Kathleen Parker
Liberal Fascists Strip Pulitzer Nominations From World’s Greatest Pundit Jonah Goldberg
Rend your clothes, tear your hair, and weep weep for Doughy Pantload, as Liberal Fascists have ripped his two Pulitzer Prize nominations from his cold dead hands. Wait, Jonah Goldberg was nominated twice for the Pulitzer Prize? No, and the Pulitzer people are really, really tired of people claiming they were “nominated” when they sent [...]
Parker-Spitzer Ratings Tank, Proving Existence Of Loving God
CNN this year has posed a bold question: Is America ready for a TV news/chat/whatever show co-hosted by an ex-governor disgraced for patronizing prostitutes and a Pulitzer-prize winning columnist who hates both half-breeds and snowbillies? America has taken its time getting back to us on this, but we finally heard from them, and they said [...]
Kathleen Parker Writes Transcript of Dumb ‘Morning In America’ Ad
What constitutes a Washington Post op-ed these days? Typing up a transcript of this ad from YouTube and adding grafs such as “Brilliant.” and “Sad.” Take note, America’s Next Damn Pundit. This sort of thing could get you your very own teevee show co-hosted by an adulterer!
Check Out Eliot Spitzer’s Amazing New On-Air Chemistry!
This thing is debuting October 4 and will be called Parker Spitzer, which is what all good trailer-park Americans are naming their children these days, because they saw some celebrity name their child that. Will we get to witness these amazing Spitzer sports comedy stylings we see a glimpse of at the :45 mark EVERY [...]
Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Iceman Cumeth
Polar Bear fetishist Al Gore took a break from saving the world in 2006 to allegedly tell a masseuse to melt his iceberg. Actual literate person, Greer Mansfield, joins the Wonkette staff to review Glenn Beck’s new chick-lit novel. Fresh from dumping the lovely Campbell Brown, CNN lowers its standards and acquires a new piece [...]
Eliot Spitzer, Kathleen Parker To Be Quarantined On Terrible CNN Show
Do you worry every time you leave your house about encountering Eliot Spitzer, who will attempt to pay you for sex, or Kathleen Parker, who will attempt to determine if you are a “full-blooded American,” and then bludgeon you with her Pulitzer Prize if you aren’t? Well, now at least the period from 8 to [...]
Pulitzer Prize Columnist: Does Elena Kagan Not Meet ‘Ordinary-People Principle,’ By Being Terrible?
The Washington Post‘s Kathleen Parker, recently named the best commentator in all of American journalism by the Pulitzer Prize committee, has written some crap today about, let’s see, Elena Kagan, the arch-lesbian. Is Elena Kagan not ordinary enough to win confirmation to the nation’s highest legal authority? Why is she from New York and not [...]
WASHINGTON POST IS GREATEST NEWSPAPER ALIVE! According to the Pulitzer Prizes, which were just announced this morning. The Post won four, besting the New York Times in their annual inside joke of a contest. For our purposes, the winner of Best Commentary was… freaking Kathleen Parker “for her perceptive, often witty columns on an array [...]
KATHLEEN PARKER’S NEIGHBOR WILL SHOVEL YOUR SNOW: Don’t worry! The latest snowfall did not disrupt Kathleen Parker’s scheduled Washington Post column today. PHEW. It is about how men, like her USA Today columnist neighbor, enjoy shoveling snow for fun, while women only shovel snow because they have to. Similarly: men have penises, while ladies just [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Corner Posts In Which K-Lo Begs For Money
Today is an exciting day on the Corner, the best National Review blog on the Internet, period. Not only is the fat Mexican secretary Jonah Goldberg yelling at slummy Kathleen Parker for trying to sneak into the Sexy Obama Dance Parties with her Gorilla God-hating cigarette dildo columns, but Parker’s ex-BFF, Kathryn Jean Lopez — [...]
Kathleen Parker Mocks the Wingnuts’ God
There were always two of them, at America’s favorite comedy blog, National Review Online. It was the Rule of the Two, as written by Dark Lord Reagan, on Dagoba. “Kathleen” would be a clever writer and kind of funny and attractive, although still a terrible Fascist, and “Kathryn” would be, well, “K-Lo.” Obviously, the smarter [...]
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