kentucky
Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com’s charred corpse! But why are you sacrificing Budget Travel to your cruel and vengeful Yahweh? Oh, only because it hates all Christians, [...]
Kentucky GOP candidate for governor David Williams is behind Democratic incumbent Steve Beshear by several million points in the polls, which means the only thing sad dingus David Williams can do all day long at this point is stare glumly at his Steve Beshear Google Alert list trying to find banal news items he can [...]
There is a magical place in America where the economy doesn’t exist, and dreams and illiteracy run wild as God smiles down from the Heavens. This place is called “Ark Encounters,” and it is in the state of Kentucky, which apparently is where Jesus or Noah would live, if they came back to save America. [...]
OH YEEHAW THA FORF OF JULY, time for the awful racist slobs of Lexington, Kentucky to put on their best “warding off the coloreds and the Muslins” finery in honor of Jesus, Hitler and Thomas Jefferson. Do you like seeing the hate-bomb that is puking all over the American flag, on this man’s t-shirt? Does [...]
Don’t try to schedule any dinner plans a half decade from now with Rand Paul. He’s already booked. U.S. Sen. Rand Paul has already filed to seek re-election to the U.S. Senate in 2016. The Kentucky Republican who has been talking about possibly running for president next year filed a statement of candidacy to run [...]
There are press releases and then there are press releases: “FRANKFORT, Ky.— Governor Steve Beshear today joined the Ark Encounter LLC to announce the planned construction of a full-scale Noah’s Ark tourist attraction in northern Kentucky.” Of course! Get all the state’s most important officials over there. This is going to be big. IT’S GOING [...]
Voters who think Lexington needs a new direction chose Vice Mayor Jim Gray as the city’s next mayor Tuesday. Gray, a 57-year-old millionaire construction company executive, defeated Mayor Jim Newberry, 54, an attorney. He becomes Lexington’s first openly gay mayor and the first businessman who has been elected to Lexington’s top spot since the city [...]
Ex Rand Paul Bourbon County coordinator Tim Profitt sort of apologized yesterday IF “it appeared overly forceful” when he stomped on that annoying MoveOn woman in the wig. But of course, as we all know, when you stomp on a person’s head, it should really be that person apologizing to you. “I would like for [...]
That guy who smashed some MoveOn lady’s head with his foot is “sorry that it came to that” and says he apologizes “if it appeared overly forceful.” Oh yes, it may have appeared that way, but this is actually the way Kentucky gentlemen greet members of the opposite sex. It’s a cultural thing you don’t [...]
Legitimate heir to the rEVOLution Rand Paul exchanged heated words last night with Jack Conway, who has a big head and likes to read. Everyone was excited to hear these two men talk about the issues — whose father knows the most about gold/is the coolest? — but that’s not what Rand wanted to talk [...]
The great thing about this country is its diverse character. Some states have their Senate candidates debate at podiums. Others have them debate at urinals.
“Republican Rand Paul’s latest money bomb appears to have, well, bombed.” HIGH FIVE! You did it, Politico! Yes, Rand Paul had one of these “money bomb” things, which are supposed to attract media attention and make supporters self-flagellate for just how much they love their favorite politicians. Rand Paul set out to top the $436,000 [...]
It’s a well-known fact that this blog is so mean to Rand Paul, all the time, mostly because we feel no obligation to be particularly fair or even-handed to anyone, especially when they are constantly hilarious, as Rand Paul is. Still, every once in a while your editor feels a contrarian urge to keep out [...]
