Tag Archives: kentucky

  What's The Matter With KY?

Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Clerks Having Real Bad Week

Yaoi? Yowie!
Yaoi? Yowie! Pour out a 40 for the gay-hating county clerks of Kentucky, who are losing their brave battle to refuse to do their jobs in the name of Jesus. First up, we have Kim Davis, the clerk of Rowan County, who was told by a federal appeals court Wednesday that she really does have to issue marriage licenses, because that is the job of a county clerk. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit was not at all impressed by Ms. Davis’s contention that she can ignore her job duties because Jesus said to. The appeals court affirmed an earlier lower court decision requiring Davis to do her job: Read more on Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Clerks Having Real Bad Week…
  Smacked down again :(

Mean Judge Makes Kentucky Clerk Murder Jesus By Doing Marriage Licenses For Gays

Yep, lady, that's your God, stone cold rollin' His eyes at you.
Yep, lady, that’s your God, stone cold rollin’ His eyes at you. Here is your latest update on Kim Davis, martyr to the Christian masses and county clerk for Rowan County, Kentucky, who has been crucified by Teh Buttsechs Gods (read: the Supreme Court and the Constitution and Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear) more times than she can even count. Davis has already been ‘splained repeatedly that part of her duties as the county clerk is to do marriage licenses, and since the Supreme Court throat-crammed America with marriage equality, that includes gays. And the poor thing had been told by the wingnut “legal” outfit Liberty Counsel that it would be okay if she disobeyed, and also she should sue the governor because her religious freedom is being taken away. Heck, they’d even represent her! Read more on Mean Judge Makes Kentucky Clerk Murder Jesus By Doing Marriage Licenses For Gays…
  Look it's another asshole demanding special rights

Dumb Kentucky Clerk Sues For Religious Freedom To Suck At Her Job

My name is Kim and I'm a total dick, how may be of no help to you today?
My name is Kim and I’m a total dick, how may I be of no help to you today? Over the last month or so, most holdout county clerks have at least begun to acquiesce to the idea that yes, there gays in America and yes, those gays can get married now (to each other!), and if you want to have a job as a county clerk who issues marriage licenses, you have to give them to gays, even if you worship a real stupid version of Jesus who says that’s bad. If you don’t like that, you are free to get another job you’re better qualified for, whatever that might be. Read more on Dumb Kentucky Clerk Sues For Religious Freedom To Suck At Her Job…
  No this is a DIFFERENT dumbass Kentucky county clerk

Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky County Clerk: I’m Only A Dick Because I Love Jesus Too Much

Overcome by the spirit of the Derp.
Wait, didn’t we write this story on Wednesday? Dumbfuck Kentucky county clerk with last name “Davis” hates the gays so much, won’t give marriage licenses, bleeding out from poor man’s stigmata right now? No! It seems that gay-hatin’ Kentucky county clerks what are dicks all have the same last name, so let us introduce you to Casey Davis, who, unlike the last Davis, is a boy. He is the county clerk of Casey County, which is probably helpful to him, so he doesn’t have to go to the trouble of remembering his own name AND the name of where he works, because words is hard. Read more on Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky County Clerk: I’m Only A Dick Because I Love Jesus Too Much…
  Minorities demanding special rights

Here’s Your Video Of An Ignorant Bigot Lady Clerk Denying Gays A Marriage License For Jesus

My name is Kim and I'm a total dick, how may be of no help to you today?
Kim Davis is one of those county clerks who thinks that her personal relationship with a bigot version of Jesus that never existed gives her a hall pass from doing her fucking job, which, among other things, is issuing marriage licenses to the couples of Rowan County, Kentucky. Yes, EVEN the gay ones. Davis thinks that if that’s the case, she’ll just stop doing marriage licenses altogether, even though that’s — again — HER FUCKING JOB. So the ACLU is suing her ass right and good, on behalf of four couples in the county who have tried and failed to get marriage licenses. Oh, and they’re not all gay couples, either; half of them (that’s two of the couples, for you D-U-Capital-M’s out there) are opposite-sexing couples! Read more on Here’s Your Video Of An Ignorant Bigot Lady Clerk Denying Gays A Marriage License For Jesus…
  The Christians Are Revolting

Jesus-American County Clerks Paralyzed By Gay Cooties

You think you're Doing Unto Others? Really, bitch?
Despite the Supreme Court ordering every single American to get gay married right this second, some Real Good Christians are shouting, “Don’t wanna! Don’t hafta! YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!” Which is rude and also wrong, but that rarely stops bigots from doing that thing they do. Which is why they are inventing loopholes, or outright defying what is now the law of the land, to continue their battle against equality. Read more on Jesus-American County Clerks Paralyzed By Gay Cooties…
  Boo hoo

Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful

It's the end of the world! Except not
It turns out that not every single U.S. American is sexcitedly happy dancing because the Supreme Court confirmed that, per the Constitution, the Constitution is for everybody. Like, some of the justices on the Supreme Court (but not enough of them to matter, HAHAHAHA). Join us, as we read their word-weeping for their beloved institution of inequality, which is dead as fried chicken now, huzzah! Read more on Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful…
  Bitch made fun of Noah's Ark too

Creation Museum Guy: If Miley Cyrus Is So Gay, She Should Do Sex To Barnyard Animals

Evolution!
Miley Cyrus is in the news this week, gettin’ all nekkid and having her picture made for Paper magazine, and the accompanying interview is actually quite cool, unless you are Ken Ham from Answers In Genesis, that creationist fool who runs the big fake Bible science Creation Museum in Kentucky. Ham decided to write a bloggy post about Ms. Cyrus’s naked body, and how her revelation that she is “gender fluid” means she ought to just go ahead and fuck animals. Frankly, we’re a little worried Ham has been mainlining too much myrrh. Here is what Cyrus said: Read more on Creation Museum Guy: If Miley Cyrus Is So Gay, She Should Do Sex To Barnyard Animals…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup

This story has Bearing Arms AND Baring Arms in it!
Greetings, Wonketeers, from America’s Sam’s Cola, a state so strange and wondrous that all kinds of people are just dying to move here, and then some of them die here, because they are old. One of our newest denizens is a man named Adam Horine, but for some strange reason he did not actually want to come here at all: Read more on Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup…
  The Dunning-Kruger Effect In Action

Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science

she's as enthusiastic as ever!
We’re sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox — not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre “audit” of Chicago’s Field Museum became a viral must-see last fall. She did a follow-up visit to a zoo, where she explained that hunters have saved the wild animals of “Zambibia,” but while her eyes are just as crazy as ever, her schtick was already growing old. Now she’s back with a new multi-part exploration of Kentucky’s Creation Museum, and — would you believe this? — where she was awfully skeptical of all the “science” in the Field Museum, she finds the Creation Museum “pretty convincing.” Read more on Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Too feral for Kentucky even

Kentucky Nanny State Won’t Let ‘Off-The-Grid’ Family Raise Kids In Garbage

It's not like they're criminally collecting water samples without permission, after all
Oh boy, it’s another Mommy War! In one corner, Joe and Nicole Naugler, of Breckenridge County, Kentucky, who have a Facebook page — “My Blessed Little Homestead” — documenting their adventures in off-the-grid parenting and homesteading, making crafts, and natural living. In the other, the jackbooted thugs of Kentucky Child Protective Services, who either swooped in and kidnapped the Nauglers’ 10 children because the government hates freedom and homeschooling, or maybe because the parents were raising the kids in a garbage-strewn shack and “educating” them by letting them wander around like stray chickens. (Apparently this is called “unschooling,” and it is considered a good thing by some folks. Then again, so is Ted Cruz.) Read more on Kentucky Nanny State Won’t Let ‘Off-The-Grid’ Family Raise Kids In Garbage…
  our well regulated militia

Gun Fun Roundup: Please Don’t Shoot Your Pal In Gun Safety Class

There may be an infinite number of cat & gun photos on the interwebs. Science must know why!
How are America’s Responsible Gun Owners preventing crime and tyranny this week? We bet there’s just no end of stories of valiant crime-stoppers and freedom defenders to look at! Other Than That, Safety Class Went Great In Orem, Utah, two police cadets were waiting for their gun safety class to start, and then they learned an important lesson about gun safety: Read more on Gun Fun Roundup: Please Don’t Shoot Your Pal In Gun Safety Class…
  bad analogies

Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!

Say what now?
We have seen many laughable rationalizations for upholding bans on marriage equality over the years, and especially in the last few months before the Supreme Court rules, once and for all, that those bans are not constitutional. (Yes, that’s probably definitely we are pretty darn sure going to happen real soon.) Bigots say equality will mean the end of the world or at least make politicians get drunk and crash their boats into children. And it will cause a million more abortions and force dudes to have to explain periods to their daughters, can you EVEN IMAGINE. Read more on Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!…