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Posts Tagged ‘katon dawson’

ROAD TO RECOVERY

Steele Welcomes Moderates To GOP, But Only If They STFU

Monday, May 4th, 2009

If the GOP had any value, Michael Steele would have been publicly murdered and eaten by actual slaveowner Katon Dawson after losing the NY-20 race between Republican Jim “9/11 Anyone?” Tedisco and the PUMA leader Murphy. But Steele is still in power (FOR HOW LONG…?) and continues to promote such hip-hop debauchery as encouraging the violent band of transsexual gigolos known as “Moderates” to join his terrible party of misery and cancer and racism. Steele’s one condition, though? That if and when these Moderates join the party, they immediately journey to a dark corner of Hell and die silently, forever. MORE »


AND FOR BEING BLACK

Michael Steele In Trouble For Not Calling Obama ‘Socialist’

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on the trials of Michael Steele, the African-American who runs the Republican Party with his peculiar blend of comedic verve. They hate him, the other Republicans, because he wants to try new things. (Also because he is an abortionist.) We had thought that maybe he wasn’t in the news so much anymore because he had been secretly fired and exiled back to Prince George’s County, Maryland, while that South Carolina confederate colonel “Kat-On” assumed his rightful throne. But he’s still around and guess what? This: “Republican state party leaders are rebelling against new Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele for failing to dub President Obama and the Democrats as ’socialist.’” Oh my god. MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Southern Slave Owner Plotting Hit On Michael Steele

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

The dog's name? Oreo.South Carolina slaveholder Katon Dawson was this close to becoming the new RNC chairman, but the yankees rallied ’round Maryland black person Michael Steele, who has since brought disgrace to the white party by talking about hip hop and websites. THIS WON’T STAND. Dawson is now orchestrating a “no confidence” vote against this vaguely African fellow, Michael Steele, while Dawson’s North Carolina ally has demanded Steele stop talking about the rap music. MORE »


WORST JOB IN AMERICA

Furious Battle Over Which Loser Gets To Run RNC

Monday, January 5th, 2009

Pyrrhic victory.Once upon a time there was an organization called the Republican National Committee, which was run by competent people like Ed Gillespie and Ken Mehlman. They helped win elections and stuff, until 2006, when Republicans suddenly stopped winning anything. Since then, a succession of nobodies at the RNC have helped make the party into the obscure Southern fringe group it is today. So which of six brave men will get to lead the party into further irrelevance in the future? MORE »