Tag: kfc

Happy 55th Birthday, President Obama! Check Out These Badass Senior Discounts We Found You!

We are just being silly, Obama is not old! But he does qualify for a bunch of good deals, and we think he'd be a fool to pass them up.

Donald Trump’s Crimes Against Food Cannot Go Unanswered

Donald Trump is a horrific amalgamation of spray-tan contents, bile, and discarded golden retriever hair -- on this, we can all agree. He's advocated for war crimes, spoken out against the First Amendment, and committed atrocities against decency almost...

More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. Today, we've got one of the classics: stories of fantastically dumb restaurant customers. As always, these are real emails...

English Wingnuts Protect Their Beloved Land From ‘Mosque’ That Actually Was A KFC

From Merrie Olde Englande comes this bit of costly stupid: A documentary is set to reveal on Monday how UK police spent £500,000 ($852,000) to control an English Defense League (EDL) far-Right protest against a planned mosque, which happened...

KFC Gives $30K Apology To Little Girl In Today’s Happy Links!

Whew! What a day it's been! We've got singing mayors, sorry restaurants, and sexy boobs! Get into the magic, the beauty, the mayhem and the luscious madness of today's Happy Nice Time People goodness. It's piping hot, and at...

KFC Corporate Headquarters Briefly Restores Faith In Humanity (No, We Are Serious)

You know what sucks? People. All people. Everywhere. (Well, except you beautiful people reading this here blog.) But there is a special place in imaginary hell for the patrons of KFC in Jackson, Mississippi. A three-year-old girl got attacked...

Godzilla Crushes Camper Van Beethoven And More In These Afternoon Happy Links

We hepped you to the terrifying reality of the Kentucky Fried Chicken corsage. Perfect for prom! We genuinely do wish we liked El Camino Real, the new record by the venerable Camper Van Beethoven, a bit more. We watched the Nashville...

Enhance Your Child’s Prom Experience By Making Them Wear A Piece Of KFC Chicken Strapped To Their Wrist

Perhaps you have a teenager getting ready for prom. You will of course be adorning them in the finest camouflage dresses that money can buy, but what about a corsage? Why not pick something classic, something that can be...

Hilarious Buttons At California Republican Convention Highlight Hillary Clinton’s Fatal Unsexiness

HuffPo reports that these buttons were for sale at a "VIP reception area" at a California Republican Party convention this weekend. The San Francisco Chronicle's Carla Marinucci tweeted the photo and noted that the display had been removed...

Here Is How You Do Your Non-Apology Apology For Fried-Chicken-Related Racist Facebook Posts, GOP

Are you having a bummer of a day? Maybe work seems like it will never end, or maybe your lumbago is flaring, or maybe it's just that a black man is president. In any of those cases, we have...

Poor, Stupid Americans Outsource Fire Hydrant Repair To KFC

Some six thousand years ago, when George Washington and Jesus were walking through colonial Williamsburg with their friends the dinosaurs, our Founding Fathers wrote a Constitution laying out a broad vision for what government should and shouldn’t do in...

Conservative Think Tank Apologizes For Posting Image of Obama Eating KFC In Sex Chains

John Hood, president of the conservative North Carolina-based John Locke Foundation, has apologized for a very special graphic that one of his bloggers, "Hot Talk WRNN co-host Tara Servatius," included in her post for the think tank's blog this...

Animated Michelle Obama Superhero Kills McDonaldland Clown With Dildo

This is the story that finally almost broke the computers at Next Media Animation, because these Chinese animators have an incredibly hard time making fat people -- everyone in the NMA animated video world looks like a 15-year-old skinny...

Today America Is Restored (Got Rid Of the Vagina Speaker)

Newly unearthed documents show the ACLU was founded by COMMUNISTS in 1919. This fact is truly shocking because why would anyone want to overthrow capitalism during the golden age of child labor? Muslims are slated to show up in...

KFC Covertly Jacking Up National Health Care Costs With Terrifying New Monstrosity

You won't find a word about it on the KFC website, or in most regional advertisements, but out in the mysterious moon colony of Omaha, the televisions are advertising a new sandwich. This is the only footage known to...

Are Black People Racist For Enjoying Fried Chicken?

Here's a teevee news report from Rochester, NY about some Popeye's running out of chicken. Like so much that happens in America, it is both hilarious and tragic. But! The people who are unable to procure their fried chicken,...