MITT ROMNEY POST SOMEHOW EATS DICK CHENEY POST: So where did that little post about Dick Cheney endorsing Kay Bailey Hutchinson go? you are wondering. We don’t know! Some complicated technological problem (”Jim Newell being retarded”) made us write the Mitt Romney post where the Dick Cheney post once was. This must have something to do with “Mizz Wonkette.” Anyway, yeah, uhhh, Dick Cheney is endorsing Kay Bailey Hutchinson, it’s big news! [Austin American-Statesman]

It’s becoming clear now that handsy Texas ball-of-fire Rick Perry, in notably indiscreet fashion, has been trying to cover-up or kill an investigation into the execution of an innocent man, which would show that… well… he and his staff could have maybe prevented this from happening! This is a major scandal, for serious. BUT LET US CONSIDER THE POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS. If you’re Kay Bailey Hutchison, and you have a Texas Republican primary against Rick Perry in a few months, how do you attack this from the right? How do you reconcile (a) the major opportunity to attack Rick Perry for this major thing and (b) the fact that the Republican base loves the death penalty and will always love it and want it and cherish it? Hmm… uhh… how about… Rick Perry is in cahoots with the liberals? Huh? Any objections? Fine, type up a statement. MORE »

To the surprise of no one, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison officially declared that she would be running for governor of Texas against Rick Perry, who could potentially serve FOURTEEN FRIGGING YEARS as head of that state. The race got off to a colorful unofficial start in late July when Internet sleuths discovered secret gay code words, such as “Rick Perry gay,” on the senator’s campaign site. MORE »

See, this is why we haven’t kicked Texas out of the union (yet): because sometimes Texans do funny things for us to laugh at. For example: unofficial Republican gubernatorial candidate Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has a web site that contained tasty little hidden phrases like “rick perry gay” that Governor Rick Perry’s people did not like so much. MORE »

True fact: Texas has had the same governor since the 1970s, when a man with a thickly feathered coif captured the hearts of many Texan ladies and cowboys. His name was Rick Perry, and he decided to keep running for governor every four years because voters were too dumb and lazy to ever notice that the ballot didn’t change. MORE »

Ha ha, Texas. Once this state secedes, where will the rest of America turn for laffs? (Answer: Oklahoma.) A senior strategist for Governor Rick Perry likened a more inclusive national Republican Party to a “whorehouse,” and all the GOP ladies in Texas just went nuts. MORE »

Now that John McCain is the official Republican Presidential nominee, it’s time to think about who will be his Vice President. When this question first arose several weeks ago, names like “Romney” and “Lieberman” came up. Now we can confirm that McCain’s running mate will probably be a lady! Two emphatic “no”s from Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice just prove how passionately these women ache to be the first female since Geraldine Ferraro to lose a bid for the number-two position. MORE »

• Heat Wave in California takes out aging power transformers, “When these transformers were installed, you had neighborhoods that weren’t air-conditioned, homes without two computers and five television sets.” [LAT]

• Bill Clinton stumped for Lieberman in Waterbury yesterday, “Lieberman did not mention Iraq or his support for the war, and Clinton touched only lightly on what he referred to as ‘the pink elephant in the room.’” [WP]
• 105 men “shackled at the wrists and the ankles” deported from Virginia. [WP]
• Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (Tex.) and Rep. Mike Pence (Ind.) sponsor new immigration plan today. Plan expects illegal immigrants to “self-deport,” apply for a visa, quickly return to work legally in the US. [WP]
• Govs. Schwarzenegger and Blagojevich pony up state money for stem cell research. [NYT]

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HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson’s defense of his April 28 remarks, in which he implied that a government contractor was denied a job after voicing opposition to the Bush administration, has been a communications disaster. Some of you may be wondering: Who’s in charge of the Secretary’s p.r. effort?

Someone who is now on “scheduled leave,” that’s who. Think Progress has the full details here, a post cataloging HUD’s inconsistent explanations over the past few days.

Our favorite detail: the HUD spokeswoman in question is named “Dustee Tucker.” We haven’t encountered a name this sexy since Stormie Janzen. And Dustee, just like Stormie, is quite attractive. Check out the drooling comments to this post, or just take a look at this picture:

We don’t make these names up, people. Sometimes truth is stranger — and better — than fiction.

After the jump, more Dustee Tucker photos — including one in which she bears a striking resemblance to Tiffani Thiessen, of “Beverly Hills, 90210″ fame.

Update: ThinkProgress now reports that (1) Secretary Jackson “deeply regrets” his “anecdotal remarks”; and (2) HUD Inspector General Kenneth Donohue will be investigating Secretary Jackson’s conduct.

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Sometimes books get pulled due to massive and widespread plagiarism. And sometimes they get pulled for more amusing reasons. Consider what happened to Leaving Women Behind : Modern Families Outdated Laws: MORE »

Overheard conversations are largely the territory of other blogs (both here in D.C. and elsewhere). But for some odd reason, lately we’ve received a lot of emails about funny things people have overheard. We’ll share some of them with you today. MORE »