KARL ROVE IN CONTEMPT: “A U.S. congressional panel voted on Wednesday to find former presidential adviser Karl Rove in contempt for defying a subpoena to testify in its probe into suspected political meddling at the Justice Department.” [REUTERS]

AP’s NEW D.C. CHIEF HEARTS KARL ROVE: That newish Associated Press Washington bureau chief, Ron Fournier, is making AP copy all dumb and bloggy. Also, he e-mailed this to Karl Rove about Pat Tillman, the anti-Iraq War hero who was slaughtered by his own troops in Afghanistan: “The Lord creates men and women like this all over the world. But only the great and free countries allow them to flourish. Keep up the fight.” [Gawker/TPM Muckraker]

Karl Rove ignored a subpeona and skipped a House Judiciary Committee hearing this morning because he had “prior commitments” or somesuch. Rumor has it the commitments involved corn cobs, a tank of nitrous, and one very lucky goat on a Sicilian hillside, which naturally took precedence over this little attorney-firing selective prosecution [so many Justice Deparment scandals to keep track of! -- Ed.] flap. [Think Progress, YouTube]

Brilliant Republican strategist Karl Rove is not Arrogant, or an Elitist. He has helped his party help poor people and the underrepresented by flying young men and women to Iraq, which they may colonize for a brighter, more prosperous future. Rove knows what an Elitist is, and it is Elitist Barack Obama. This morning, Rove was speaking with a group of poor, Average Americans known as “Republican insiders at the Capitol Hill Club” to describe, in layman’s terms, Barack Obama: he is like “that guy” at the “country club” who, uh, won’t be sociable with the other members. And if Bitters know one thing, it’s the subtle internal politics of country club cocktail hours. MORE »

SEE WHAT EVERYONE’S SAYING ABOUT SCOTT MCCLELLAN’S NEW #1 BOOK, GEORGE BUSH JR. MADE VAGUE ERRORS!

“I would think if he harbored such deep feelings about things he wouldn’t have and shouldn’t have accepted the press secretary job in the first place.” — ARI FLEISCHER, bald press secretary before Scott McClellan.
“Total crap.” — DAN BARTLETT, former White House communications director.
“Left-wing logger.” — KARL ROVE, White House turd blossom.
“I totally agree.” — NANCY PELOSI, known Liberal.
“Why don’t you learn something about the monument.” — HILLARY CLINTON, civil rights leader.

WHAT A BOOK! (Now let us never speak of it again.)

Wonkette comical typos operative “Ron” sends us this screen shot of a CNN.com article in which Karl Rove lets slip a revelation of his own about terrible snitch Scott McClellan. McClellan’s syntax in his new book reeks of liberal blogging filth? No, that’s not what Rove is revealing at all! Rove is trying to tell us that homosexual lumberjack communities in the Pacific Northwest are McClellan’s inspiration! IS THIS NOT CLEAR TO EVERYONE? [CNN]

Karl Rove knows how to win elections, and he would like to share some top-secret election-winning techniques with Barack Obama! Or is this some reverse double Axel bizarro technique coaching guaranteed to make Obama EPIC FAIL come November? Review Karl Rove’s 7 Steps to Electoral Success and decide for yourself! MORE »

Huzzah, the merciful Angel Maroni has spoken to Mitt Romney and instructed him to lobby hard for the Vice Presidential nod, making a comical jackass of himself as he attempts to become the running mate of the man who despises him above all others. And now two Republican party elders have joined Romney in this embarrassing quest: Karl Rove and former President George Bush. MORE »

This is homosexual ex-county commissioner Bruce Barclay, who had sex with hundreds of male prostitutes and has footage of it all. Many of these prostitutes came from “harrisburgfratboys.com”, and this is one of them and his name is Karl Rove. But there are more, thanks to Barclay’s website! MORE »

Being a “college journalist” is impossible. You, a hot-ticket Harvard teevee anchor, cheat the system and land some big interview, thinking your ultra-famous star subject will expect softballs from the college kid. Defiantly, you plan to ask some tough, racy questions to hit your subject offguard. Then you get to the interview and realize that you’re talking one-on-one with Karl Rove and are going to ask him about John McCain’s black baby. Awkward! [YouTube]

The pagan nation of Iowa pooped emphatically on the glorious political legacy of Karl Rove when University of Iowa students booed the great leader at a speech this weekend. Rove was paid $40,000 in exchange for tolerating a rain of invective that did not end until he glopped his pasty carcass off the stage. MORE »