Wonkette

Yes, Katherine Harris is living in her car parked at the Cannon House Office Building and lost her Senate race and is no longer a congresswoman, but she’s still a great American! MORE »

According to Heard on the Hill, Kitty Harris, last seen handing out business cards at the State of the Union, is still living the crazy dream. MORE »

Hey, you recognize that old familiar 3/4 profile? That’s right, it’s Kitty Harris, who, thank god, has not yet and hopefully never will actually leave Washington. Or even the Capitol. She attended the State of the Union last night, and Washington Whispers caught her handing out her business cards to anyone she could reach. MORE »

She’s so much fun, sometimes we forget she’s also a crooked politician who put GWB in the White House and ran with the same bribery crowd as Duke Cunningham. But we got this tip today to remind us all over again:

Was told the FBI, DOJ and DoD investigators made another round of visits to her former staff.

Terse and intriguing! In November, the FBI interviewed two of Katherine Harris’ top staffers — former chiefs of staff Dan Berger and Ben McKay — about all the bribes she took from convicted criminal Mitchell Wade. Let’s see if her precious Jesus can help her now. MORE »

The honorable Vern Buchanan of Florida’s honorable 13th congressional district didn’t get a real warm welcome from House Democrats, because he won under absurdly suspicious circumstances. Outgoing governor Jeb Bush certified Buchanan’s bogus 369-vote “win” — 18,000 voters mysteriously avoided choosing a new House representative. Thanks to legendary Florida secretary of state and former 13th District congresslady Kitty Harris, totally unaccountable e-voting machines were used. MORE »

It’s a new year in Wonk’d but all the famous-for-dc cats have already broken their resolutions. Laura Bush only made it 3 days before she was back on the sauce, Robert Novak may have been at the happiest place on Earth, but he was still an asshole, and of course there’s Katherine Harris, as you can see, taking to the streets of Florida during the warmest winter ever, in an ankle length fur coat. You get these dandies plus a Member of Congress who loves to stare at members of men, after you unzip.

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It is truly sad that a woman who gave so much — especially Florida, which she gave to Dubya in 2000 — is all but forgotten in the Nation’s Capitol. No thanks from Dick Cheney as he makes the Senators recite the Law of Thelema, no medal from George himself, no nothing. MORE »

Let’s turn, now, to Katherine Harris, former Wonkette Flame. MORE »

This week’s Wonk’d features at least three sightings that we actually believe happened! Plus one joke + invasive picture of some dude on the metro and one almost-plausible Mark Foley sighting. Slim pickins, but hardly anyone’s been in town for two weeks. We expect things to pick up come January, but until then, enjoy John McCain, Katherine Harris, Megyn Kendall, and a “Jack Abramoff”, after the jump.

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From the Department of Plausible and Possibly True Rumors:

A friend of mine ran into Katherine at a local restaurant and she boasted to her about receiving “tons and tons of offers from lobbying firms.”

But she went on and said that she is “focused on becoming a radio show host on one of the conservative Christian stations or the host of her own political television show.” And that her very good friend Sean Hannity is “opening doors for her on Fox.”

Please Santa, let this be true.

The teevee part, at least. There’s no money in “conservative Christian radio,” as far as we know, and we need to watch the Kitty.

* Fake Kitty Harris and real Fancy Ford sightings at Morton’s last night. [blah, blah black sheep]
* Plus, Angelina Jolie possibly in town, Robert DeNiro and Matt Damon in Fairfax. [DCist]
* The Smoking Ban is coming. You guys realize this was half the reason we moved here from New York, right? We’d never even heard of a “Wonkette,” we just wanted a smoke with our Manhattan. [hey pretty]
* The WABA Holiday Party is tonight from 5-8PM. [WABA]
* Give yourself that holiday bonus by making your own stationery movies. [Whatever Happened to My...]
* “I like to read the New Yorker and the Writer’s Almanac, play soccer and swim and listen to Beethoven. But I want to cavort naked with a sensual, smart, self-confident woman…” [Craigslist]

The tipsters have gotten themselves on the “good” list and uncle Wonk’d has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.

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We assume Kitty will be following this little workshop with one called “Plotting Your Revenge,” but we are eternal optimists. MORE »