kenya

CHICKENS COMING HOME TO ROOST  1:47 pm January 23, 2013

Dumb South Dakota Pol Really Sorry He Told Black Reporter To Go Back To Kenya

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rapid City, SD, Councilman Bill Clayton seems like a swell fella! After all, it only took him five months to apologize to a black reporter for telling her she should be deported to Kenya. And anyway, he did not even know she was black, so he is obviously not racist. Here is something weird, though! [...]

OO EE OO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG  2:52 pm November 5, 2012

AP Writes Entire Article About Obama’s Terrifying, Witch-Doctor-Filled Kenyan Village Home

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Oh, look, the AP has written a “color piece” (get it?) about how everyone in Obama’s birthplace, Kogelo, Kenya, is a 105-year-old witch doctor cold throwin’ chicken guts around, for science. KOGELO, Kenya (AP) — At President Barack Obama’s ancestral village in Kenya, witch doctor John Dimo tossed some shells, bones and other items to [...]

THAT'S WHAT I CALL THE LONG ARM OF COINCIDENCE!  12:31 pm October 26, 2012

Watch Ann Dunham Give Birth To Two-Year-Old Toddler Barack Obama In Kenya (Video)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Sorry, Barack Nobummer, but the SECRET is OUT. Vice has been approached by some super-not-shady Romanian who totally exists and who transferred to video this Super 8 film (which was invented in 1965) shot by Barack Obama’s fake father, Barack Obama Sr., of you as a giant two-year-old baby being born in Kenya. (In 1961, [...]

THURSDAY PUERTO RICO ROUNDUP  12:00 pm August 2, 2012

Powerful Gov’t Twitter Monster In Puerto Rico Always Shouting Racist Nonsense at Obama

by Jim Newell

It’s time for your Thursday Puerto Rico Roundup! What’s going on in that little island that we own or whatever this week? Well, they’ve got a racist Twitter lady type situation going down. Watch out! And how about that, she’s in politics. Steel yourselves: “An adviser to Puerto Rico’s most powerful female lawmaker faced calls [...]

PIVOTAL MOMENTS IN OUR COUNTRY'S HISTORY  2:25 pm June 19, 2012

Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo

by Liz Colville

A 1990 article in a hard-hitting publication called Vanity Fair either accidentally revealed a state secret: Obama spent some years in Singapore, not Indonesia, as a child! OR pooooossibly, but this is not very likely, an uninformed intern wrote an article about Obama and confused the countries of Indonesia (where Obama “spent” some time as [...]

BOOOOOOOO  10:19 am May 18, 2012

You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Ghost Andrew Breitbart must be spinning in hell. He told these idiots that the “birther” stuff was “not a winning issue,” and what did these fuckwads at his ghost web empire do? They ran a total birther story with a long embarrassed introduction explaining that they weren’t birthers per se — um, let’s see — [...]

ENERGY IN THE NEWS  2:52 pm September 12, 2011

French Nuclear Waste Dump Explodes, Kenyan Oil Pipeline Explodes

by Ken Layne

How is the world of energy going, today? Not so well! In the non-German, still-nuke-having European land of France, a nuclear waste dump in Marcoule exploded. At least one person is dead and several are injured and of course there is “no danger” until, like every recent nuclear disaster, the entire province is pronounced off [...]

AND HE BURPED ON MEMORIAL DAY!  8:37 am May 31, 2011

Fox News: Did Shameless Obama Chew Gum At Joplin Memorial?

by Wonkette Jr.

Barack Obama has committed a lot of crimes such as being born, according to people who don’t like black men, but he finally went too far at this memorial for the people who got killed by the tornado. According to Fox News, the president sort of looked like he was moving his jaw in a [...]

ARGHH MATEY  12:45 pm April 20, 2011

Obama Is Actually a Somali Pirate Child

by Ken Layne

Shocking new photographs from Barack Obama’s African Past reveal that he was actually a Somali pirate in Hawaii during his youth, the feared “Child Scallywag of Honolulu.” Here, pictured with Liz Phair in the early 1990s, the dread pirate O’bamar prepares to raid a British crown colony of landlubbers and then head off to the [...]

BACHMANN/ROBERT E. LEE 2012  6:45 pm March 31, 2011

Dave Weigel Proves Michele Bachmann Is Kenyan Idiot

by Ken Layne

Jabbering fucktard clownfish Michele Bachmann was one of the twelve or so teabaggers to “protest” in Washington today, by utterly failing to have a protest. But at least she posed with this sign announcing that she had escaped from Kenya, and that this strange white suburban wingnut village in Kenya was now missing its main [...]

COLONIALS  3:59 pm March 1, 2011

Mike Huckabee Knows Barack Obama Grew Up In Kenya

by Jack Stuef

HUCKABEE: I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American. When he gave the bust back to the Brits – MALZBERG: Of Winston Churchill. HUCKABEE: [...]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:17 pm January 19, 2011

RedState Makes It Official: Gays Unworthy of Marriage, Due To Gayness

by Benjamin Frisch

Separate but equal is OK for gays because they can’t get pregnant at age 16 and then poop out a million more future-criminals on MTV, which is the only measure of a true American marriage. [RedState] The governor of Hawaii can’t find Barry Soetero’s birth certificate either — MAYBE BECAUSE IT’S IN KENYA, IDIOT. [Visions2America] [...]

MELE KAMOHOALI'I  12:52 pm December 27, 2010

Obamas Worship Shark God In Hawaiian ‘Church’

by Ken Layne

IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A PRESIDENT  2:37 pm August 5, 2010

White House Makes Sure Everyone Knows Obama Doesn’t Support That Crazy ‘Gay Marriage’ Idea

by Jack Stuef

President Obama, like many people, was very happy that Proposition 8 was overturned yesterday. But no, that does not mean he supports gay marriage, David Axelrod says. “The president does oppose same-sex marriage, but he supports equality for gay and lesbian couples, and benefits and other issues, and that has been effectuated in federal agencies [...]

SORRY DUDE HAWAII DOESN'T COUNT EITHER  9:26 am July 29, 2010

Birthers’ Grand New Strategy: No Matter Where Obama Was Born, He Can’t Be President

by Ken Layne

As the election of America’s first “half-white” president nears its second anniversary, things still aren’t going that swell for the shrinking team of furious dingbats who hoped to sue Barack Obama out of the White House because his dad was an African black person. For two years, the teabaggers’ most prominent intellectual arm has waged [...]

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