Tag Archives: kermit the frog

  muppets vs. muppets

Muppets Kermit & Miss Piggy Respond To Charges By Fox News Muppets

It is important that you watch this crucial Fox News Business report on the evil of the beloved Muppets, even if you already saw this clip in December. Why? Because the Muppets have finally responded to these treasonous charges, at a press conference — Miss Piggy even did a SMACKDOWN on the Fox News idiots. It’s a good thing Fox News viewers are all 67-year-old white trash sitting in their soon-to-be repo’d double-wides, because otherwise they would probably stop buying Muppet toys and movies! Read more on Muppets Kermit & Miss Piggy Respond To Charges By Fox News Muppets…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Reads Christmas Stories With Kermit, Malia Acts Bored

‘Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year’s theme was “Controversy and Nostalgia.” Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the White House. (The old one got knocked down by winds or Katrina or something, and the new tree is a gay terrorist tree, from New Jersey.) Americans like their traditions, so this was a risky move, but luckily the Olds were entertained by Muppets and that Carson character from the MTV Total Request Live. Our lovely FLOTUS was the star performer, of course. She read a story with Kermit the Frog, which delighted everyone, except Malia Obama, whose life is now ruined. Read more on Michelle Obama Reads Christmas Stories With Kermit, Malia Acts Bored…
  vote them off the planet

Donald Trump To Moderate Holiday Republican Debate

Remember a few months ago when the Republicans were excited about … right, Donald Trump? And then something happened, we never knew exactly what, and he was “no longer a viable candidate.” His multi-million ill-gotten fortune couldn’t have been the problem, because Mitt’s still in. The serial adultery and divorces and tacky new wives? Nope, Newt’s still around. Being mentally ill? Hasn’t stopped Bachmann! What about the basic ignorance and stupidity? Rick Perry hasn’t quit the race, and it’s not what’s making Herman Cain quit, either. Maybe it was his national joke of a hairpiece? Whatever the reason, Donald Trump was at least as qualified as all the other GOP candidates combined, so now he gets the consolation prize of moderating a Republican debate, presumably because Kermit the Frog had a prior commitment (and some morals). Read more on Donald Trump To Moderate Holiday Republican Debate…
 

Shocking Photo Proves What Nobody Ever Doubted

Liberal blogs are going crazy with joy over the utterly unsurprising snapshot of Jack Abramoff and George W. Bush that somebody posted somewhere on the Internets. There are apparently lots of people out there who a) Just figured out politicians lie all the time and b) Just figured out that nobody in this White House could even give you the time of day without engaging in elaborate yet nakedly obvious deception. At yesterday’s White House press conference, Tony Snow said it was just a harmless picture and that totally wasn’t cum on Abramoff’s mouth. Read more on Shocking Photo Proves What Nobody Ever Doubted…
 

You Win This Round Too, Colmes

So earlier today we speculated that our pal Alan Colmes was the illicit love child of Rob Lowe and Kermit the Frog. We thought we presented some pretty strong evidence to support our case: Read more on You Win This Round Too, Colmes…