WASHINGTON, DC, 06:38 AM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘keith ellison’

TWICE-ELECTED UNITED STATES CONGRESSWOMAN

Michele Bachmann Makes Up Thing About ‘Flying Imams’ Attending Muslim Congressman’s Party

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

HMM. Michele Bachmann’s got her name in the newspapers again! This happens very easily: go on the wingnut’s radio show, get asked “what’s the reaction” in Minnesota to the fact that the state has an “openly” Muslim congressman (Keith Ellison) who knows Muslim people (Barack Obama?), and argue that the liberal media is not concerned enough about this very obvious terrorism, what with the Flying Imams and stuff who probably all know Ellison from Muslim parties and Al Qaeda. MORE »


ISLAMIC KARMA

Anti-Muslim Hero Rep. Virgil Goode Loses

Friday, November 7th, 2008

Ha hahTruly, Virgil Goode was our nation’s finest congressman, because only he stood up for America when a frightening Detroit Muslim, Keith Ellison, won a Minnesota congressional seat in 2006. See, Ellison was sworn in using Thomas Jefferson’s Koran, but Goode wanted to use it, for masturbation, because Goode represented Virginia’s 5th congressional district, which includes Jefferson’s beloved Monticello. MORE »


THAT'S NOT MINNESOTA NICE

Weirdos Armed With Stepstool & Spray Paint Attack Garages of Minnesota Politicians!

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

I'm your messiah and you're the reason whyWell here’s a story, we suppose: Some nut in Minnesota spray-painted weird religious things on the garages belonging to Senators Norm Coleman and Amy Klobuchar and U.S. Representatives Keith Ellison, John Kline, Michele Bachmann and Jim Ramstad. So, Democrats and Republicans, Lutherans and Jesus Freaks, even a Muslim! What the hell? MORE »


ISRAEL

Bachmann on Fact-finding/Baby-Collecting Mission Overseas

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

Michele Bachmann, congresswoman, baby-farmer, president-groper, is apparently not groping enough of her constituents these days. An impassioned letter to the St. Cloud Times back in her Minnesota district wonders why she’s forsaken them: MORE »


TED KENNEDY

J.J. Walker: “It’s time that Americans…Go All In”

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

The great thing about this “blog revolution” is that anyone and everyone can have their voices heard. Even Jimmie “J.J.” Walker, who has a blog! Today, someone sent us Jimmie’s thoughts on Muslim congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN). Jimmie’s a little wary of this dangerous non-Christian lawmaking menace! MORE »


GEORGE W. BUSH

Thomas Jefferson’s Muslim Congressman Calls Bush Hitler

Monday, July 16th, 2007

'Arbeit macht frei' - WonketteRemember U.S. Representative Keith Ellison, who swore to destroy America on Thomas Jefferson’s copy of the Koran? Well, he’s still around and still plotting against us! The Minnesota congressman and Catholic-turned-Muslim told a group of infidels that 9/11 was pretty much the Reichstag fire and Bush is pretty much Hitler. MORE »


CONGRESS

Mouth-Breathing Racist Cop Latest To Call Rep. Keith Ellison a Terrorist

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

Nice mustache, shitty! - WonketteA thug cop known only for savagely beating black kids in Minneapolis and commanding a drug-raid squad that shot one of its own officers is in trouble again — this time for calling Congressman Keith Ellison a “terrorist.” MORE »


CONGRESS

Terrorist Congressman Terrorizes Non-Terrorist Congressman

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

Keith Ellison (D, al-Qaeda), last seen flushing Thomas Jefferson’s Koran down the toilet after swearing upon it to destroy us all, then viciously attacking Virgil Goode on the floor of of the House while Dennis Kucinich looked on and laughed maniacally, is at it again. MORE »


CONGRESS

Gossip Roundup: Gimme Some Money

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007

* Heard on the Hill: Congress took yesterday off to watch football. At the insistence, btw, of John Boehner… Crazy coot Thaddeus McCotter has begun sending out his insane “Thinking Points” memos. First one features Spinal Tap lyrics… Yes, Rep. G.K. Butterfield is black… Joe Biden is running for something! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Fenty inaugural ball featured 1,500 chairs for 15,000 attendees… The Bush Twins partied old-school last weekend at Smith Point, of all places, and Town Hall. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Members of Congress already submitting insane, doomed bills. Mike Huckabee suggests watching more shitty ’80s sitcoms is secret to happiness, success. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Dennis Kucinich introduced Keith Ellison and Virgil Goode. Some claim he did this to foster peace and harmony, but we know it’s just ’cause he likes to start shit… The Capitol Police didn’t recognize Keith Ellison until he produced his official Congressional BlackBerry, which he didn’t strike anyone with… Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Texas) declares intention to file FOIA request for every meeting of House Rules Committee. FOIA, of course, doesn’t apply to records of Congress. [The Hill]
* Rush & Molloy: Some guy wants George Clooney to star in a movie as Bill O’Reilly. [NYDN]


CRIME

Vandal With Lots of Time on Hands Target Virgil Goode

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

Virginia's for lovers! - WonketteRep. Virgil Goode, last seen demanding the deportation of a Muslim fellow congressman then awkwardly shaking his anti-American hand, is now the victim of vandalism. Really classy vandalism. MORE »


TOP

Virgil Goode Attacked By Muslim Terrorist On House Floor

Thursday, January 4th, 2007


The nerd with his back to the camera is Virginia Congressman Virgil Goode, who bravely vowed to deport Detroit-born black American Keith Ellison, due to Ellison being the first Islamo-fascist Arab to win a seat in the House. You’ll recall that Ellison (Terrorist-MN) chose to worship the Muslim god rather than the American god when performing the holy photo-op oath. MORE »