Wonkette

WEEKETTE: Do not forsake your Weekette, which is a wonderful weekly collection of your Wonkette items, in the LA CITYBEAT newspaper. Also, oh lord, what is your editor doing now? [LA CITYBEAT]

What dark human vice was engaged herein, June 12, 2008, among Wonketteers and thine ilk? MORE »

This is the thong that Ken Layne wears “to the office” everyday. It features the headcut of Barack Obama and you wear it as underwear beneath your blue jeans. [CafePress]

Here’s an idea as innovative as the Nevada Caucus “First In The West” itself: Invite the press, lock them in a terrible underground ballroom in a casino somewhere, and make sure there’s no sort of Internet or wireless or anything. Hooray! Anyway, that’s where your editor has been, and here’s the chilling semi-live-blogged account of this weird, weird process. MORE »

Horrible smog. Chewed-up desert. Wind storms. Endless vistas of foreclosed stucco boxes. For Sale signs and Payday Loan joints. Crushing unemployment. No water. Rampant crime, prostitution, drug addiction, gambling addiction — all squirming around the edges of a never-finished vulgar theme park that should be blown up and reassembled in Dubai, where it belongs. MORE »

During my sad tour of the endless half-abandoned Vegas “single family home developments,” I saw exactly ZERO political signs until this half-hearted falling-over Mitt Romney “lawn” sign. (It’s kind of stuck in some half-dead ground-cover plant surrounded by gravel. Las Vegas is about 42% stucco and 56% gravel. The rest of the city consists of cigarette butts and dried-up condoms.) MORE »

That was sure worth getting up before dawn and making a five-hour drive to Las Vegas! Thanks, Democrats. Our coverage for the night is just about over, but we’ll have much more Campaign Trail Fun all over Las Vegas on Wednesday, which is basically today. There will be events, and perhaps a rally of some kind! All in the cause of giving Americans a “safety valve” so they can “blow off steam” by voting for pretty much identical elitist candidates. Anyway, here’s a recap of Wonkette’s Tuesday in Nevada, plus more pictures, if you want them. MORE »

Here is the scene: There are many, many, many filing tables. About a third of the chairs are occupied. There are flat screen monitors on stands, and they’re all playing this SAME GODDAMNED 5-MINUTE LOOP ABOUT HOW NEVADA IS SO AWESOME IF YOU ARE A MEXICAN WHO MOVED HERE. Or a Cuban. Harry Reid does the intro. I have seen this at least a dozen times and have no doubt I’ll see it another dozen times before the debate finally begins. MORE »

Hi everybody, it’s your old friend Ken Layne. So I went on vacation a couple months ago, and then I saw three triangular UFOs over Shirley MacClaine’s house, and the next thing I remember was the picket line outside the Wonkette office building, which is actually an abandoned Chinese buffet restaurant next to a Payday Loan place in Prince George’s County.

MORE »

Although editing Wonkette for the last 20 months has permanently destroyed any remaining faith I might’ve had in the democratic process, and America as whole, it has also been a helluva lotta fun. And I’ll miss it! I’ve grown to hate each and every elected official in this great nation, but there’s still something slightly pleasurable in viciously attacking them. And now, as I compose my final post for Wonkette until I quit Gawker in two years and end up the editor of Jezebel for some reason until I’m fired and shipped back here because I’m otherwise unemployable and no one else on Earth is willing for work for Nick Denton anymore, I feel a little sadder than I thought I would. Also drunker. I’ve been hitting the bottle since noon! MORE »

Hello, comrades! Have you enjoyed Wonkette these past 18 months or so? Well, good, because now we’re going to change it all around, as far as who writes and edits the thing. Editor and “national treasure” Alex Pareene is moving to New York City for a secret new assignment he’ll explain in another post, and I’m hanging around for a while as a daily contributor and will continue to sort of vaguely maintain the invisible “West Coast Bureau” — yes, you can go ahead and offer me lucrative free-lance stuff now, and this time I might actually do it. MORE »