy offspring Caroline Giuliani was on Facebook and might support Barack Obama. Slate broke the story in a prize-worthy feat of investigative social network searching. But we wanted more: as everyone knows, Facebook is designed to aide in the hooking-up process and also to document totally bitchin parties. While we may never know which of Caroline’s pokes ended in pokings, anyone with access to her profile should have a window into her partying ways. Thankfully, one commenter came through, and provided the now-requisite pictures of a candidate’s child drinking underage.

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Shame on Slate. Shame on them for invading the privacy of young Caroline Giuliani, daughter of Rudy, and publishing this screengrab just so we can all giggle at how she supports Barack Obama. Shame on them for making political hay out of Rudy’s messy family life, mocking his poor estranged child. Shame on them, most of all, for not showing us any of the 207 other photos of Caroline listed, some of which surely involve drinking or smoking up. If you’re going to sink to our level, guys, sink all the way.

Daddy Dearest [Slate]

Barry Hussein wants this terrifying furry to teach your 6-year-old about “bad touching.” [Swampland]

Did you know that there are ten Congresswomen with little kids?? It’s true! Ten ladies strutting around voting for shit when they should be at home raising their poor children! Just look at the list of shame:

The 10 congresswomen with children under 13: Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), Mary Landrieu (D-La.), Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.), Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tex.) and Reps. Kathy Castor (D-Fla.), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio), Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.), Heather Wilson (R-N.M.), Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.)

The Post tells us all about them today, from how Debbie Wasserman Shultz ignored her deathly ill 8-year-old to gallavant to New York for a fundraiser to how Heather Wilson hates Nancy Pelosi for making her work as much as a real working mother. And their lousy spoiled kids are interrupting Senate business:

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