Wonkette

Hmm, this sounds kind of familiar if you remember the Keating Five and S&L Collapse: “Nevada regulators have shut down Silver State Bank. It was the 11th failure this year of a federally insured bank. Andrew McCain, son of Republican presidential nominee John McCain, was a member of the bank’s board, but recently stepped down for ‘personal reasons …. ‘” Ha, whatever, McCain Crime Family. Meanwhile, the federal government is about to seize mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. [AP via Cryptogon/Wall Street Journal]

It is sad to think we will never be here again, at the Xcel Center Hockey Rink, in St. Paul of Minnesota. Ha ha, just kidding. We are so ready to get the living hell out of here! Do you know how long we’ve been covering these two conventions, in two cities 1,100 miles apart? FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Or 13 days, same thing, really. Let’s liveblog Walnuts McCain giving the speech of, er, the night! MORE »

Do you have time to read a 45-page-long first-person alt-weekly newsfeature about John McCain’s long life of being a political crook in Arizona and how everyone there fears and hates him? Of course not! Lucky for you, Wonkette has a team of offshore article readers, in Bangalore, who go through this stuff and whittle it down to a simple Top Ten list. You are welcome for this Service Journalism. MORE »

This whole “presumptive nominee” thing must be serious, because the New York Times just dumped a million-word “investigative report” on how John McCain is the sleaziest sack of scum since, uh, all the other Republicans who already dropped out of the race. Also: Did he have a Dirty Sex Affair with some lobbyist broad who looks suspiciously like his current wife? Let’s find out! MORE »