Tag Archives: keith ablow

  If You Love Someone Let Them Go Wild

Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!

Fox & Klanz
Fox News resident Psychopath psychiatrist Keith Ablow has Thoughts on the murder of two policemen in New York City this weekend. (We’re quite certain you were waiting to hear from him before deciding what you think of the horrific killings.) In addition to calling on New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to admit his personal responsibility for the murders, Ablow also insightfully diagnosed calls for police to be equipped with body cameras and to be trained in methods for de-escalating tense situations as signs of a sick society, calling it insulting to the good judgment of Our Protectors, who have done such an excellent job of protecting us from whatever criminals aren’t in blue uniforms. Read more on Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!…
  The real killer is still out there

Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: Let’s Charge Michael Brown’s Family With His Murder!

This crack team is on the case to find the real killer
In the ongoing competition to blame every single person in America for the death of Ferguson teenager Michael Brown — except, of course, for the guy who actually shot him to death — Fox News “psychiatrist” Keith Ablow has the new, niftiest theory of all: it was Brown’s family what done it! Read more on Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: Let’s Charge Michael Brown’s Family With His Murder!…
  Ablow Jobs For Freedom

White House Foolishly Ignores Insights Of Fox ‘Dr.’ Keith Ablow, World’s Worst Psychiatrist

Expert on narcissism
It might suck to be Keith Ablow this week. Bad enough that Ablow got dissed by the Associated Press yesterday, in a piece where writer David Bauder collected several quotes from real psychiatrists arguing that Keith Ablow is not merely a bad psychiatrist, but bad for psychiatry itself. But to add to this dressing-down from academics and practitioners, Ablow also has to deal with the knowledge that, no matter how many times he provides highly accurate diagnoses of Barack Obama’s psychological problems — like his abandonment issues and his pathological affinity for Africa instead of America — the deeply troubled President is probably not even aware of Ablow’s existence! Read more on White House Foolishly Ignores Insights Of Fox ‘Dr.’ Keith Ablow, World’s Worst Psychiatrist…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either.
Is it Saturday already? Must be time to put on the old Hazmat suit — which we never leave the house without now, on account of the ‘bola — and go skim off the worst of the dumbth in the comment queue for you, our dear readers. It’s an eclectic grab bag of goo this week, but we see that we moved some folks to political activism! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition…
  Probably should be quarantined

Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola

He doesn't look well, does he?
While the rest of the inmates at the Fox “News” asylum are having themselves the biggest pants-crapping meltdown over Ebolapocalypseghazigate since some Muslim guy inhaled and then exhaled just like a terrorist, Shep Smith — the guy known as the very lonely lone voice of occasional reason, which is the lowest damned bar imaginable, but okay — is sick of Fox freaking the freak out, and he is not going to take it anymore. Read more on Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola…
  To Affinity And Beyond

Fox’s Keith Ablow: Obama’s Doing Ebola To America Because Of His African Affinities

Fox & Klanz
Worst Psychiatrist Ever Dr. Keith Ablow of the Fox Network’s “Medical A-Team” — they were accused of medical expertise they didn’t have, we guess — explained Tuesday why Barack Negro Blackity-Blackfella Obama is allowing Ebola to run rampant in the United States, if by “rampant” you mean one patient who’s died and two nurses infected because their hospital was to containment what Fox is to reporting. Can you guess why Obama is letting — nay, inviting — the Ebola virus right into our homes? Could it possibly be because he is Not Truly American? Why, yes, yes it could! Read more on Fox’s Keith Ablow: Obama’s Doing Ebola To America Because Of His African Affinities…
  Ebola Virus Anagrams To 'A Lib Over Us'

Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe

I'm old, I don't need to make sense
Wingnuts who think it’s just crazy for Barack Hussein Obama to send U.S. troops to Africa to fight Ebola — don’t be silly, you can’t shoot a virus! — have themselves a new hero in Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe. Until this morning, he had blocked funding for the mission because he is an amoral asshole he has serious concerns about stretching the defense budget too thin at a time when we need to be ready to do war in Syria and stuff. Read more on Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe…
  Skinny Legs And All

World’s Worst Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Opens Yap To Explain Michelle Obama Is A Disgusting Fatty

Dr. Ablow will see you now.
Oh Lord, Keith Ablow is on the teevee making grunting sounds with his facehole, and those grunts have somehow formed stupid, stupid words, and now Keith Ablow looks like an asshole. In other news, it’s Tuesday. Read more on World’s Worst Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Opens Yap To Explain Michelle Obama Is A Disgusting Fatty…
  monsters from the id!

Keith Ablow May Be A Narcissist, But What Does Keith Ablow Think About That?

Well, here’s a heck of a thing: Dr. Keith Ablow, the Smartest Man on Fox TV, according to Dr. Keith Ablow, admits that he’s just a wee bit of a narcissist. On Outnumbered Tuesday, somehow the topic turned to Ablow’s opinion of his own skills, which he is happy to say is quite high. If he ever sought a second opinion, he said, it would usually be to ask himself “what do I really think.” And he noted that he’s still in therapy, because “I am not a finished work of art.” Protip to Keith Ablow’s therapist: work harder. Read more on Keith Ablow May Be A Narcissist, But What Does Keith Ablow Think About That?…
  two goals one cup

Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow Worries Most Popular Sporting Event On Planet Was Timed To Help Obama

Did you have a super fun time watching the USA SportingsBall team lose but not lose forever to Germany today? Well, shame on you for thinking about something other than Benghazi, you pitiful dupe! The worst psychiatrist anywhere, D. Keith Ablow, said today on Fox’s OutNumbered that he’s “a little suspicious about all this “World Cup” hoopla, because the timing is awfully convenient for one Barack Hussein Obama: At a time when there’s so many national issues and international issues of such prominence, I am a little suspicious of yet another bread and circus routine. Let’s roll out the marijuana, pull back the laws and get people more crazy about yet another entertainment event. This is to distract people. This is like Rome. I can see why Obama would love the World Cup. Read more on Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow Worries Most Popular Sporting Event On Planet Was Timed To Help Obama…
  dunder man

Worst Psychiatrist Ever Wants Drug Warnings On Facebook Because ‘Slender Man’ Makes Kids Stabby

We had been staying away from the awful story about the two 12-year-old Wisconsin girls who stabbed a schoolmate of the same age, supposedly under the influence of online horror stories about a fictional character named Slender Man (or Slenderman — both are used), because yecch. The good news is that the victim survived and has been released from the hospital; her attackers have been charged as adults, with attempted murder. But now we have to mention it, because Dr. Keith Ablow, the world’s worst psychiatrist, has weighed in on the case, and he wants to know just why the Surgeon General isn’t requiring warnings on Facebook and maybe the YouTubes, because scary ghost stories are clearly causing children to take knives and attack other children. In a completely unrelated story, “Dr.” Ablow also explained, based on no information at all, that the school shooting in Oregon this morning was the result of untreated mental illness, and had nothing to do with the easy availability of guns. Read more on Worst Psychiatrist Ever Wants Drug Warnings On Facebook Because ‘Slender Man’ Makes Kids Stabby…
  don't know nothin' 'bout 'bortin no babies

Oh, Guess Who Else Is Super Into The Whole ‘Men’s Rights’ Platform? (It Is Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow)

Glabrous scurf-picker Keith Ablow, who somehow maintains an on-air presence with Fox News despite being the worst psychiatrist in the world, devoted some quality Fox & Friends time Wednesday to the important issue of how the womens are just too uppity. You might think this would be a poor choice of topic just a few days after a California misogynist killed six people and himself because he believed women control men’s sexuality, but this is Fox News, for heaven’s sake, and besides, those murders happened because of the ghey. Read more on Oh, Guess Who Else Is Super Into The Whole ‘Men’s Rights’ Platform? (It Is Fox ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow)…
  had to take a break from benghazi!!!1!

Fox News, Keith Ablow Jump On Tiny Cartoon Genitals

Is there something stupid happening in the world? Fox News and “Dr.” Keith Ablow are ON IT. We first learned of the terrible horrible no good very bad tiny cartoon genitals of It’s Perfectly Normal from the perfectly normal Victoria Jackson. Then Ben Shapiro’s Internet Home for the Congenitally Encephalitic, TruthRevolt, got in on the tiny naked cartoon action. Now, some ladies plus Dr. Keith Ablow — who thinks having a doll will make William gay — are all atitter, because seeing tiny cartoon genitals (not to mention interracial cartoon love) will have 10-year-olds clamoring for threesomes. Guess they had to cut to something from Hillary Clinton kidnapping those Nigerian girls. Read more on Fox News, Keith Ablow Jump On Tiny Cartoon Genitals…
  our world confuses and frightens him

Fox News Shrink Keith Ablow Suggests Guy Texting At Movie Needed To Be Shot, Maybe, Why Not

Fox News professional psychiatrist-like person Keith Ablow is just full of fascinating insights about human behavior, such as how America elected Newt Gingrich President because he’s a virile adulterer and Barack Obama hates guns because of his daddy issues. And in fact, people with guns are almost never fully responsible for their actions, because there are other factors like abortion and facebook causing the murdering. He is especially worried about the pernicious effects of the Facebook and the Texting, and just last week was telling Bill O’Reilly all about how the smart phones are every bit as addictive as marijuana, and maybe even worse. So it’s hardly surprising that Ablow would also proclaim that, in order to truly understand Monday’s awful movie-theater shooting in Florida, we have to consider the possibility that it was motivated by “Data Rage,” which is a very real thing and not just something that Keith Ablow pulled out of his shiny metal ass: We have to look at something I’ll call “data rage,” just like “road rage.” We know that when people interact with machines, that sometimes they feel emboldened to do things that they never would; that it could be tremendously frustrating; and that people who could be vulnerable — by the way, they may impulsive to begin with, they may be explosive — add in technology or a machine and things could go over-the-top and become very violent. We suppose it’s not impossible that the telegraph or radio were blamed for driving people into a killing rage, too, so sure, why not. As we all know from Aristotle, things started going downhill once we developed literacy anyway and we no longer had to develop the mental discipline to memorize heroic epics. And so sometimes people like Chad Oulson who use the new information technology will just pay the price, like getting shot to death while texting their daughter’s daycare. Read more on Fox News Shrink Keith Ablow Suggests Guy Texting At Movie Needed To Be Shot, Maybe, Why Not…
  put a wingnut on it

Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Declares Marriage Dead, Removes Life Support, Burns Hospital To Ground

Never one to stoop to hyperbole, Fox News Psychiatric Head Doctor Keith Ablow proclaimed 2013 the year that marriage finally died, killed by the gays and the liberals and the courts and the polygamists, and also by the celebrities, too. Game over, man. GAME OVER! And just look at the evidence: More than a year ago, when states began to legalize gay marriage, I argued that polygamy would be the natural result. If love between humans of legal age is the only condition required to have the state issue a marriage license, then it is irrational to assert that two men or two women can have such feelings for one another, while three women and a man, or two men and a woman, cannot … Gay rights groups criticized me for suggesting that their bid for marriage rights would lead to polygamy being green-lighted. Well who’s laughing now, huh? Huh? Look what happened! A federal court judge overturned Utah’s polygamy law! And now the floodgates are open! Millions of polygamists are gonna start marrying each other all over the place! Never mind that what the judge really threw out was the part of the law that made cohabitation illegal — the granting of multiple marriage licenses is still very much illegal, and all the court did was to bring Utah law into line with other states’ bigamy statutes. But never mind, Ablow’s on a roll. Read more on Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Declares Marriage Dead, Removes Life Support, Burns Hospital To Ground…
  Show us on the doll where Obama hijacked you

Fox News Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Quacksplains: We Elected Obama Because We Are Hijacked Captives, Obviously

Greetings, fellow captives. Have you been asking yourself WHY OH WHY did we elect that awful terrible no good very bad Obama to president us when he is so awful terrible no good very bad and hates guns because of his daddy issues? Probably not, but just in case, Fox “News” resident quack Dr. Keith Ablow — who also helped us understand how Newt Gingrich’s chronic wife-cheatin’ is evidence of his strong moral character and how kids can catch the transsexual through their teevees — is here to quacksplain it to us: In a discussion on Fox Business’ Varney & Co. about the anniversary of the September 11 terror attack, host Stuart Varney asked Ablow whether America’s psyche had changed in the twelve years after the attack. Ablow responded that America suffers from a “captive mentality” like Stockholm Syndrome. As evidence, Ablow pointed to the election of Obama, who he claimed “doesn’t even like us, he hates us,” concluding that “when things get bad enough,” America “will elect a patriot[.]” Ah, yes, very insightful, doctor. We elected Obama because he hates us. No, wait, that does not make sense. Perhaps a few more analogies would help? Read more on Fox News Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Quacksplains: We Elected Obama Because We Are Hijacked Captives, Obviously…
  race to the bottom

Our Cup Runneth Over: Worst Psychiatrist Ever and Worst Mustache Ever May Both Run For Senate

Ohmygod psychiatrist Keith Ablow. We LOVE this guy. He does for psychiatry what Orly Taitz does for the law. Also, too, we get to write about him all the time. Quick overview if you’re not feeling all clicky-clicky: Obama was abandoned as a child and will always have a vacant gaping hole because of it and that gaping hole makes him not love guns, boys are not nearly manly enough and ladiez are always trying to emasculate them, Joe Biden probably has dementia, etc. etc. (Do not fucking libel Old Handsome Joe, Keith Ablow. We will cut you. CUT. YOU.). What is Fox psychiatrist Keith Ablow blathering on about now? Oh, just how he’d be generous enough to run for Senate if the GOP asks him really really nice-like: Read more on Our Cup Runneth Over: Worst Psychiatrist Ever and Worst Mustache Ever May Both Run For Senate…
  oliver twist hated guns too

Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Blames Gun Control Agenda On Sad Orphan Obama

So here is America’s Worst Psychiatrist, Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow, explaining to Lou Dobbs his deep insight into Barack Obama’s pathological obsession with taking guns away: the President still suffers from his feelings of abandonment from his childhood, so he seeks to have the government run everyone’s lives as some sort of surrogate family, a parent, perhaps, or an older sibling, let’s say, a kind of…”Big Brother” figure. As Ablow says, the real issue is everything but guns, and why don’t people recognize this? Possibly because they are all psychologically deranged as well! Read more on Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Blames Gun Control Agenda On Sad Orphan Obama…
  free to be me and me

Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll

Here is Dr. Keith Ablow, on Fox & Friends, blowing a Bill O’Reilly-like gasket at the state of the world today, as evidenced by — you may want to escort all children and pregnant women from the room — a mom buying a doll for her son. OH SHIT! GENDER-QUEERS! Now all boys are gonna be like Jenna’s boyfriend on 30 Rock, dressing up as Half-Cher! Read more on Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll…
  sure why not

Newt Gingrich’s Tawdry Affairs Secretly a Sign of Moral Strength

For anyone out there who continues to be nauseated by Newt Gingrich’s lifelong pattern of deception, adultery, selfishness and cruelty toward his wives, you’re just looking at it wrong! What his affairs actually demonstrate, when you really think about it, are his psychological strength and fitness for office. Huh? Oh come on now, Slate, you don’t need to be THAT contraria– OH WAIT, no, it’s screechy FOX NEWS family values thug Keith Ablow! And he has a very novel idea about morality to share: if you ignore it completely, Newt Gingrich is pretty much the only guy a right-wing social conservative voter should want to support. Read more on Newt Gingrich’s Tawdry Affairs Secretly a Sign of Moral Strength…
  teevee also made stupidity contagious!

Fox News Warns Parents Teevee Transsexuals Are Contagious To Their Kids

PARENTS: YOUR KIDS ARE CATCHING “THE TRANSSEXUAL” THROUGH THE TEEVEE. THIS IS SERIOUS. THIS IS HOW PIG AIDS STARTED, REMEMBER??? Fox News morality police chief Keith Ablow: Casting Chaz Bono on “Dancing with the Stars” is part of Chaz’s victory tour, which has included appearances on talk shows and the release of a book called “Transition.” Read more on Fox News Warns Parents Teevee Transsexuals Are Contagious To Their Kids…