March 7, 2014
Let’s say you’re Bill O’Reilly. First, you have our sympathies. Second, how is it you ever rose to a position where you’re interviewing anyone more important than the Great Neck sanitation commissioner? Do you have pictures of Roger Ailes fucking barnyard geese or playing in a drum circle in Hyde Park in 1968 with Bill […]
Maybe as a good liebrul you are a little ticked off at Kathleen Sebelius right now. You want Nobamacare to be perfect and rousingly smashing in its success, and whether or not Congress allocated enough funds for her to actually do her fucking job (hint: it didn’t!), she kind of did not do a wedding-at-Cana-style […]
The tweet was promising. First, it was from K-Lo, Kathryn Jean Lopez — previously seen instructing us that we should give our kids boundaries like “no you may not shoot up a school” — and it read “When to Call an Exorcist?” OK, K-Lo, we will bite, you lovable pile of batshit. When, indeed, to […]
Tennessee congressjerk Marsha Blackburn doesn’t hold with an oppressive federal government meddling in people’s choices — unless of course it involves sluts who want contraception or abortions, duh — and she gave HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius a piece of her mind about it at Wednesday’s Yell-At-Obamacare hearing in the House, pointing out that maybe Americans […]
Oh, Barry, that’s a hell of a nice way to handle hecklers: “You’re at the wrong rally! The climate change rally was back in June!” And hey, hecklers, good chanting! We kind of understood you, which is a step up for presidential speech-hecklers, so that’s kind of a win, too. Everybody’s a winner! That was […]
First up! We can’t improve on this Buzzfeed story (!) so go get you some New Pope, bein’ best! Hey, What’s Jim Newell been up to lately? Just stone cold liveblooging the Sebelius hearings is what! Let us know if anything happens, okay you guys?
Are you having trouble keeping track of all the stupendously mind-numbingly bad Obamacare analogies? Yes, it is just like Hitler. No, it is not an iPhone. It is sort of like Green Eggs and Ham. Well, thanks to National Journal’s Very Serious Columnist Ron Fournier, we have a new one to melt our brains like […]
For some time there’s been a simmering freakout on the right about how the Affordable Care Act did sex with the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and now everyone who visits an ObamaKare Throat-Booting Center will be force-fed a voter registration form while Kathleen Sebelius tattoos DEMORAT COMMIE 4 LYFE on their necks. Sounds […]
Why is total mob capo of the DHS HHS Kathleen Sebelius shaking down companies to send arms to Iran so it can rape Nicaraguan nuns? This is an excellent question, one posed just this week by Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander, previously known for being the boring guy who ran for president before Jon Huntsman whose […]
Hey there, teenagers who want emergency contraceptions! The FDA says you should be allowed to buy it, but the Department of Health and Human Services says you shouldn’t, and Obama isn’t really helping at all with this one, so if you’re scared you might be pregnant just keep reading the newspaper until you see an […]
For the first time in the 105-year history of the Food and Drug Administration an FDA directive has been publicly overruled by the department of Health and Human Services. About what? About teenagers doing it! That’s right, FDA commissioner Margaret Hamburg released a statement yesterday declaring that Plan-B, an emergency contraceptive long known to anyone […]
Kathleen Sebelius is asking all card-carrying commies to send an e-greeting to our Dear Leader Barack Obama, in support of his Red Menace public option. Chuck Grassley correctly identified this atrocity as Maoist propaganda wrapped in bacon. And it smells delicious. [Hot Air] The data is clear: Americans would prefer to be anal-probed by UFOs, […]
Things have gotten too comfortable between America and America’s husband, sensitive-seeming ginger Chuck Todd. He does not even cover his nose when he sneezes anymore, like a gross person. This is disgusting, as Kathleen Sebelius publicly explains for a good minute. Sneeze like you used to sneeze, Chuck.