Democrats have gone from 0-60 in their mastery of the important political skill of “subtly exploiting a Kennedy death.” Yesterday, you’ll recall, America’s most unsuccessful technically successful senator Harry Reid announced that, uhh yeah, we’re all acutely aware that Ted Kennedy’s death is going to help our chances of doing what we want with health care. Like many things in politics, this was not okay for him to say despite it being completely true! Anyway, now this new plan, naming the health care bill after Kennedy… to honor him… NOW THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
If there is one thing guaranteed to enrage America’s arbiter of good taste, it is making any kind of snide remark about Ted Kennedy when he is ill or, in the current case, dead. Naturally, this rule has been flouted relentlessly for the past two days by the crassest, most awful people in the world, which is to say political cartoonists. Who are these heartless monsters, and why do they try so very hard to ruin our national conversation about how much we love Ted Kennedy? MORE »

Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]

To the nation’s shrinking pool of 80-year-old bitter white wingnuts, there is only one thing to know about liberal Taxachusetts leftist liberal Ted “Edward” Kennedy: Forty years ago, he showed the ultimate disrespect for Republican Political Traditions by getting in the car with an attractive girl …. And then he drove off a bridge and accidentally drowned the girl and spent several hours trying to sober up/get his story straight. But let there be no confusion. The only reason Wingnuts have ever been upset about Kennedy is a) He didn’t hate black people, like they do, and b) He perhaps had a secret sexy time with a girl. There are other facts about the “Actual lion loose in the Senate,” too! MORE »

So long, old fella. [NYT]

Man, last night all the haters were hating on the Post for breaking the astonishing news that the nice rich lady with important friends had decided not to demand a lifelong appointment to the House of Lords after all. Well, now your precious MSM liberal gray lady of record, the New York Times, says the same thing, so it’s official: Caroline Kennedy will be roasted and eaten by David Paterson, with mint jelly, for lunch. MORE »

Politico, everyone — the Politico has a scoop! MORE »

The only living Kennedy in the world, Caroline, has put the rumors to rest and is now officially targeting Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat, which will be vacant after Hillary bribes the Senate with Kazakhstani pipeline profits for her Secretary of State confirmation. Kennedy is calling everyone in the Democratic party and asking them to give her this seat, which is a fuckin’ valuable thing. We have very little to say about this person asking to be a Senator except NO, no, no, no Senate seat for you, what the hell, no, go back to wherever, no, and lastly, what is the word… no. Well, maybe, who cares. [NYT]

Beloved Taxacusetts senator and last-surviving RFK/JFK brother Ted Kennedy is in the hospital today after doctors fixed a clogged artery in his neck. They successfully removed the Jameson bottle and now he’s “resting.” But what’s interesting is why he went to the doctor in the first place: The neck clog was found during an MRI to check on his wrecked back — Ted Kennedy barely survived a terrible plane crash in 1964, just a few months after John Kennedy’s assassination. MORE »

Surgeon General. Seems like an awesome job, right? You get to be a “Vice Admiral” in something calld the “Public Health Service Commissioned Corps,” which means wearing an awesome uniform, you get to boss people around about smoking and shit, and we’re pretty sure you get to decide which little orphan boys on organ donor waiting lists live and which ones die. So leave it the the Bush administration to take that awesome job and turn it into a messy partisan freakshow. MORE »

Joseph P. Kennedy II, son of RFK, divorced Sheila Rauch Kennedy in 1991. Then, like a good Catholic, he had the 12-year marriage annulled in 1996. MORE »