kids
Ghost Michael Jackson’s Abortion Jamz
MJ fans! Rejoice! The 25th Anniversary remaster of Bad came out on Tuesday, and it is AWESOME. Remastered, digitally perfect versions of songs like Bad, The Way You Make Me Feel, Smooth Criminal…and eight previously unreleased tracks including Song Groove! Oh, excuse me, I should probably refer to that track by its real name: Abortion Papers. [...]
Fat Chicago Cop Chokes Kid Out to Rousing Applause of ‘Fox Nation’
Here is a kid probably being an asshole. He is all aggro and in this fat cop’s face even while some pretty girl with long luscious hair tries to stop him by distracting him with her young nubile body. Yup, total jerkwad move, kid. We get it, you have testosterone now. Maybe go smoke a [...]
Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks
Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America’s Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of [...]
Kids Don’t Eat Free In the District, Even If It Saves Lives
Thursday, June 11: DC has a few issues — high dropout and teen pregnancy rates, an AIDS epidemic, never-ending nonsensical violent crime — but there’s nothing that a cooking competition can’t fix! Get some kids in a room, have them cook a meal made of “surprise’ ingredients,” make some top DC chefs judge the thing, [...]
Falling TVs Are This Week’s Swine Flu
OK so President Obama may have weathered his first hundred days, a pirate attack, the pig AIDS, and the collapse of our financial and automotive sectors, but can he stand up to the nation’s latest Great Menace? We refer, of course, to an epidemic of falling televisions.
Wonkette Bothers John Kerry, For The Kids!
Huckabee’s Other Son Loves Him Some Porno
An Endorsement for “Slut Day”
Meet the Romneys
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