Tag Archives: karl marx

  The Origin Of Specious

Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed

We have no context for this image. But Charles Darwin WILL learn you on this.
If it’s Sunday, it must be time for another foray into the mind of Colorado radio man o’ God and homeschooling big wheel Kevin Swanson, the genius who warns that the Girl Scouts are communist lesbians whose cookies fund abortions and lesbianism, although we aren’t sure why lesbians are having all those abortions anyway. We’ve been delving into Swanson’s 2013 freshman term paper book Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, a sloppy little history of the ideas and thinkers who have been ruining Western Culture by making it what we think of as “Western Culture.” Last week, we learned that Karl Marx was a monster who starved his children (no he wasn’t) and who was driven by actual contact with demons. This week, it’s Charles Darwin’s turn to get Swansoned, although we suppose it’s possible that even after Apostate has completely dismantled him, Darwin may still be considered important, because people are just that stubborn and prone to evil. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed…
  The Socialist Network

Sundays With The Christianists: Marx Was Wrong Because Jesus Loved Inequality

We simply couldn't find a Marxist anime demon girl
Happy Dia De Los Muertos, all you Wonkees! Grab a candy skull and let’s commune with the spirits of the departed, which of course probably sounds like consorting with demons to our favorite deranged Christianist, Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Marx Was Wrong Because Jesus Loved Inequality…
  The Marx of the Beast

Sundays With The Christianists: Homos And Demons And Marx, Oh My!

Why is there a union jack on the skull? Your guess is as good as any. Let's say it represent Marx's London years.
Here we are at Part 3 of our dive into Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, by Kevin Swanson, the radio preacher who likes to warn that the Pill leaves women’s wombs chock full of tiny dead babies, like some kind of horrifying death-muffin, and that his home state of Colorado has become one big gay pot orgy all the time, just like North Korea. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Homos And Demons And Marx, Oh My!…
  Still More Lies From The Pit Of Hell

Sundays With The Christianists: How Western Culture Got All Satanic

Image dimensions: 700 X 666 -- we swear it just worked out that way
Welcome to part 2 of our exploration of Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, by Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson, whose goal in this book is to explain just how Western Civilization was destroyed by just about everything that we commonly think of as Western Civilization — and which was, moreover, mostly inspired by Satan. As we said last week, in Swanson’s view, the pinnacle of Western culture begins and more or less ends with the Bible, and literary works that are 100% in keeping with Biblical precepts — for instance, he thinks that Augustine’s Confessions and Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress are a pretty good basis for all the literature classes you’d ever need. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: How Western Culture Got All Satanic…
  Lincoln's Doctor's Dog Was A Commie Too

Abraham Lincoln, Total Communist

Save it for COMMUNISM, that is!
We just keep falling in love all over again with Colorado wingnut radio preacher Kevin Swanson. Anyone who thinks that the Pill leaves ladies’ innards littered with tiny dead fetuses and that Mark Twain was possessed by demons is OK in our book (it is a rather strange book). And now Swanson has blown the lid off the biggest scam ever: Abraham Lincoln was a Marxist socialist commie who was bent on turning America into a socialist hellhole, and it worked!!!! Read more on Abraham Lincoln, Total Communist…
  the whoring 20s

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschooled Flappers And Bootleggers

OK, this is the week we finally get to the flappers, you fappers. We’ve been spending a little extra time with our Christian textbooks’ treatment of the 1920s, which turns out to be a fine decade for the authors to lecture about the culture wars of the last quarter of the century. And as usual, our 8th-grade text from A Beka, America: Land I Love, is delighted to jump in and let kids know exactly where America was deceived: World War I boosted America’s economy and spurred great advances in technology. Prospering businesses and industries brought a higher standard of living, allowing people to work to provide for their families. Most Americans still held to traditional values based on Biblical principles. However, the Roaring Twenties became a turning point in American thought and culture, as prosperity encouraged Americans to pursue pleasure and material gain. Entertainment especially reflected an increasing decline in morality. And of course, because this is a Christianist textbook for 8th-graders, we don’t learn too much about what that decline entailed, except that the divorce rate increased and movies glamorized speakeasies and contraband booze. It’s presumably left to the classroom or parental teacher to explain that there was also (shudder!) dancing. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschooled Flappers And Bootleggers…
  Part 10: Did We Mention That They Really Don't Like Marx?

Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses

Welcome, Comrades! We’re still making our way through the “we really don’t like communism” chapter of our 10th-grade textbook for Christian schools, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. So pour a nice glass of Victory Gin, hum the Internationale, and we’ll visit History’s Greatest Monsters, your Godless Commies. Now, last week, we found out that communism is just the worst thing ever! This week, we learn that your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason the textbook wants to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. It’s really sort of endearing just how much the editors want to make clear that Karl Marx was a bad, bad man motivated by, as they put it, “a violent hatred for God and humanity.” Because really, isn’t the study of history primarily about identifying who the Good Guys were and proving that the Bad Guys were cartoon supervillains? Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses…
  Part 9: Marxy Marx & the Fundie Bunch

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children

So now that we’re well into the nineteenth century with our hilarious 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, we’re getting to some of the pivotal Bad Guys from the editors’ closetful of nightmare boogiemen. Last week it was Charles Darwin and a collection of terrifying Victorian philosophers who advocated such radical notions as benevolence to the poors. This week, we’ll be tackling the monster that scares the editors more than science, maybe even more than the Pope: Godless Communism! And by this, we mean actual communism, not just all of the little bits of social reform that these nimrods also like to call “communism.” It is worth noting that, by the time this edition of the textbook was published, in 1997, the USSR and Eastern Bloc had already fallen, China’s economy was solidly capitalist, and the remaining countries that could be called “communist” could be counted on one hand. So of course, World History presents communism as the single greatest threat to freedom in the world, because after all, the UN still exists. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children…
  Part 8: Science Makes Everything Much Worse

Sundays With The Christianists: With This ‘World History’ Textbook, Your Homeschooled Babbies Will Not Evolve

It’s time for another visit to the funhouse mirror held up to history by our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. If the Church of Rome was the textbook’s designated Big Bad for the period from Constantine through the Reformation, then history’s other greatest monster is Charles Darwin, who along with Karl Marx, provides the heresies against which World History will kick for most of the modern era. Buckle up, gentle readers — we’re headed for a Culture War zone. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: With This ‘World History’ Textbook, Your Homeschooled Babbies Will Not Evolve…
  important cultural signifiers

A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!

Did you know that your precious Death Panel legislation includes a mandate to resurrect the corpse of Karl Marx thrice yearly, or else face a maximum penalty of one percent of your income plus ten minutes in a dark room with John Boehner? Look at the President chortling as he zaps Marx to life! He probably didn’t even wash his hands, just put on those rubber gloves and set to zappin’, just like a Democrat. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!…
  zat you santa claus?

Santa Claus Palling Around With Marxists

Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father of Communism. Second, he dresses top-to-bottom in red! Third, the whole idea of Father Christmas reindeering and sleighing around the world with a giant sack full of presents shrieks of commie propaganda.” [Australian] Read more on Santa Claus Palling Around With Marxists…
  secret communists

SARAH THE MARXIST: She takes the oil companies’ hard-earned money and “redistributes” it to shiftless Alaskans! “[W]e’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs,” she told the elite socialist rag The New Yorker. That means every Alaskan gets $3,269 a year from the State, just for living and breathing on that lost and frigid tundra, and that is also why she is America’s most popular governor. Because she is a Communist. [The New Yorker] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

Illegal Robots, Illegal Bra Cash, Illegal Sunshine

In the 90s, McCain gave thousands of dollars of Neiman Marcus gift certificates to fashion terrorist Rashid Khalidi. [Ezra Klein] This Mass. state senator accepted bribes from a swanky European-style discotheque called “Dejavu” in exchange for getting them a liquor license. Naturally, there are hotpixxx of her stuffing $1000 of this illicit ca$h into her bra. [TPMMuckraker] Read more on Illegal Robots, Illegal Bra Cash, Illegal Sunshine…
 

Masterful Bill Kristol Pens Best Column Yet!

Quiet ye unenlightened Cretans, for the man’s tortured quill is ablaze with righteous argumentation! We speak of New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol, of course, the most inquisitive and trenchant commentator in Western Hemispherical History! For his Monday column he tackles whatever the big Saturday news happened to be (as per usual). In this case it’s Barack Obama’s inflammatory selection of the adjective “bitter.” As used in a sentence in liberal San Francisco! Most conservative commentators have been running with the nitwit’s interpretation: that Obama is an unforgivable liberal elitist elitist liberal elitist. Ballyhoo and tut tut! Kristol takes that extra leap that only a Harvardian of his ethno-brainian historical knowledgo-centrism can understand: Obama is a communist! Read more on Masterful Bill Kristol Pens Best Column Yet!…