• THERE’S NO POINT IN FIGHTING IT ANYMORE: It’s time to just enjoy the obsession with whatever Kanye West did at a children’s television ceremony. [kanyelicio.us]

First there was Terry Moran’s Twitter. Yesterday, TMZ brought us audio. And here, for your masturbation purposes, is videographic footage of Barack Obama calling ex-college student Kanye West a “jackass” for what he did during that “perfectly nice woman”’s music video award speech, on teevee. Ben Smith found this clip first and posted it, but then, OH WHAT HAPPENED HERE hmm?: “UPDATE: Not so much: Wiser heads than mine at POLITICO made the call to take down the video of the ‘jackass’ moment. Sorry about the tease if you missed it.” Fortunately CNN’s Rick Sanchez stole it just in time! So… when do we get to see a video of Obama calling Jim VandeHei and John Harris “kiss-asses”? [YouTube, Ben Smith]

• You, the worker, have actually been getting paid more, not less, over the last year.* (*Except if you are unemployed. Salaries of the unemployed have been comparatively static.) [New York Times]
• The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has joined most of Congress in thinking Obama’s idea about a new surge in Afghanistan is in fact a terrible one. [Times Online]
• Bill Clinton, on one of his bimonthly goodwill visits to Earth, has endorsed attractive Californian Gavin Newsom for the position of Governor of California. [Los Angeles Times]
• Police announced that Blagojevich’s former gal Friday, Christopher Kelley, who died of an overdose last weekend had previously tried to die of an overdose. [Chicago Tribune]
• Some religious Southwesterners are fighting to keep Big Government from taking away their constitutional right to brew psychedelic tea, which … helps them with their God. [WSJ]
• Here is your CLOSURE: Kanye West has apologized to Hilary Duff for his failure to observe congressional protocol. She was like, “Fine.” The end. [CNN]

Here’s audio of our President telling CNBC people that that rapper who said one lady’s music video was better than the other lady’s music video during an annual television special for 13-year-olds… is a “jackass.” Okay. [YouTube]

Apparent MTV employee Barack Obama called human simulacrum Kanye West a “jackass.” This is in response to Kanye yelling something in bad taste to Faith Hill at the Country Music Awards, which has been plaguing our President, this altercation between two Hollywood movie stars about something, a shared boyfriend maybe. Anyway, this latest declaration from Obama is “causing quite a stir on Twitter,” as all known events have been wont to do lately, because it was apparently given off the record to CNBC. But CNBC and ABC got their scoops crossed, and ABC’s Terry Moran Twittered the “jackass” comment, which was bad form because how dare journalist Terry Moran report this exclusive information. The Tweet has since been sent back to Hell. [Michael Calderone]

Hey have you heard about the important something-or-other, on teevee, when the one hip-hop fellow Mr. Kanye West said something about the hip-hop lady? SCANDAL! Well Barack Obama hates all this dumb misogynistic consumer-good-worshiping dumb shit. [YouTube]

Oh dear, it looks like those liberal celebrities are insulting George W. Bush’s heroism by plotting amateurish “copycat crimes” against Freedom. Why else would self-loathing college rapper Kanye West be arrested at the airport, on 9/11? Exactly. Now let’s invade, what, Belgium or Egypt or something. [CNN]

• President Bush sends out holiday greetings, reveals deeply-felt prejudices. MORE »

In his nationally televised news conference this morning, President Bush told the press corps that it hurts his feelings whenever he hears that he doesn’t care about black people. MORE »

Does DC have its own Kanye West, Jr.? According to a FLOTUS (cute) pool report this afternoon, a visit to a Southeast Washington public charter school by Prince Charles, the FLOTUS, and Camilla prompted this observation from Denzell Grimes, 14: “It’’s awfully rare for white people to come to our school–like, from other countries.””

Speak truth to power, Denzell! Or just make an observation:

Upon further review of an audiotape, the quote from Denzell Grimes appears to be incorrect. According to the tape, Grimes stated: “It’s awfully rare for ROYAL people to come to our school–like from other countries.”

Both things technically true. You’ve got a future in politics, kid.

Full reports after the jump.

MORE »

The NFL announced that it will be instituting a 10-second tape delay for the network broadcast of its Opening Kickoff 2005, the concert-event-multisponsor-clusterfuck slated to be broadcast this year from Giants stadium. Among the performers will be Green Day, which casitgates President Bush’s “redneck agenda” on American Idiot; the Rolling Stones, which calls our leader “a crock of shit” on A Bigger Bang; and Kanye West, who questions the sincerity of Bush’s compassionate conservatism for the other-than-white complexioned. The West and Rolling Stones performances will be taped, in any event, so what this appears to boil down to is that the leaders of America’s most proudly macho sports pastime are afraid of what Billie Joe Armstrong might say. This leaves us wondering a couple of things. Aren’t the Dixie Chicks and Janet Jackson now owed a big apology from some girly-man or other? And which is now more officially dead: Punk rock or pro football? — HOLLY MARTINS MORE »