kathryn-jean lopez
K-Lo Ticked Boston Marathon Tragedy Didn’t Happen While She Was in Town
Gosh darnit, Kathryn-Jean Lopez left Boston just when “news” started happening. Don’t worry, K-Lo, you still win the reporting award as usual for communicating the least amount of information about any given topic while still managing to make it all about yourself. What are we even talking about? Oh, right. There is a horrible tragedy [...]
Universe Implodes Under Combined Weight of Maggie Gallagher, Kathryn Jean Lopez’s Giant Brains
We had such high hopes for the greatest tete a tete of this or any era, When Maggie Met K-Lo. But it turns out, when you get two overly repressed spinsters together to kaffeeklatsch on Gays and Stuff, it is actually really fucking boring. Maggie and K-Lo are all like, boo Karl Rove, boo truces, [...]
Romney Campaign Adds ‘Chains’ To List Of Words Joe Biden Is Not Allowed To Say
The Romney Campaign just cannot believe it this time, and you will not either. You will be so embarrassed at the shameful tactics of your side, and will agree completely with the campaign’s demand for an apology. You guys, Joe Biden said “chains.”
‘Religious Freedom!’ Cries Crazy Texas Bigot What Don’t Want No ‘Negroidal Person’ Bagging His Vittles
Hey, crazy Texas bigots! Got any freedom of religion lawsuits you’d like to file today? Oh, it’s against your religion to have a black man bag your groceries? Sure, that will do! Little Green Footballs brings us the heartwarming News Journal tale of this Texas man a-whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ about how he don’t want no [...]
NRO Editor Kathryn Jean Lopez: Was Aurora Shooter Possessed By Beelzebub?
Does Kathryn Jean Lopez believe the Aurora shooter, James Holmes, was possessed by demons? She does not say so. What she says is that a story by a Catholic priest who says possession is real and posits that James Holmes was in fact possessed by demons, is “interesting.” Are RTs endorsements? Of course not, DON’T [...]
NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez Just Doesn’t See What All The Fuss Is About S-E-X
Kathryn Jean Lopez, better known by her gang moniker, K-Lo, is a pill. She is unpleasant and obsequiously pious and constantly telling all other American Catholics how they’re doing Catholicism wrong by actually following the edicts of Vatican II (which said Catholics should follow the dictates of their own consciences). She moans a lot about [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Gets Thrill Up Her Leg For Romney’s ‘Vision Thing’
Apparently, there has been a turning point in Mitt Romney’s campaign—a GOOD turning point of some kind. We know this because Kathryn Jean Lopez has taken to the National Review to inform us of such, even if she can’t quite identify exactly why this was a turning point, or what it means, or how it [...]
NRO Hires Racisty Racist It Can Dig Up, For Racism
It seems like just two months ago that the august and erudite National Review Online was having to face its terrible shame and can all its writers for being bald horrible racists. And yet their newest fellow likes to write things about how the Founding Fathers didn’t let black people vote for a reason. And [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Would Like You To Know She Has An S&M Relationship With The Lord
Hey National Review person K-Lo, what’s up! Have you had some time yet to regret your even dopier than usual column? Would you like to? Great, let’s get started! “I Have A Dopey Question For Time Magazine,” K-Lo begins, and yes, stopped clock/blind pig, etc. See Time Magazine had its annual let’s-blow-everybody issue, and sexxxy [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Simply Does Not Care for Louis C.K., ‘Women’
There has been such a dearth of commentary — a gaping hole, really — from both left and right about the Health and Human Services’ birth control coverage mandate. National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez will now fill the hole! And she will fill it, hard, with the important parts in it that everyone has been [...]
Who Should Win These Terrible Conservative Dinner Awards?
CPAC is this week! Have you bleached your American flag yet? Your Wonkette has and is looking forward to attending the world’s greatest annual conservative conference later this week. But until then: The pre-parties: What are they? Let’s take a look at the invitation someone forwarded us to this thing, the The Paul Weyrich Awards [...]
Republicans Weirdly Silent About NY Gay Marriage OK’d By Republicans
According to the Republican Party of America circa 2008, the biggest threat to America was a couple of nice gay people who live together and share all their expenses also being able to visit each other in the hospital, thanks to “gay marriage.” But now that New York State Republicans have approved Gay Marriage, the [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Asks Someone To Tell Her About Being Married
It’s Valentine’s Day, everybody — otherwise known as “the saddest day at National Review Online.” But NRO editor Kathryn Jean Lopez isn’t one to hide behind her sadness and resignation and Jonah Goldberg screensaver (when he was young and kind of cute). Instead, K-Lo asked a “marriage expert” to explain why she cannot seem to [...]
For Only 50¢ a Day, You Too Can Save a Kathryn Jean-Lopez’s Life
In rotation with Santa Claus, apparently this too is now a pop-up ad on the National Review‘s website. Please, as you enjoy your bounty and familial love this holiday season, please think of the less fortunate. Please, think of the young K-Lo in the streets of Mumbai, trying to blog from underneath the rubble of [...]
National Review’s K-Lo Furious Over Obama’s Reverse-Sexism
National Review overlord, abortion dragon, and self-loathing vagina Kathryn Jean Lopez had absolutely nothing to type about Elena Kagan’s nomination to the Supreme Court, so here is what she typed anyway. Don’t worry, K-Lo. Elena Kagan will never hire any of those lazy piece-of-shit women or minorities — especially Mexican women, COUGH COUGH MISS LOPEZ [...]
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