Kathleen Parker is one of the many conservative columnists who was run out of Crazy Town by wrathful yokels brandishing pitchforks and shouting “NOBAMA” when she dared venture the opinion that Barack Obama was a smart man while John McCain had sold his withered “soul” to the toothless wingnut contingent of the Republican party. Parker appears to be coming back around, though. MORE »

Today is an exciting day on the Corner, the best National Review blog on the Internet, period. Not only is the fat Mexican secretary Jonah Goldberg yelling at slummy Kathleen Parker for trying to sneak into the Sexy Obama Dance Parties with her Gorilla God-hating cigarette dildo columns, but Parker’s ex-BFF, Kathryn Jean Lopez — who No Longer Reads Wonkette — has been begging National Review’s readers for money in at least 20 million posts for the last two days. Donate, people! MORE »

There were always two of them, at America’s favorite comedy blog, National Review Online. It was the Rule of the Two, as written by Dark Lord Reagan, on Dagoba. “Kathleen” would be a clever writer and kind of funny and attractive, although still a terrible Fascist, and “Kathryn” would be, well, “K-Lo.” Obviously, the smarter of the two would eventually be forced to admit that Sarah Palin is a dumb cretin. And now this one, Kathleen Parker, is touching herself in a tub of Holy Water, while smoking her last cigarette and laughing at the idiot bible-thumpers who ruined the Republican Party, forever. This is all in the Washington Post! MORE »

We don’t really know how anyone could justify Sarah Palin’s placement on the ticket after those Katie Couric interviews. She shouldn’t be vice president at all — she should be president! For life! No?? Ha she is so rancid, and now even the wingnuttiest National Review dingbats are starting to agree. Check out this denunciation from Kathleen Parker, famous for once justifying a racist’s claim that we need “someone who is a full-blooded American as president,” meaning not Barack Obama. (She also frequently holds these godawful crabby sob-chats with her slightly stupider NRO friend, Kathryn Jean Lopez.) Why is Kathleen Parker being so sexist again po’ Sarah P? [National Review]

It’s not just John McCain, but all of “these people,” who can think of no better way to spend their time than by making petty one-liners about Barack Obama giving a speech to a large number of human beings somewhere. Famous conservative bastion The Corner — the National Review’s chit-chatty blog — is having a field day even by its high standards. After the jump, some of the notable moments from this online club of semi-literate divorcees forever bitching about their exes. MORE »

You should really check out this column that’s been floating around since last week, if you have not yet done so: “A full-blooded American.” Random columnist Kathleen Parker quotes a 24-year-old West Virginian who said he will vote for John McCain over Barack Obama because he would be more comfortable with “someone who is a full-blooded American as president.” Kathleen Parker, um, agrees, noting that “it’s about blood equity, heritage and commitment to hard-won American values. And roots,” that makes certain candidates “get” America. This Kathleen Parker is actually married to Lord Voldemort. [Jewish World Review via Matt Yglesias]

Citizens of Wonketteville, fear not. As we promised, your beloved Wonkette Emerita, Ana Marie Cox, will be making regular appearances in these pages. Last week, she liveblogged the SOTU. This week, she drops the science of “Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew,” a weekly round-up of the Sunday shows that will typically appear each Monday. (This week’s installment was held up for various technical reasons that we won’t bore you with — oh, and the Super Bowl had something to do with it too.)

And now, without further ado, Ana Marie Cox.

AMC: We worried that this was too late in the day for a recap of the Sunday shows, but, hell, you’re still watching that GoDaddy.com ad, anyway, aren’t you? [Ed. note: This was drafted on Super Bowl Sunday, in case you haven't figured that out.]

This week’s line-up: This Week, Fox News Sunday, The Chris Matthews Show, Meet the Press and Face the Nation.

Guest Ginsburg Rating: Deputy director of national intelligence Michael Hayden gets a 2 out of 4, showing up on both “This Week” and “Fox News Sunday.” Rep. John Boehner ties, guesting on “FNS” and “Meet the Press.”

What Everyone’s Talking About:
1. NSA wiretap program. All the shows hit it except for “Chris Matthews,” but he tapes on Friday afternoon and you know, this hasn’t really been in the news and no one knew the hearings were coming and plus he’s got to have time for his self-indulgent commentary at the end, so he’’s excused.
2. John Boehner’s election as House Republican leader. Again, 4 of 5 shows and again Matthews marching to a different beat.
3. SOTU detritus was hit by everyone but NSA and Boehner got more focus, so we’re dropping its ranking to three.
4. The “cartoon controversy,” which always sounds like it should be about Bill O’Reilly but it’s not. Played on everyone but Matthews (perhaps he doesn’t want to compete with “Hardball”) and “Face the Nation.” (This is the story they all should have led with).

One hit wonders: “This Week” on girls’ self esteem (you go!), “FNS” on the surgeon general, “Chris Matthews” on “Brokeback Mountain” (apparently you can tell a lot about a country by the popular movie it produces), and “Face the Nation” on Nixon and outhouses. No shit.

Quotes to live by: Mehlman says Hillary Clinton “seems to have a lot of anger” (especially around the issue of infidelity); Hayden pleads, “I can’t tell you how much I’d like to go into the operational details of this” (he also can’’t tell us how much he’d like to kill us if he did tell us); Boehner brags, “I have 11 brothers and sisters and my father owned a bar” (and don’t forget those 11 kids can still kick your weedy anchorman ass); Andrew Sullivan pines for “big daddy government” (preferably in leather).

There were no appearances by Joe Biden. Could someone call his house?

Comprehensive, even exhaustive, summary of yesterday’s non-sports-related showboating after the jump.

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• Kathleen Parker recalls a high school book report and undergoes a severe mental paroxysm during which she realizes that if it weren’t for narcissists like her, bloggers would have piloted the planet into the sun by now. MORE »

Kathleen Parker shows off the chops it takes to be a star columnist at the Orlando Sentinel:

And the media wonder why newspaper circulations are dropping and why Fox News dominates television ratings over the networks and other cable programs.

For the week of November 28th through December 4th, NBC Nightly News averaged 10.5 milliion nightly viewers, ABC World News Tonight averaged 9.1 million, and CBS Evening News averaged nearly 8 million. MORE »