karl rove

Yesterday Karl Rove met with a group of billionaires in a secret room in Tampa, where he suggested that murdering Todd Akin might be an appropriate means of delivering his party to higher, more Senate-controlling vistas. It’s about time Karl Rove considered this, the murder of Todd Akin. Wasn’t it sort of obvious…?

Hello, bleeding heart liberals, we know you are already very excited about hating SuperPACs but could you perhaps make room in your heart to hate some specific non-profits as well? Because — and we hate to be the ones to break it to you — non-profit organizations are just as capable of spending massive amounts […]

Who among you supposed — nay, dreamed — way back in 2008 that Karl Rove, having completed his task of gifting George W. Bush to America, would take his balls and go home and stop messing around with democracy? Well, we hate to be the bearers of bad news, but not only does he have […]

Yesterday, ThinkProgress reported that Karl Rove, disgusting human being and co-founder of the American Crossroads Superpac, is making a “mockery of the law” by attending a Romney-hosted retreat for top $100,000-and-up campaign bundlers and donors at a Park City, Utah, resort. Predictably, the internet is all a-twitter at the shocking revelation that a SuperPac cofounder would […]

And this is a painting of George W. Bush, as unveiled at a White House ceremony that just wrapped up. Look at ‘im. He’s like, “Boy howdy don’t I look good, hummina hummina.” And no, it wasn’t “awkward,” this ceremony. Some folks have suggested that the atmosphere might be uncomfortable since Barack Obama has been […]

The esteemed KARL ROVE & CO. firm is out with its first electoral map of the season, and whoo boy does it show some kinda landslide for Barack Obama, giving him approximately 700 electoral votes. Really, Karl? South Carolina as a toss-up? South Carolina only does two things, and it does them well: voting against […]

Oh man, Karl Rove. Here we all were in 2008 thinking that he’d finally leave the highest ranks of presidential politics and probably go to jail or pick his nose under the railroad tracks all day or something. Instead, here we are with the 2012 presidential election and Rove is running the Republican side yet […]

What are America’s old white racist exurban cretins on Medicare and Social Security upset about today? Oh, the usual: Obama, liberals, gays, sex, black people, youth, hippies, the poor, the rich, Mexicans, “the hip hop,” Iran, exercise, unemployment, unemployment benefits, vegetables, a talented black woman with addiction problems such as Whitney Houston, organic farms, birth […]

Here is Karl Rove’s State of the Union drinking game, which has only one rule: the middle class makes Karl Rove want to puke when he hears it mentioned. The middle class makes Karl Rove so sick he can even skip the drinking and go right to the vomiting. “That doesn’t sound like much of […]

Hey, everyone remember that weird attack ad Karl Rove’s sweatshop of joyless video editor-slaves at Crossroads GPS slapped together a few weeks ago accusing Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren of hating “job creation” because she, um, sympathized with the concerns of the unemployed and Occupy Wall Street? Yeah, so: how well has this strategy worked […]

Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet and look, here already is a giant plate of half-putrefied “leftovers” to add to the compost bin: mutant overgrown toad wart Roger Ailes nearly (OH GOD, WHY NEARLY) evicted yammering reject Sarah Palin from his evil teevee space beams in an enraged fit right after she “announced” she was quitting […]

Returned dildo Karl Rove caught a case of one of these human microphones that are going around, this time courtesy of some rather mouthy students at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. Skip the first boring 1:30 and then marvel as Rove asks them, “Who gave you the right to occupy America? Nobody!” If you ignore […]

How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that […]

Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. […]

Oh, look whose handlers discovered fish-eye lenses and sepia filters! Insipid reality teevee grandma Sarah Palin released another mind-numbing Internet home movie about signing autographs in Iowa to share, for whatever reason, who needs a reason? Rat-faced freak show Karl Rove excitedly predicts she released this video because she is finally planning to jump into the […]