This week’s Wonk’d features at least three sightings that we actually believe happened! Plus one joke + invasive picture of some dude on the metro and one almost-plausible Mark Foley sighting. Slim pickins, but hardly anyone’s been in town for two weeks. We expect things to pick up come January, but until then, enjoy John McCain, Katherine Harris, Megyn Kendall, and a “Jack Abramoff”, after the jump.

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From the Department of Plausible and Possibly True Rumors:

A friend of mine ran into Katherine at a local restaurant and she boasted to her about receiving “tons and tons of offers from lobbying firms.”

But she went on and said that she is “focused on becoming a radio show host on one of the conservative Christian stations or the host of her own political television show.” And that her very good friend Sean Hannity is “opening doors for her on Fox.”

Please Santa, let this be true.

The teevee part, at least. There’s no money in “conservative Christian radio,” as far as we know, and we need to watch the Kitty.

* Fake Kitty Harris and real Fancy Ford sightings at Morton’s last night. [blah, blah black sheep]
* Plus, Angelina Jolie possibly in town, Robert DeNiro and Matt Damon in Fairfax. [DCist]
* The Smoking Ban is coming. You guys realize this was half the reason we moved here from New York, right? We’d never even heard of a “Wonkette,” we just wanted a smoke with our Manhattan. [hey pretty]
* The WABA Holiday Party is tonight from 5-8PM. [WABA]
* Give yourself that holiday bonus by making your own stationery movies. [Whatever Happened to My...]
* “I like to read the New Yorker and the Writer’s Almanac, play soccer and swim and listen to Beethoven. But I want to cavort naked with a sensual, smart, self-confident woman…” [Craigslist]

The tipsters have gotten themselves on the “good” list and uncle Wonk’d has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.

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We assume Kitty will be following this little workshop with one called “Plotting Your Revenge,” but we are eternal optimists. MORE »

Last Thursday, we went to the National Portrait Gallery for the very first time. Not out of any deep underlying love of art or interest in American history, but for free booze and questionable celebrities. Yes, it’s a Capital File party! Specifically, the Cap File First Anniversary Party, starring, for some reason, Iman!

We brought along our girl Friday, Liz Gorman, whose fantastic (as always) pictures are all available in this fancy new gallery thing right here.

After the jump, our half-remembered party report.

Capital File Party Gallery

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This is kind of the saddest thing we’ve ever posted. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Lieberman’s new flack: hack-of-all-trades Marhsall “Bullshit Moose” Whittmann. Only problem: he’s a Republican and Senator WALNUTS McCain’s strongest supporter. And he’s one helluva media whore… The Starbucks on New Jersey and E has this “customer testimonial” from “Timothy H., congressional page:” “When I bought a case of Starbucks coffee, the text messages stopped coming” … Former Tom Daschle flack starts Pro-Obama website, emails everyone on Hill about it… Katherine Harris news: “She’s sitting at home plotting her future and secretly hoping (praying?) that Vern’s election is overturned so that she can run again in ‘08,” former Harris staffer says. Please, Jesus. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: The Youth of Today! Or, like a couple years ago: Gen X’ers in positions of mostly-ceremonial power! Rep. Adam Putnam, Aged 8! Some Rep.-elect named “Kirsten!” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Esther Coopersmith holds a Thanksgiving Party for diplomats. Some of us just went to Galaxy Hut and sang karaoke, but that sounds cool too… A fond look back at the US before Iraq: Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ topped the charts, America thrilled to Eugene Levy’s embarrassing white-guy-rapping gimmick in Bringing Down the House. Truly a more innocent time… Senator whose state loves her the most: Olympia Snowe… Bob Novak went to the Panthers game with a young lady, didn’t have a very good time. [Examiner]
* Page Six: NY AG-elect Andrew Cuomo hired Clinton FBI head/Whitewater obsessive Louis Freeh. [NYP]

Sure, we laugh at Katherine Harris’ strong Christian/Jewish faith, and we laugh at how her god(s) betrayed her, but we’re ready to acknowledge an actual supernatural miracle when it happens. MORE »

We were momentarily intrigued by this ridiculous scenario suggested by a Wonkette op:

If Ken Mehlman (as CNN reports) is being replaced by Mel Martinez, does that mean Charlie Crist will appoint Katherine Harris to fill his Senate seat? Too good to be true?

Tragically, it’s too good to be true. We’ve just learned that Martinez will bring the Republican Party back to the 14th Century while simultaneously serving Florida as a corrupt bat-shit-crazy senator. MORE »

The nut who sent fake anthrax to Nancy Pelosi and Keith Olbermann was arrested by the FBI this weekend (the nut who sent real anthrax to various folks remains at large). His name: Chad Conrad Castagna, which sounds really fake. Thankfully, Chad was the kinda guy who signed his blog comments with his real name, which allows for hilarious post-arrest Googling. MORE »