Tag: ken layne

Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

I, Also Too, Would Like To Tell You A Story About Wonkette

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Jane, you igneous slut

Deleted Comments: Demacrats Want To Turn America Into 1944 Socialist Berlin!

Our deleted comments bag is full of the usual colorful array of comments from lackwits, poltroons, and twaddlemongers this week, plus a rare treat: an actual hate email to Yr Editrix, which we'll give pride of place by running...

Has This Democratic Primary Killed You Yet? No? LET’S ALL YELL SOME MORE! A DEBATE LIVEBLOG!

Guys! GUYS! ARE YOU SO ANGRY AT YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS WHO ONLY AGREE WITH YOU ON 95 PERCENT OF THE THINGS? ARE YOU READY TO TELL EVERYBODY THEY ARE CROOKS FOR LIKING THAT WHORALLY CLINTON? Can you not...
Kiss it and make it all better.

Old Handsome Joe Biden Mauled In Puppy Dog Play Fight

Old Handsome Joe Biden, what did you do to your widdle face??? It is all bangeded up, did Jill punch you? WHY ARE YOU PUNCHING THE VICE PRESIDENT IN THE MOUTH, JILL BIDEN? Just kidding, she did not punch...

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business

The following is our annual repost of Ken Layne's Real Cranberry Business, because when we bought this bitch we bought the archives too. One hundred and seventy two years from now, "Ken Layne" will be retelling his cranberry business...

Ken Layne And Wonkette Helped Rescue The Country From Doddering Crab King John McCain

It was seven unlucky years ago when a handsome young man named Alex Pareene typed to me on G-chat with a sex proposition: "Save me from guest editor hell," he said. Pareene, an NYU film school dropout who had...

What Do You Get Your Mommyblog For Your Tenth Anniversary? A Brief History Of The Last Year And Change At Your Wonkette

Hello bitchez! Do you know what today is? It is the tenth anniversary of your Wonkette. (Actually, tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of your Wonkette, but tomorrow is Saturday and you will be drunk.) We know this because we...

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter...

Ken Layne Interviews The Devil About 9/11, Stuff

Hmmm, well, here is a thing. It is Ken Layne, your deposed dictator, interviewing the Devil in the back of a San Francisco taxi, about 9/11 and religious wars and global warming ... and you guys, you might not...

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter...

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business

The following is our annual repost of Ken Layne's Real Cranberry Business, because when we bought this bitch we bought the archives too. One hundred and seventy two years from now, "Ken Layne" will be retelling his cranberry business...

Palace Coup At Your Wonkette

Weep, weep, Wonkette, for your fallen prince Ken Layne. Okay, that’s enough. Oh, I see I might have scared you, since there is apparently a surfeit of youngish people falling over dead these days. (Davy Jones, you were the...

Where The Hell Is Ken Layne?

When Wonkette "editor" Ken Layne declared that he was going to drive to the site of the stolen Jesus Cross in California's Mojave Desert yesterday, most of us assumed that this was his latest excuse to hitchhike to the...

WHEN HARRY MET NEGROES: "Republicans are very angry with Reid this week, and not just because he’s a powerful Democrat in Washington about to pass the thing Republicans hate more than Islam, which is affordable health care for Americans."...

Jim Inhofe Didn’t Even Read ‘Harry Potter,’ But He Still Hates Mudbloods

Ken Layne reviews Infinite Jest, or some other book. Honestly, there's really no point in reading something you've already been paid to vote against. Convicts need their stimulus checks just as much as the next guy. How else can...