Tag: karl rove

If We’re Lucky, All The 2016 GOP Candidates Could Land In Jail Before The Election

Did you guys know it is hella tough to bring the funny when it comes to campaign finance scandals, because you have to explain coordination and superPACs and oh Christ we're bored already. We'll make an exception, though, for...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Don’t You Dare Say “Not All Men” Edition

As it damn well should, the Times leads with the horrific shooting in California Friday night, but nothing about the Times's dispassionate reporting style can capture the godawful misogyny that is at the core of Eliot Rodger's murderous rampage...

Stephen Colbert’s Many Weird Tricks For Defeating Hillary Clinton (Video)

Here's Stephen Colbert with a few suggestions for how the GOP can defeat Hillary Clinton, just in case the whole "brain damage" thing doesn't work out. Gotta get tough -- after all, this isn't the '90s, when the Clintons...

Hillary Clinton Either Evil Genius Or Drooling Idiot, Say Drooling Idiots On Fox News

This weekend a scaly, horrifying, rage-addled lizard rose from the depths of its subterranean lair and slithered onto screens all over the country, where it opened its jaw and shrieked high-pitched noises at terrified Americans as it stomped its...

Stephen Colbert Is Worried About Karl Rove’s Brain (Video)

Stephen Colbert brings you the definitive analysis of Karl Rove's recent medical genius, in which the Republican operative and Fox News pundit diagnosed Hillary Clinton with brain damage. Sure, Rove's gotten a lot of flack for the completely unfounded...

Karl Rove Pretty Sure That Hillary Clinton Has A Brain Injury That Caused Benghazi

Everybody knows that the denizens of Fox News dwell in a fetid fact-free swamp, a veritable no-holds-barred cage match to see who can lie in the most spectacular way, so it isn't really surprising that Karl Rove oozed his...

Republicans Wasting $14 Million On IRS Non-Scandal Investigation. Food Stamps Still Being Cut.

Hey look! It’s another day, so let’s talk more about the IRS non-scandal, because apparently there is no end to the Republican appetite for self-embarrassment. As we all know, there has been absolutely no evidence of wrongdoing by the...

Roger Ailes Did Not Spend All That Money On A Glass Desk To Not Be Able To See Your Snatch

Roger Ailes, that jowly old leftover from the Cantina scene in Star Wars, turns out to be exactly the sort of high-minded gentleman that you might expect, assuming his mind is located a few inches south of his belt...

Tough Guy Mitch McConnell Gonna Punch All Those Tea Party Bullies POW Right In The Nose

You know who is a tough guy? Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is a tough guy, and you know this is true, because in a conference call with Karl Rove and other RINOs, he said why, why, he's agonna...

Secret Conservative Group ‘Groundswell’ Plotted World Domination Through Unbeatable Combination Of Hashtags And Whining

David Corn has a big scoopy scoop today and it is a dose of pure, uncut, unadulterated schadenfreude injected directly into our veins. And we hate needles! Still, we shot up and our eyes rolled back in our head...

Tea Party: We Put Karl Rove In That Nazi Uniform *By Accident*

Hey there fellow mommybloggers! Remember that time your DC (DARLING CHILD, IDIOTS) had a slumber party and you let them stay up and gallivant about until finally, at four in the morning, you busted into their room screaming like...

Hateful Jerks Demand Hateful Jerk Be Fired For Calling Another Hateful Jerk A Hater

Oh, dear, it looks like our pals in Wingnut America are going all internecine on each other once more. See if you can decide which group of loathsome fucktoads to root for in this one! (The answer is, of...

Rove v. Walsh: The Battle To Be the Worstest Loser Begins!

Aren't wingnut fightsies the best? Watching the GOP internecine (YES WE SAID INTERNECINE BECAUSE IT IS AN AWESOME WORD WE NEVER GET TO USE) post-election struggles is the best liebrul fap material. Today's fight: Joe Walsh vs. Karl Rove. Remember...

Anonymous Claims It Stopped Karl Rove From Hacking The Election By Hacking ORCA, We Think

Oh cool, Anonymous (we think it is Anonymous?) says Karl Rove was gonna vote fraud all the Machines, and that's why he was so flabbergasted and refused to believe it when Fox called Ohio for Bamz, but they stopped...

Karl Rove To Murder Todd Akin, Maybe

Yesterday Karl Rove met with a group of billionaires in a secret room in Tampa, where he suggested that murdering Todd Akin might be an appropriate means of delivering his party to higher, more Senate-controlling vistas. It's about time...

Karl Rove’s Charity Has Very Charitable Purpose Of Buying Election For Mitt Romney

Hello, bleeding heart liberals, we know you are already very excited about hating SuperPACs but could you perhaps make room in your heart to hate some specific non-profits as well? Because — and we hate to be the ones...