Tag Archives: kenya

  sorry dude hawaii doesn't count either

Birthers’ Grand New Strategy: No Matter Where Obama Was Born, He Can’t Be President

As the election of America’s first “half-white” president nears its second anniversary, things still aren’t going that swell for the shrinking team of furious dingbats who hoped to sue Barack Obama out of the White House because his dad was an African black person. For two years, the teabaggers’ most prominent intellectual arm has waged a low-level courtroom war (mostly by email forwards) aimed at proving Barack Hussein Obama is not a citizen of America because he is a black person, and black people are — under the Original “O.G.” Constitution — simply slaves, worth only 3/5 of a normal fat white person, by body weight. Read more on Birthers’ Grand New Strategy: No Matter Where Obama Was Born, He Can’t Be President…
  where's your framing certificate obama?

Barack Obama Wrote Kenya an Abortion Constitution and Spent Lots of Money On It

When Barack Obama was born in Kenya 16 years ago, abortion wasn’t legal, so his parents weren’t able to get rid of their child. Jesus smiled, because he likes all babies, even socialist ones who want to destroy America. But now that ObaMao has illegally taken power in the U.S., he has decided to force a new constitution on Kenya that protects abortion, and our government is illegally spending money to get this passed, according to Fox News. Read more on Barack Obama Wrote Kenya an Abortion Constitution and Spent Lots of Money On It…
  president of kenya

Obama Sends Biden to Kenya With ‘Love’

As part of some big, expensive “diplomatic safari,” Joe Biden’s been chillin’ in Kenya, the birthplace of President Barry Hussein Soetero-Obama. In Nairobi, Biden gave a speech to some university students, telling jokes and complimenting a “beautiful woman” in the audience. Did he show them Obama’s Kenyanese birth certificate? Read more on Obama Sends Biden to Kenya With ‘Love’…
  make darrell issa cry

But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?

Some communist somewhere is circulating this old AP newspaper clipping claiming that the sainted Reagan Administration did that thing that every political leadership has done since the Dawn of Politics, and frankly it’s insulting to the memory of The Gipper to even suggest his White House would’ve offered an ambassadorship or administration job to a Republican facing a tough GOP primary that could divide the base. Seriously, look at this news clipping and ask yourself, “Doesn’t this font look kind of funny?” Read more on But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?…
  at least he made politico jokes

Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine

White House Correspondents’ Banquet! It was like a massive oil spill, but of shit, instead of oil. Last we heard from Jim Newell was at 12:44 a.m., by the way: “I am at msnbc afterparty. There are hamburgers and kc and the sunshine band are performing. It is epic.” Read more on Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine…
  humor is a weapon and radicals love weapons

Saul Alinsky Behind Latest Attack On Birthers

You know who was the very first human on the planet to use humor to serious effect? The 20th-century folk hero Saul Alinsky, inventor of community organizing and father of the Quercus genus of shade trees. Before Alinsky, no one ever thought to mock one’s political foes — and after Alinsky, no one ever did again. Read more on Saul Alinsky Behind Latest Attack On Birthers…
  cnn is birthers

OH YES, HERE IS THAT THING YOU ALL SENT TO YOUR WONKETTE: Did you know you can make your own magical Kenyan Birth Certificate, for anybody, by going to a website? Yes You Can! Email your version to CNN racist Lou Dobbs. [Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator] Read more on …
  he wuz hatched from a egg

Is Barack Obama A Secret Australian From The 1950s?

Assuming the president is even human, can anybody verify from which woman’s birth canal he sprang, and where, and when? The answer is no, until Barack Obama produces 1) a valid long-form birth certificate with coffee stains to make it look “real” and also 2) a 47-year-old mucus plug. (Note: do not Google “mucus plug” until after lunch.) But in lieu of this evidence, we are left to wonder whether Barack Obama was born in Kenya at all if somebody dug up a birth certificate from South Australia that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like his Kenyan one. Read more on Is Barack Obama A Secret Australian From The 1950s?…
  orly taintz

Birthers Unveil Hilarious New Forged Kenyan Birth Certificate!

SMOKING GUN! California lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has released the Real Birth Certificate of Barack Hussein Nobama II, from Kenya, given to her by a secret source who is now Target #1 of the CIA & the Hawaiian Hospitals Director (same thing). Anyway, Washington’s hardest-working man in birtherology, Dave Weigel, has already debunked the dickens out of this. Our favorite part: “It’s signed by ‘registrar E.F. Lavender.’ Earth Friendly Lavender is a kind of detergent, and government officials who use vanity initials on official documents are, to put it mildly, rare.” BULSHITT WHADDA U KNO WYGEL? [World Net Daily, Washington Independent] Read more on Birthers Unveil Hilarious New Forged Kenyan Birth Certificate!…
  free at last

Barack Obama’s Hero Half-Brother Released By Racist African Regime

Kenyan freedom fighter George Hussein Obama, savagely arrested over the weekend for either possessing a single joint or owning all marijuana ever, and fighting the cops over it, has been released. All charges dropped! The Kenyan police now say it was all, heh heh, a misunderstanding. Read more on Barack Obama’s Hero Half-Brother Released By Racist African Regime…
  lives of the slum dwellers

OBAMA BRO BUSTED FOR ONE JOINT! Oh noes, one of Barack Obama’s million half-brothers somewhere got arrested, for having a single joint. Where does this dude live, Oklahoma? No, the slums of Kenya! So the cops are just going to fuck with anyone named “Obama” for the next eight years. [Gawker/Telegraph] Read more on …
  death

This Bull Will Be Slaughtered, In Kenya, If Obama Wins

Barack Obama’s “ancestors” in the quaint town of Kogelo, Kenya, deign to slaughter this beast if their favorite Luo Tribesman wins the U.S. presidential election. Now that the Bitters have more or less finished voting, everyone forward this post to every Bitter you know, along with scary comments like “THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU NEXT, BUBBA.” It will scare the shit out of them, ha ha. Do it. [CNN] Read more on This Bull Will Be Slaughtered, In Kenya, If Obama Wins…
  preacher problems

Sarah Palin Likes Some Crazy Anti-Witchcraft Crusader!

So once upon a time in a small town in Kenya, people kept having a lot of car accidents. A local pastor named Thomas Muthee of course blamed a “demonic influence” for this problem where people crashed their cars into each other, and some lady had to leave town before everybody killed her to death for being a witch. And then! The pastor visited Sarah Palin’s church in Alaska and asked God to make her governor. Read more on Sarah Palin Likes Some Crazy Anti-Witchcraft Crusader!…
  environmental outrage

Somebody Tried To Steal Barack Obama’s Grandmother’s Solar Panel, In Kenya

In addition to his shamefully abandoned 20-years-younger half brother who he met exactly once, Barack Obama also has a grandmother living in Kenya. (This is the lady you used to see photographed with a chicken all the time.) This grandmother has a solar panel on her roof, and thieves tried to steal it under cover of darkness, and now Mrs. Obama fears for her life. What business does Al Gore have terrorizing Barack Obama’s grandmother like that? [Daily Nation] Read more on Somebody Tried To Steal Barack Obama’s Grandmother’s Solar Panel, In Kenya…
 

Strong Dollar Policy Really Paying Off

Wonkette Monetary Policy Operative “Lee” sends us welcome news: the U.S. dollar is totally beating the pants off the Kenyan shilling. You’ll recall that Barack Obama’s hometown of Kenya, Africa finally swore in a power-sharing cabinet following two months of violence after a disputed election. So it is nice to hear the American currency has gained “a slight ground” versus the currency of a nation with a 21.8% month-over-month inflation rate and a recent history of grave political instability. [NASDAQ.com] Read more on Strong Dollar Policy Really Paying Off…
 

JFK Not Responsible For Barack Obama’s ‘Very Existence’ After All

The public been duped again by America’s Prince, Barack Obama. You know how he likes to talk about how John F. Kennedy is secretly his father, because Kennedy bankrolled Barack Obama Sr.’s trip to the United States and personally introduced the young Kenyan economist to lovely Ann Dunham? All lies! Read more on JFK Not Responsible For Barack Obama’s ‘Very Existence’ After All…
 

Letter From Kenya: Wonkette, Buy Me A Phone!

Forget Nigeria! The new spammer-scammer hotspot is St. Barack Obama’s homeland of Kenya, where the e-mailers have figured out a foolproof way to get money out of gullible American political satirists. Prepare to be awed by fraud. Read more on Letter From Kenya: Wonkette, Buy Me A Phone!…
 

Condi Encounters Half-Naked Tribal Leaders in Africa

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Condi got to go back to the rumored land of her ancestors. No, not Russia, Africa! Her last trip there was a royal dud, but this time she brought along friends: the boss, his wife, Josh Bolten, etc., and she got to see the boss dance! She got a pretty sash! She got molested by scary natives! And then she got back and nobody cared. Relive the magic, after the jump… Read more on Condi Encounters Half-Naked Tribal Leaders in Africa…
 

Kenyans Find Obama ‘Really Strong And Very Cheap’

Presidential hopeful and secret beer baron Barack Obama has cornered the booze market in his hometown of Kenya, Africa. Ever since his victory in the Potomac primaries, folks have been lining up in Nairobi pubs and asking for “Obama,” which is the hip new local slang for Senator brand beer. Shocking CNN footage, after the jump! Read more on Kenyans Find Obama ‘Really Strong And Very Cheap’…
 

Meet Barack’s Family!

This informative graphic, as a follow-up to the Christian’s timeline of Muslimobama’s life, comes from our fantastic commenter Serolf Divad, h/t Pat Robertson. Imagine all these terrorists “running around the White House,” forever! Read more on Meet Barack’s Family!…
 

Men’s Genitals the Latest Kenyan Battlefront

For everyone that likes to talk about “stolen” elections in the United States on the like, we would, today, like to kindly direct your attention to Africa where Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki might well have literally stolen that election, an event which has precipitated mass internal migration and tribal violence. The newest front in that violence? Innocent, innocent foreskins. Read more on Men’s Genitals the Latest Kenyan Battlefront…
 

Romney Goons Attack Helpless Old McCain Signs!

This is a thousand times worse than whatever happened in Kenya that was so terrible! Look at these people, wearing their snow gear, walking carefully through the frozen muck, and then brutally removing the honest, maverick signs only to jam heartless corporate wrong-Jesus signs into the same ice holes. This won’t stand! Bad Sign For Romney [Political Machine] Read more on Romney Goons Attack Helpless Old McCain Signs!…