Tag Archives: kennedy

  If the milk's free nobody will buy any cows

Fox Panel Pretty Sure Nobody Gets Married Because Ladies Give Away All Their Sex

When it’s time to learn about sex trends, it’s time to check in with Andrea Tantaros, dumb former vee-jay Kennedy and the rest of the crew on Fox’s Outnumbered, who have their fingers right on the G-spot of culture. So why is nobody getting married anymore? Andrea Tantaros poses that question to Dr. Manny Alvarez, who says that it’s because immigrants are always getting together and deciding to have babies, but they forget to get married because it’s not part of their “culture.” He also says that nobody is “paying attention” to marriage, not heteros, not homos, not nobody never. Read more on Fox Panel Pretty Sure Nobody Gets Married Because Ladies Give Away All Their Sex…
 

Fox: When Will Barack Obama Stop ‘Slut-Shaming’ These Poor CEOs?

Do you know what kills freedom? Besides President Obama and Democrat Party and increased access to healthcare, obviously? Forcing bazillionaire CEOs to tell us just how many bazillions of dollars they make. No, really, it’s true! The bobbledheads on Fox’s Outnumbered said so, and they report so you can decide they must be right. Read more on Fox: When Will Barack Obama Stop ‘Slut-Shaming’ These Poor CEOs?…
  Rectal Infusions Of American Exceptionalism

Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?

This isn't about democracy, this is about politics. Which Democracy doesn't need.
The nice folks at Fox News are pretty darn angry about the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on the CIA’s post-9/11 torture program, but not about anything revealed in the report. No, the great patriots at Fox are mostly angry that the report is being released at all, especially at a time when it will distract from the very important appearance of Obamacare Archfiend Jonathan Gruber, who’s testifying before a House panel today. Obviously, the Dems are just trying to cover up the War Crimes of the Affordable Care Act by nattering on about some Muslims who got their feelings hurt. OK, and at least one guy who was a case of mistaken identity died of hypothermia, and two other guys who were tortured even though they had already worked as CIA informants. But they never called the American people stupid, now did they? You see, it’s all about priorities. Let’s see how Fox Fair And Balanced the shit out of the torture report today! Read more on Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?…
  Skinny Legs And All

World’s Worst Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Opens Yap To Explain Michelle Obama Is A Disgusting Fatty

Dr. Ablow will see you now.
Oh Lord, Keith Ablow is on the teevee making grunting sounds with his facehole, and those grunts have somehow formed stupid, stupid words, and now Keith Ablow looks like an asshole. In other news, it’s Tuesday. Read more on World’s Worst Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Opens Yap To Explain Michelle Obama Is A Disgusting Fatty…
  America's royals are as lame as Britain's royals

Remaining Living Kennedys Just Suck

Remember when all the Kennedys were handsome and noble and square of jaw? They still have the jaw thing but everything else about them is crappy and disappointing. Join us as we walk through the Rogue’s Gallery of Remaining Kennedys and reflect on the Death of Camelot, etc. Read more on Remaining Living Kennedys Just Suck…
 

St. Patrick’s Curse On America

Way back in the Fifth Century, Eliot Spitzer took a “white slave” to Ireland. After many years of imprisonment, Little Saint Patrick escaped back to England, which was part of Rome at the time, and he remembered his Irish slavery so fondly that he vowed to return and destroy Paganism. It only took another 1,500 years for Ted Kennedy to drunkenly crash his car off a tiny bridge and drown his girlfriend. Learn more about St. Patrick’s Day, after the jump. Read more on St. Patrick’s Curse On America…
 

$8 Million for Uncle Teddy!

Washington, D.C., attorney Bob Barnett has worked the same magic handling the Kennedy book deal as he did with Bill and Hillary Clinton’s. As we reported earlier this month, the rep was shopping around Kennedy’s autobiography in New York. After a six-day auction that ended Nov. 19, Grand Central Publishing bought world rights for a reported $8 million. Before the deal can be completed, however, Kennedy’s publishing contract must be approved by the Senate Ethics Committee (fun!). Editor and publisher Jonathan Karp said he hoped to publish the book in the fall of 2010, telling The New York Times that Kennedy is “walking, talking history… There’s no limit to what he can talk about with authority and distinctive personal perspective.” Kennedy Memoirs Said to Fetch $8 Million [NYT] Read more on $8 Million for Uncle Teddy!…
 

Ted Kennedy’s Bizarre 1964 Plane Crash Still Haunts Him

Beloved Taxacusetts senator and last-surviving RFK/JFK brother Ted Kennedy is in the hospital today after doctors fixed a clogged artery in his neck. They successfully removed the Jameson bottle and now he’s “resting.” But what’s interesting is why he went to the doctor in the first place: The neck clog was found during an MRI to check on his wrecked back — Ted Kennedy barely survived a terrible plane crash in 1964, just a few months after John Kennedy’s assassination. Read more on Ted Kennedy’s Bizarre 1964 Plane Crash Still Haunts Him…
 

Globetrotting Rat Pack Divorcee Dies At 82

Of course we’re talking about a Kennedy … who did you expect, a Carter? Patricia Kennedy Lawford died in New York on Sunday at age 82. She had been ill with pneumonia. Read more on Globetrotting Rat Pack Divorcee Dies At 82…